Blue Rose Tears

Chapter 4

P.O.V Narrator

That was all Pascal needed to hear. He smiled clamly, before talking to his friend.

"Good, first, I need you to close your eyes." - The red-haired boy says, watching his friend follow his instructions.

Carl does what he is told, the apprehension of not knowing what would happen only made him more curious.

"Okay, now imagine that Serge is in front of you." - The elder says, guiding the boy.

Carl's imagination allowed him to visualize the figure of the gipsy boy right in front of him, he could see every detail of the pianist's appearance clearly.Picturing him with such concentration made him a little nervous, because the scenes that happened earlier were still in his mind. He tried to focus on what Pascal was saying, in order to carry out the experiment and understand what he was feeling.

"Keep imagining, tell me what you feel when you imagine him so close to you."- Pascal said, waiting for the answer.

What could he feel? Carl felt a little ashamed to imagine himself so close to him. Of course he had already imagined himself with the pianist, but doing it with someone else around made him nervous.

"I... I don't know! While I want to get closer, I don't know if It's the right thing to do." - The dark haired boy answers, exposing his doubts.

The truth is that Carl was never able to understand his feelings very well, he repressed what he felt for people so much that he no longer understood what was love and what wasn't.He'd always been a shy boy: It got better as he grew up, but was a problem during his childhood.At the same time that he imagined himself with girls, he sometimes imagined himself with the boys he knew. Both thoughts made him feel guilty, especially the second one.That was the price of being born and growing up in an extremely conservative society.Pascal, seeing what his friend was going through, decided to help him understand once and for all to whom he was attracted to.He knew Carl, and suspected that maybe he could feel as much attraction for men as he did for women, he just repressed it very well.

The red-haired scientist had already noticed the way he looked at people of both genders, always with that look of enchantment, curiosity, and mainly, guilt.The eldest boy had wanted to do this for some time, and this was the perfect moment. Pascal gently puts his hands on his friend's shoulders, and tilts his head slightly forward.A little surprised by this sudden touch, Carl is curious but doesn't complain. Deep down, he knew what was coming.One part of him told him to go away and pretend that the conversation never happened, but the other part yearned for something he didn't even know what it was.

"Keep imagining that Serge is in my place." - Pascal says, inches away from the dark-haired boy, the two boys could feel each other's breathing.

Slowly, the scientist approaches and presses his lips to Carl's. It was a new experience for both of them, since neither had kissed another man.In his normal state, Carl would have walked away, but not this time. The image he had of Serge doing this was slowly fading away.He risked opening his eyes a little; his vision was blurred and only the shade of Pascal's red hair could be seen.It was a simple, delicate kiss, the lips of the two boys had only touched slightly. What lasted a few seconds seemed like an eternity, time stopped in that laboratory.For the first time in a long time, Pascal felt something in a kiss. He had already kissed some friends of his sisters, for him they were normal situations, but this was different.With Carl, it was different.