You BEAM my heart back & FORTH (ForthBeam)

Chapter 6 - Undying love

I dumped my bag by the side of my bed and let myself drop on the cold white bed sheet. I stared lifelessly at the bare ceiling. My bed was comfortable and soft to the skin, but I could feel something piercing my heart from my back through my chest. I don't think I will ever be able to sleep today. I felt empty. Will my life be mainly be composed of going to school and watching everyone around me be happy? I had my parents, my siblings, and my friends. But yet again why do I feel that there was a hole in my heart that was left wide open.

It was one of those quiet and pleasant nights, and here I was drowning myself in useless and hurtful thoughts. I don't want to get up. I don't want to move even for a single inch. And in such moment, it took all the strength I have left to make a good choice; to reach my heart and ask if that junior was really the one I wanted. The answer was pretty much clear to me. And yet how to get out of this pitch-dark hole of unrequited love, I wondered.

I closed my eyes and all I could see was Beam with a girl. I opened my eyes and closed them back in, I still saw Beam but with another girl. I was useless. All I could think about was Beam flirting with a girl. I never felt so worthless and empty before, never so wretched and cold. For hours I would have no emotion, only an urge to grab the shirt just above my chest and squeeze it hard, hoping it will lessen the pain but never did. I found myself shaking with a deep grief that bled from all my cells. I started to see only darkness around, and soon there were no more colours in my world.

The tiredness that begun few hours ago remained like a veil over my skin, grey and cold. I could feel something warm going down my cheek. I placed my right forearm on my eyes and sighed. I should probably just give up. I was not meant for any romance and will probably end up on a blind date in my older age. Well, it didn’t matter anymore. I took a deep breath and pulled myself from bed to take a shower. I tightly squeezed the soft pillow once I was back to my bed again. “What should I do?” I questioned as I looked at the white pillow in my arms. A small giggle escaped my lips. I was asking a pillow what to do with my life. I caressed its cotton cover and went deep into thoughts again.

I could hear a car honking outside of my window. Again I couldn't sleep. I sluggishly went to my window and saw someone familiar. I washed my face and went downstairs. It was Pha. 

"Hey" my voice was crispy and barely out of my throat

"Oh! You are in a bad shape. Did you went drinking yesterday? " Pha jokingly said to me

"Er! I know! No I stayed up late last night. What's up?" I asked him trying to make my exhausted eyes adapt to the bright morning sun

"I came to return you the cd you lend me. Thanks" He said as he showed me the CD. 

"No problem" I said still figuring out if the surface of the floor was not flat or was it just my head spinning

"I will go to the university now. I need to see the rehearsal for the moons and stars" he said with a giant grin. I know who is going to see and it didn't bother me at all that time. 

"See ya" I said as he entered his sport car
I seriously don't want to go to the university today but I have some hazing to do with the junior and I can't give bad examples. With the biggest sigh I have ever done, I went back inside to get ready. 

I took a shower and a quick breakfast before heading to the university. I drove my bike to a near café and entered. I bumped into ai'Kit who just hang up his phone

"Oh! Ai'Forth. What's up?" Kit said with a smile still with his coffee in one hand
"Hey Kit! I came to grab a coffee and go to the university." I replied back with a gentle smile

"That's good. Can you drop me at the university? I need to go there quick" Kit enthusiastically asked

"That's fine for me. What's the hurry?" I asked while ordering my drink

"Pha is in big trouble Beam said" he said while sipping his coffee

"What kind of trouble? Is it bad?" I asked worriedly

"Hmm.. I don't know. Beam said to hurry" he replied

"Then let's hurry" I quickly said as I grab what I bought and went outside
Kit already finished his drink and threw it away in the bin. We arrived at the university and Kit went down my bike. 

"Here!" He said while giving my drink back

"Thanks" I said as I grabbed it from him

"Thanks for the ride ai'Forth" He said whilst returning my helmet

"See ya" he ran to the rehearsal room

I removed my helmet and hanged it on the handle of my bike. I drank my coffee and waited a bit.

I could see Kit, Pha and Beam at the door of the rehearsal room. They were all looking at the rehearsal with amazement. I wonder what they are watching. I didn't want to be a busybody so I put my helmet back on and drove to my parking at the back of the university. 

It was already late in the afternoon and I was dead tired. All I wanted to do was sleep but I knew if I went back home now I will probably stay up all night again.

~Phone vibrates~

Who's calling me? It was Beam. I immediately took the call

"Ai'Forth" his voice was deep but sweet. I couldn't help myself but smile upon hearing him calling my name 

"..hey what's up?" I finally replied back
"Kit and I were dumped by that assh*le Pha. Do you want to come and play basketball with us?" He asked

"Sure. Text me where, I'm coming" I said and hung up

I don't even know where would I get the energy to play but I feel revived. I literally flew on the road and was at destination within minutes. 

"Here Forth!" Someone shouted from the court and rushed to the fense to welcome me

It was Beam with his sleeves folded to his elbow and his shirt half opened. He was holding the basketball ball under one arm. I could see the sweat rolling down his neck and down his chest. I gulp my saliva.

TBC
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