February 14, 2015
Valentine's Day
Alison's POV
Yay it's Valentine's day. Haha not. Valentine's day is the worst especially when you're in love with a girl who is engaged. And engaged to a bitch might I add. I get that she wanted to "state what's hers" but give me a freaking break. Like you can't fucking do that. Besides her being an absolute asshole she also has some serious bad vibes coming from her. Like worse vibes than what I felt from that creep detective Holbrook who tried to feel me up at the Ice Ball not so long ago. Natalie is definitely hiding something and I WILL get to the bottom of it
Because it's Valentine's day Em and I are not going out for our usual Saturday coffee because she's out with her scum bag fiancé. Did I mention how much I hate her. Ugh. The only good thing about Valentine's day is that Dunkin Donuts has those heart shaped filled doughnuts. IT'S THE ONLY GOOD THING! Also it's freaking freezing outside, it's 3 degrees Fahrenheit, 3! Plus it's snowed like 3 times this week and every single sidewalk is an ice skating rink. I'm actually debating whether or not to rent a pair of skates because that's how bad it is. Now I remember why I loved California so much. Ugh. The good thing about the snow, it creates beautiful scenes just waiting to be drawn into my sketchbook. My "sketchbook" is actually just my old law notebook, it was while I was in class drawing in this book that I realized that I wanted to be an artist. The first few pages of the thick black notebook hold some notes on evidence and testimonies but around the notes lie small doodles. After those pages are full drawings of anything and everything that I've ever wanted. There are drawings of landscapes, people, places, car, trees, building, you name it I've most likely have drawn it. My favorite drawing, though is one of the first I made since I got to Fordham - a sketch of Emily from the day I first arrived. Her flawless face, her breathtaking eyes, her amazing cheekbones, those lips, and her hair - hair that goes on for miles and is practically begging you to run your fingers through it - tied into a messy side braid making her all the more sexy. I swing my head back and forth, I was such a dick in high school and I am so extremely upset about that. If I wasn't such a bitch, A would have never happened and there's a possibility that Em and I could've been together. I'm so grateful she forgave after the horrible things I said to her, in the locker room especially. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why couldn't I admit my feeling to myself back then. I knew I liked her as more than a friend but I never could except it and I'm kinda paying the price now in way. Having to see her with someone else who she's happy with is killing me inside. The fact that THAT scum of the earth has the girl that should be MINE angers me and it's all my fault. If only I could back to that locker room when she had kissed my neck I should have turned around and pulled her in for a kiss. I should have told her I loved her. I should have told her before I had to leave, before I ran away. But I was a coward. A coward who is now so full of regrets that I can barely breathe sometimes. I just wish I could go back and change it. Change everything.
<DREAM...LOCKER ROOM>
The warm pellets of water hit my back and turn the pale white skin to a light red color. I start to sing my favorite song, "In Love With A Girl" by Gavin Degraw
"I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the women just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl" I finish.
I turn the shower knob to the right to turn the water off. The loss of the warm water makes me immediately cold. I grab the dark green towel that I had brought with me in here and wrap it around my exposed body. I hear footsteps coming towards me. It's a brunette who I've seen around school, but I don't know her name.
"Hey were you just singing that Gavin Degraw song, I love that song. It's my jam, except every time I sing it I change the world girl to guy." The brunette says smiling at me.
I just fake a chuckle at her and don't respond. I slowly walk away from her with my head down. I wish that I could change the way I sang that song but the truth is I am in love with a girl, I'm just too scared to admit it. What would people think of me? Even worse, what would my parents think? Why couldn't I just be normal?
finally reach my gym locker and speaking of "a girl", Emily is standing right in front of it, waiting for me. Our eyes meet for a second and it feels like the world stops, but then she adverts her eyes from mine and steps aside so I could get to my locker. I pull the metal tab up and the locker creaks open revealing all my clothes. I pull out my new white bra and hang a strap of it on the corner of the locker. It was a French bra.
I reach for my other towel and start to dry my hair with it. "I need to find a French family who's dying to host a nice girl from Pennsylvania." I say out of nowhere. "Paris would be so awesome." I put the towel in my hands down and let the one that is wrapped around me fall to the ground, making my naked body exposed to Emily. "Roll out of bed, eat a croissant, shop for two hours, take a nap in the Louvre, eat another croissant, shop for two hours." I can tell that Em is looking at me ALL of me, but I pretend not to notice. I pull my bra off the corner of my locker and put it in front of chest, holding it up to Em. I place right in front of my breast so she has to look at them. "Have you seen this? I got it out of a French catalogue. They have them in like every color." She looking at me, exactly where I want her to. I pull the straps on my shoulders and turn around. "Do me a favor, hook it for me would you?" She moves my hair to my left shoulder, her fingers skimming my back sending small shocks through my body. She hooks the back of my bra but then tenses, like she's debating doing something. All of a sudden her hand is on my arm and her lips touch my shoulder, kissing it. I freeze. Is this really happening? Unfortunately, she stops and pulls away and jumps back a few feet.
"Ali I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry, I'm-" I cut her off with a kiss on the lips making her stumble a little. She regains her balance and wraps her arms around my waist tightly as if forcing me to stay glued to her, as if I would leave her. I respond by putting my arms around her neck and into her hair. Our mouths moved in sync and molded perfectly together. She slowly pulls away and places are foreheads together. "I love you Ali."
<END OF DREAM>
I slowly open my eyes to see my boring dorm room. Well that was some dream. I stare at the plain white wall of the empty bed across the room from mine. I wish I had a roommate, someone to talk to about thing like this, but sadly I got stuck with one of the few singles on campus. It's so fucking lonely. I miss California and Kim. I miss her so much she was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to. God I could really use some Kim advice right now, but I know she's on a weekend vacation with her new boyfriend and I shouldn't bother her with my stupid problems. Why couldn't that dream have been reality of that day in freshman year, it would make my life a lot better. I would have HER, I would have EMILY.
___________________________
A/N: Yes yes I know this is a really late and short update I'm sorry. I've hit a bit of writer's block lately but I tried. Hopefully I'll get out of it soon. Anyway thanks for sticking with me.
Peace out girl/boy scout ✌️
Until next time...
-Christina
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Jealous: An Emison FanFic
FanfikceIt's been two years since A has been gone. It's been two years since the girls graduated from high school. It's been two years since any of them have talked. What happens when Ali suddenly transfers to Fordham to see Emily, but Emily is engaged?
