To Be a Broken Smile (sequel to Tumbling Down - DM Fanfic)

Kissing Away Secrets (Ch.8)

Tyler: Ehh...I used to. My dad taught me a little.
Me: And you don't anymore?

More strange faces.

Tyler(short): Not really.

I know I'm pushing it, but I keep talking.

Me(Carefully): Why not...?
Tyler: I...just don't.

I nod, letting the conversation drop. Something about it seems to hit a sore spot.

Me: Are you okay?
Tyler: I'm fine.

His tone suggests he's not fine.

Me: Are you sure?
Tyler: Yes, Mackenzie. I'm fine.

I guess I'm not the only one hiding things.

I lean against the wall, inspecting the ends of my hair.

Me(quietly): Okay, whatever.

He turns around from whatever he was doing.

Tyler: Hey.

I look up, and he's coming closer. He takes my wrists.

Tyler: I'm sorry. I just prefer to ignore that part of my life.
Me: Wh- nevermind.

I can tell he doesn't wanna talk about it.

Tyler: No, I don't care. What were you going to ask?

I'm already putting the pieces together. His dad died a few years ago. His dad taught him guitar. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it. But I answer him.

Me(quietly): Why?
Tyler: It's just easier to forget.

He hasn't dealt with losing his dad correctly. Actually, he hasn't really dealt with it at all; he pushed it away without dealing with it. Until he does, he's going to have this hurt part of him forever. Anytime anyone mentions anything that has to do with his dad, this'll happen.

I nod in response to him. He moves away from me, but I hang onto one of his hands, pulling him back to me.

Tyler: What's the matter?

I reach out and touch his face.

Tyler: Mackenzie, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.
Me: I've heard that all before.

I'm usually the one saying it.

I pull him closer, my forehead against his.

I don't even remember the last time I kissed him this way. Or he kissed me...? Or...whatever. The kisses that make my knees want to give out. The kisses that make me forget everything. The kisses that make me crave more.

I can barely breathe. Or think. Or stay upright. But I don't care.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe's birthday is the same night at the dance graduations. After crying about Brooke leaving - and Nick and all the others - we go out to have fun. Which is hard at first, but after we all fail miserably at bowling, we get some laughs in.

My birthday is coming up quickly, and I haven't thought about it since my last one.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I keep journaling, and I gradually gain more hours of sleep. Nowhere near what I'm supposed to get, but I look more normal throughout the next week.

Maybe it's because I know what to expect. I still wake up screaming, but it's not enough to make me run out of the house.

It's June 3rd.

My birthday is tomorrow.

But it doesn't feel as exciting.