versace ➳ j.g. [discontinued]

0.7

"aye gilinsky, who's that special someone your texting?" nate asks, nudging jack's side.

gilinsky shook his head, still peering down at his phone. he chuckled and began typing away at his phone again.

we were all currently seated at one of the best diners in los angeles, this being my first time here but the guys have said the food here is pretty good. these diners were what i always thought they'd look like. the stripes and the counters. the booths and the people. it was like a cute family of co-workers with bright smiles plastered on their faces. all full of happiness.

i was seated in between johnson and sammy. both of them looked as bored as me. i fidgeted with my fingers and gave my surroundings few more glances.

a hand was placed over mine as i looked down to see that the hand belonged to sammy. i sucked in a breath, slowly pulling my hand away. i gave him the "what in the world are you doing" eye and sank down in the comfy seat.

my foot accidentally kicked gilinsky's shoe, making him look up at me with his eyebrows raised. i shook my head as he began to look down again. who was he even texting?

"welcome to the diner of los angeles! sorry we took so long to get to you, but here are your menus and the specials are on the back, my lovelies." a woman said, making us all look to the side. "what drinks would you like?"

"its fine, thank you." i smile at her to be polite. "i'll have a cup of milk please."

she smiles faintly, talking the rest of the guy's orders before walking away. she looked like she was in her early thirties. with the dark circles under her eyes and messy bun, you could tell she was frustrated and tired.

a few minutes later, she returns with our drinks and takes out her notepad and a pen. "are you lovelies ready yet?"

nate nods first. we all tell the waitress what we want. she then saunters off into the back again. she left the entire table in awkward silence.

"so," i began. "what's up?"

sammy throws his head back and laughs, "you are so bad at starting conversations."

"wow thanks!" i said in a flat tone. "i never knew that."

he puts his arm around me. "anytime, babygirl."

here we fucking go again with the name calling. can you hear my heart melting? the reason why i don't like people calling me "babe" etc. is because i get pretty uncomfortable and it's not fun for me. but when it comes to "babygirl", that's a whole other story.

i copy sammy and throw my arm around johnson, making us look like a trio. i give sammy a smile as johnson leans over and whispers into my ear, "wilkinson's gonna get his ass kicked by gilinsky later. just watch."

i give him a confused look. "why?"

"because he's breaking guy code. gilinsky met you first, but it all depends on you, homie."

"what do you mean 'it depends on me'?"

"who do you like more?"

"what the fuck."

oh fuck, i said that part out loud.

gilinsky looks up at me again. our eyes hold each others gazes for a few moments, but he looks back down at his phone. he laughs quietly to himself and continues to type on his phone.

nate's sitting next to him, being real quiet. i watch the both of them. nate looks out through the corner of his eye, peering at gilinsky's phone screen.

"im gonna go outside for air." i tell the group. "johnson, can you-"

he stands up and moves to the side as i scoot out of the booth. i glance back for a second and sammy meets my eyes. he's standing up too.

instead of waiting and wanting company, i walk straight outside and lean against the diner railings below the windows. i inhale the scent of the salty air and exhale.

"i want to be alone." i say as soon as sammy is leaning against the railing too.

"i didn't ask if you wanted to be alone." he speaks up. "what's wrong?"

"it's nothing, just bullshit." i answered.

what was wrong? there were always these time when i was in high school where i would randomly become sad in the middle of things. i reached out to my mom, of course. she knew everything, right? so she brought me to see my doctor and i got asked with questions, and i ended up seeing a therapist every week.

i never got told what was wrong with me, so i just went with "im bipolar" or "im depressed." all those days were long gone since i went to college. at least i thought they were.

"whatever bullshit this is, let me in." sammy replies. he holds out his hand and looks up at me.

i slowly inch my hand to hover over his, and then finally let him lock our fingers together.

"jack and you." i let out, truthfully. "wanting to be a kid again. missing mom. how i never met my fucking dad. like all this shit is coming back to me at the wrong time."

he pushes himself off the railing and steps in front of me. he wraps his arms around me, protectively and holds me against his chest. "what about me and jack?"

i let him hold me close, as i shook my head. "i don't know, im just confused."

i look up at him and watch him lick his lips, then resting his chin on my head. i cling onto him, just wanting him to hold me as he leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead.

"we always tell our fans this, so im just gonna tell you this too, okay?" he starts, waiting for my answer.

i nod and begin to listen.

"whenever one of them comes up to us at a meet and greet and says something about sadness and how we helped them a lot, i always say it's going to be okay. you know why?" he asks.

i shrug and take another deep breath.

"because it does. life. life won't leave you hanging. and when they say there's always light at the end of the dark tunnel, it's true. i've seen people go through bullshit too. like in middle school, i went through some deep shit, but i stayed strong and i found reasons and things that have helped me get through what i got through. those reasons were why i was happy, you know? you're gonna find reasons and you won't be confused because whatever choice you'll make in the future will always turn out to be a good one."

a smile slowly appears on my lips. wise words from sam wilkinson.

"thanks for your wise words, wilkinson." i mumble into his shirt. he brings his hand to the the side of my face, gently brushing my cheek and tucks a strand off my hair that has fallen out of place, behind my ear.

"im always here for ya', babygirl." he says. "i promise."

"promises are big things, sammy."

"i know im gonna keep this promise, reagan. trust me." he smiles, placing his hand gently on my back. "now let's go inside, okay?"

-

this is a longer update bc i can type better on an ipod its weird.

imma edit all the chapters including the past/present tense shit later.

also if you havent checked out my rant book and my other fics, you should do that too !

FROM NOW ON THIS FANFIC WILL BE WRITTEN IN PRESENT TENSE

thank you for all the reads & votes / lots of love, w. grier.