せつない |tommyinnit x reader oneshots

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Tommy x insecure reader
TW: self hate, self harm (no cuts)

It's quite normal for us to be insecure with our bodies but sometimes your insecurity goes overboard. You're looking at your reflection rubbing your cheek pissed off at your face, thinking why were you born this way. You were really confident about your body but sometimes words can really affect your mindset. A family relative point out such flaws about your physical appearance and here you are in the bathroom glaring at the mirror wanting to slap your face. You were frustrated biting your lip trying not to cry, but it was hard to supress these emotions. Sobs were filled in the tiled room, pulling your hair in frustration. Biting your nails off your mind is off to space. You are now sitting on the bathroom floor hugging your knees. It's really difficult when there's no one to talk to. Yeah sure your friends are there but it's the same advice all over again. "It's okay" "you look fine" "don't let their words get to your head"

But no its not okay, you don't feel like you look fine and it's hard not to listen to such judgements. You've been trying over and over again thinking that your going to be fine, but here you are simple little words made you bawl out tears. You've had enough. You stood up dusting off the dirt off your pants and opened the bathroom door. You stormed out the living room grabbing a jacket before leaving. Your family watched you leave with confused faces but soon going back to what they were doing. You looked out the window one last time before walking down the pavement to the park. You hugged yourself with the jacket warming yourself up as a cold wind passed by. You were trying not to cry again but your thoughts couldn't help but think such things. You wiped your tears away lips still quivering from both your cry and the cold.

You finally arrived at the park sitting on a grass hill looking as people pass by. Some were walking their dogs, other walk with their partner or family and some walk alone with either a smile or a straight face. You felt lonely. You sighed and was getting ready to stand up when a cup of ice cream was in front of your face. You looked up seeing a boy smiling. He looked pretty alright with his blonde hair and blue eyes. He looks pretty basic to be honest. But something about this boy made your mind as clear as the sky. Is it the smile? Or is it the kind action he's doing? You don't know.

"And why would i take that?" He was taken aback, not expecting you to give such a reply.

"Damn i was just trying to be nice" He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Here take it you seem sad"

"What if theres poison in it?" You crossed your arms,raising a brow. He laughed at you as if you said something crazy, well to him it kinda does. Him? Poison you? He's just trying to be nice and why the hell did that came to your mind? "Well if there is i probably wouldn't give it to you"

"And why is that?"

"It would be a waste if you died, you're too pretty to" he said grinning. You weren't expecting such a confident reply but it made you laugh making you forget your intrusive thoughts. You took the cup and thanked him slowly picking it up with a plastic spoon and tasted it. Surprisngly you didn't feel anything and continued to eat it. He chuckled at your actions and eat his own. He sat next to you also looking at people passing by.

"So are you here with your family?" You asked, you thought it would be nice to chat to a stranger for a while so why not ask. "Well no my friends and i were doing a vlog they were out to roam around the park but i stopped for ice cream" He explained casually as if an old friend was talking to him. "Isn't it a little too cold for ice cream?" You asked while licking the ice cream your holding ironically. He chuckled at your actions "Can't believe your asking that to me while literally eating it" you just shrugged continuing to eat the cold dairy.

"Well what about you? What are you doing here?" He said while crumpling the paper cup. You were quiet for a second contemplating to tell a complete stranger about your insecurities. "Well I just need some fresh air that's all there's a crowd back home. It's suffocating" Well it's not exactly what happened but the feeling is true. All those blood related people invading your house when you don't even know most of them.

He looked at you with concerned eyes as if he felt that theres something more than that. He brushed it off not wanting to invade your private life. "That is true.   People can be more suffocating than trapping yourself in a holeless box" those words can never be so true. You sighed standing up dusting the dirt off your pants. He too stood up in front of you. You reached out your hand in front of him " Y/N, Y/N L/N" you smiled waiting patiently for him to grab your extended hand. "Tom, you can call me tommy" he shook his hands not letting go for a few seconds. You pulled ypur hand away clearing your throat. "Well tommy, i'll see you whenever?" He just nodded and replied with a quick "yeah"

Soon you two bid your goodbyes. Both of you going to different directions. You are now walking back to your home with a small smile on your face.

It's good to connect with strangers when you both don't have any clue about each other.