anime oneshots

it's okay ( killua x gon )

— Blood,murder

Song : Love me like there's no tomorrow-Freddie Mercury

Killua's hands were covered in dark,dense blood. He felt,his body was trembling with fear,he has never experienced before. The blood's coppery smell made his pulsating heart tighten even better,and he couldn't focus,just stared at the man he has just killed. He didn't intend to kill him,he couldn't even remember how he did it. He couldn't move,just sat there with a vastly shocked face and tried to process what just happened. He knew he made a huge mistake,and that Gon will be there in a few minutes,but he just stayed still. He felt feeble.

"Nene Killua! I bought you chocolate robo-" Gon rushed into the room,but as soon as he saw Ging's lifeless eyes glaring at him,he stopped,and dropped everything he had carried. He stepped next to his father in a hurry. He just didn't know how to react,as he held him gently "Ging! Hey,please say something! You can't do this I have just found you. Hold on! I'll get you help" His crystal tears began to stream down on his smooth face,while Killua felt the urge to run far away,to hide. He hurt his best friend. He hurt the boy he loved more than everything. The one who made a meaning to his lonely,desparate life. The one who is the most cherished reason he gets up every day. He doesn't deserve Gon.

"Gon,I-I...Didn't mean t- " Killua whispered,but couldn't complete his sentence,because Gon looked at him immediately,and with only one stare,made Killua horrified. The white haired boy knew,he was prepared for the words which were about to be said by his beloved Gon. The one who made his heart raise in happiness,and gave wings to his soul to fly. Killua wanted to confess his feelings,but the words were stuck in his dry throat,and the timing wouldn't be the best.

"What do you mean you didn't mean to?" Cried Gon,his voice broke. He was immensely shocked,but he didn't want to hurt Killua. He wanted to know the reason,the explanation,but his heart sank deeper in his chest,as he was looking in the gorgeous eyes of his soulmate,his only friend,the only one he belonged to. He was dissapointed. Instead of looking at Killua,he peeked down on his father's face. Slowly,he reached out his shaking hand,and checked his pulse. He didn't have "Y-you killed my dad" Gon shut his eyes in disbelief. Is he dreaming? Is that really the reality? His anger started to gather,altough he still,didn't want to hurt Killua.

"I love you" Said Killua with a thin voice and teary eyes. He collected all his courage to say this. The emotions were overflowing in him,he barely could keep them clear and arranged. He wanted the greenie,to know this,he wanted him to understand,that he has always craved for affection from him. And he did this,because he thought it'd be the best. And he sure did surprise Gon with his words,but made him furious at the same time.

"And is that why you thought that killing dad may..." Shouted Gon from the bottom of his lungs.

"Don't call him your dad,Gon! He didn't care about you. He hurt you severeal times,I just couldn't watch you suffer because he doesn't give a little damn about what you are doing! I want you to be happy. I wanted to make you happy once,since you are always the one,who makes me!" Screamed back Killua,his feels were in pain.

"Stop it" Gon's voice got pretty threatening,but it couldn't stop Killua. He just wanted to say anything,let it out.

"I am just a murderer,yes I made a mistake,a big one. But I could't hold it back anymore. I just need you to feel the same. To be carefree with me. I'm sorry,okay? I'm so sorry,I couldn't control myself,I-" He went silent,as his tears were unstopable. Gon's hearing was blurry,he shook his head,then glanced at his palm a little. And he instinctively hit Killua.

"I said stop" He growled. Killua's lips parted,and placed his hand on the hit's spot. He could tell,the slap was smashing his heart better than his face "Why Killua? Why did you do this? I trusted you. You were there with me,we did everything together to find him. You knew I was waiting for him since he left me. Why did you think it would make any good if you just..." He buried his face in his palms,sobbing "I don't want you here"