Random oneshots :)

21-professor snape x reader 2

*mentions of abuse, rape, violence, reader is hardcore traumataized*

**

it was a challenge, but he was up for it. after seeing you like this, after you told him whats happening, he couldnt leave. he had stopped you from killing yourself once, but he had to make sure you dont try again.

and now, after he kissed you on the deck, the feeling of your hands on him, your soft lips and your big eyes, he knew he wasnt going to let go.

"are you cold?" he whispers against your lips, kissing you again softly afterwards. you dont reply, and the dark haired man pulls away, looking down at you. "if you dont like something... if you want something... tell me" he whispers, and watchs as you nod.

the thing is that you knew it. you knew you could ask or say or deny, but after all those years of abuse and assult, you couldnt. you were unable to say 'no' or 'i dont like that'. you werent allowed to, and your mind refused to say those words, because it knew what comes next.

violence, abuse, assult, pain. asking for something or saying something never worked for you. you were not allowed to deny for so many years, your soul was destined-scarred to be this way forever.

he sees as you shake under him, and pulls back to grab the sweater you took of minutes earlier. he takes your wrist gently in his, and feels through your wrist how much you tensed, so he lets go, and hands over the sweater, encouraging to put it on.

with shaking hands you take it and pull it back over your head, smoothing it down and looking at snape as he grabbed your shoes and hands them over.

sitting down on the deck, you took the shoes and put them on again, fingers shaking and struggling to tie the laces. snape looked down at your shaking body and your pale fingers struggle with the laces.

sighing, he gets to his knees and ties them for you quickly, standing up again and offering his hand down for you. hesitantly, you slip your cold, small hand into his warm and big one, and he pulls you up to your feet again, and starts walking back to the castle with your dragging behind him.

"w-wait my-" "you dont need that" he snaps at you, and you jump and flinch, immediatly dropping your request and following after him with your face cast down, body shaking.

stopping, he clicks his tounge and turns back to you, remembering what your classmate said that one time, 'we cant toss around our regular harsh rethorics.' he was right, now realising just how scarred you were, and how stupid he is.

he just told you that if you want something you can tell him, and a mimute later he snaps at you. he turns around and gently ghosts his hands over your arms, scared to touch you. "im sorry, but you cant take that, you dont need it" he whispers, examining your face.

"you can look at me you know" he whispers. you slowly look up from the ground at his face, tired eyes. "im sorry" he whispers again. you nod, and he takes your hand and starts walking again, much slower now.

as you walked back into the castle, he slowly understood everything. you were scared to say whats on your mind, and scared to look him in the eyes. he couldnt imagine what type of abuse you went through that fucked your mind into its current state, unable to speak, say no, or stand for yourself.

it scares him, to think that someone-anyone, could do something so horrifying that made your brain unable to understand your place, so unimportent that you were ready to take away your life.

he enters his dorm and lets you in after him, closing the door after you enter. you stand there in the middle, hands crossed over your stomach as you stared at your feet. men, he remembers you saying. its not just your father, so he guessed. "sit {Y/N}, get comfortable" he says as he walks into his kitchen to make tea.