Starcrossed- Peter Parker

Moral of the story

                  "Some mistakes get made"

Contains: impressions of sexual nature, guilt, slight harassment

                                  +2018+

I lay in bed that Thursday night, a random movie was playing in the background as I texted my new boyfriend Sam. Sam was nice but my friends were already wary of him. I didn't see the warning signs until that night. The night where I would lock myself up and never let myself get so comfortable with someone again. I had told him so much and it was only after that night did I regret it all. The secrets and the guilt and the fear eating me up for months, especially after our breakup. Those few months where I would walk the halls and be terrified of seeing him, moments where I would look over at Peter Parker wishing I had been brave enough to pursue my love for him so that someone could have saved me from this boy. Those months inevitably led up to the time of the blip, where I disappeared walking down the halls, away from the person I had grown to hate. But as I say, it happened on that Thursday night when I lay in bed, texting.

Sam x
Hey babe, if I asked you to do something for me, would you do it?

                                                                Marney x
        You know I'd do anything for you Sammy

Sam x
Will you send?

I had looked at my phone in silence. Sure there had always been nice comments about my body but most everyone knew I never did anything with it with anyone. I stared at the message and tried to work out an appropriate answer for a few minutes before I responded.

                                                                Marney x
                            I don't really do stuff like that

Sam x
Oh Cmon Marney, I bet you look real nice ;)

His text has originally felt flattering and I had found myself almost swooning at it. But from every moment after that, even the mere thought of the words made my skin crawl.

Marney x
I appreciate the compliment, but really Sam, I don't send stuff like that, I'm sorry

I didn't know why I was apologising really, I had done nothing wrong. Maybe I was worried I had disappointed him or that by apologising, he would as well.

Sam x
You're no fun

                                                               Marney x
                  You can't say that, I really am sorry

Sam x
It's just not fair, all my friends girls send them stuff

That one message was where it all spiralled. That one little guilt trip message just sent me downhill. My friends had always scolded me for being too much of a people pleaser, for caring about others needs more than my own and that this was an issue. As I stared at the message, I felt my walls slowly crumble. If I didn't send was I being a bad girlfriend? Would his friends tease him for having a girlfriend who was too conservative about her body? Would these other girls think that I thought I was better than them? I swallowed the lump in my throat before I brought the phone back up and sent a message. One I would regret for months to come.

                                                                Marney x
                                   What do you want to see?

Sam x
All of it ;)

                                -Present day-

"So anyways, I sent the photo obviously and he was so happy, and then he became more and more controlling and possessive and I felt like no matter what, someone was trying to hide me and hide what had happened, yet at the smallest of slip ups, there they were again, another way he forced me to stay with him until he had had enough, the relationship ending with him being dissatisfied and me knowing how much he could damage" I tell Peter as the tears roll down my face.
He wipes them away with his sleeve and caresses the side of my head softly as I told my story.
"I got with him when I was going through a really hard time as well, it's why I didn't see anything bad but I guess you can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain" I sigh and look up at him where he looks down at me sadly.
"So now my dads left because I pushed him over the edge, he got the photos sent to him directly and he screamed at me for a while and then got his stuff and left, mom tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I know it is, I know I made him leave. I just wish I had plucked up the courage to talk to you before I got with him, then maybe I would've saved myself the pain" I say crying again and he pulls me into his chest.
"Marney, I don't even know what to say, I am so incredibly sorry that this has happened, I know you deserve happiness more than anyone but please do not beat yourself up for it, it is not your fault, and please don't feel like you have to bottle anything up or keep anything from me, I want to talk take care of you, I promise I will never hurt you." He tells me as he presses a kiss to my head again and I smile to myself.
"You could never hurt me Peter Parker."

We sat together for a while just letting me calm down as we watched it slowly get darker. We spoke about our classes and our pasts and how we were looking forward to our school trip.
"Are you going to come with me to get stuff for it tomorrow?" Peter asks and I nod.
"Yeah I don't see why not" I giggle and he smiles again.
We continue making conversation about what we want to do on the trip which includes nights where we sneak out and explore the cities, especially Venice where the first stop was. While I was very confident about our plan, Peter was more nervous, being worried that we would be caught. He shouldn't be the one who's worried though, I had only taken chemistry this year to be near him and didn't understand everything, I just had to pray that this trip didn't confuse me anymore. As we saw the light start fading from the sky and the city lights took over the suns job, we decided to call it a night. Peter grabbed my hand and pulled me up to him before he pressed a kiss to my lips. We started to walk back down the hall of the apartment, down the two flights of stairs and then along to our apartments.
"Thank you for tonight, I'll see you tomorrow, I love you" I say and then stop, closing my eyes in embarrassment.
We had never said that to each other before and I was scolding myself for getting too attached too quickly.
"I love you too Marney" he says and I look up to see him smiling.
He gives me another kiss before I watch him walk into his apartment. I stay out in the hall until I see the door is fully closed before I start jumping up and down in happiness, a massive smile stuck on my face as I walk back into my home. I make my way back to my room and flop on the bed as I smile up at the roof. From the pain Sam had caused, I never thought I would come back from it. I didn't expect myself to open up so much to someone in fear of them hurting me and yet with Peter it was the easiest thing. Whether I wanted to believe in the whole love affair or not, it was clear that me and Peter share a connection stronger than anything, him and I are soulmates and I am head over heels in love.