☾✧❀Jesskas Oneshots❀✧☽

Overwhelmed (old)

(Hello, I am back. I apologize about how long it has taken me to get another chapter out. This is a huge vent and a way to get stress off my shoulders. Many of many TW: S31f Harm, B100d, AnX13ty, Mentions of Su1c1da1 Th0ughts, etc. It ends with fluff though, don't attack meeeee)

Jesse sat in his office, paper's scattered all across the floor. He let out a groan, taking his head in his hands as he stared at the paper in front of him. It was about new laws and complaints about other people living in beacon town. Do you think he cared? No. Of course not. All anyone did anymore was complain about things they could do themselves.

They always thought he could do anything for them, but he can't. He just can't. It's not like he is the admin or anything and he can just snap his fingers to make everything better. Life is harder than that. Constant nagging about things you had to do, the never ending bombarding of questions.

He felt something rubbing against his leg, quite soft actually. Nothing like the scratchy and annoying paper that covered the floor like carpet. He reached down to grab whatever it was, grabbing whatever it was by what seemed to be it's scruff. It let out a small mew, hanging there in his hand, was a small kitten.

"Willow, how did you get here?" He asked, the cat simply purred in reply. He dropped Willow on the desk, the cat almost instantly jumping onto his lap and curling up. Jesse laughed a bit, running his hand across the kitten's back. The door creaked, making his head snap up towards the figure standing in the open doorway.

"Hey Jesse, do you mind me walking in here? I hope it's alright. I'm sorry if i'm bothering you- Wow! So much paperwork, your so cool!-" The brunette hit his hand on his desk to silence them. "Hello to you to Radar.." He huffed, Willow hopping off his lap and padding up to Radar. Sniffing him with curiosity.

The black haired intern adjusted his glasses before speaking, "Someone want's to see you." Jesse cocked his head to the side and nodded for him to continue. "Lukas wanted to speak with you." Radar corrected himself, bending down to pet Willow on the head. "Is he with you?" Jesse pressed, beginning to stand up from his seat.

"No, but he is just outside. He said for me to bring you out to have a small chat?" Even Radar seemed confused, but seemed to roll with it. His heart began to race, and he swallowed his fear down. He could not have found out about last night, had he?

Jesse looked down at the cool metal in his hands, running a finger down the sharp blade with a small smile etched across his face. He sat in the corner of his room, near a book shelf where he had his books about potions, fighting, building, you name it. His focus was on the small dagger in his hands. So sharp and neat. Nothing could beat it. Not even the Witherstorm, the admin, nobody. Though, the only thing that could was his own thoughts.

He removed his hand from the blade watching as the blood ran down the middle of his hand and down his forearm. He had not meant to push that hard on it, though the pain was numbing everything around him. He carefully set the dagger down, staring at it intently as if it was going to say something. Nobody knew how bad he wanted it imbedded in his chest. Piercing his heart as he hugged himself. Everything going dark.

But he knew he could never do it. He was to much of a chicken to actually do it. Even if the own sight of his blood was normal. He could never do something as much as that. There was a small knock on the door and he quickly shoved the dagger back into it's place in it's small holder on his belt. Nobody had ever seen it, nobody questioned it. He stared down at his bloodied hand, his heart sinking at the sight. Why had he done this? Was this really what he wanted?

Jesse felt as if the world had stopped, everything around him loosing meaning and leaving him alone. Just him, the dagger and his thoughts.