Evolution

Chapter 3

Loki sat alone for weeks after Brynja's visit during the feast. He received letters from his mother, the paper carrying the residual scent of her floral perfume. He wondered how to write to Brynja, but did not think a woman hidden in the walls could be found by his guards, nor did he know if she was even permitted to receive letters, or, for that matter, whose walls she primarily lived in. He waited, he read, and he sometimes asked if she could hear him or was watching. He gave up after a while, figuring that, like everyone else, she'd found a reason to stay away.

Her visit, however, had conjured memories from childhood of climbing one specific tree on a hill with a girl who had disappeared when he was very young, much to his confusion. He could not even recall which family she belonged to. He mostly remembered her lifting him, still very small, onto the lowest branch of the tree, a branch that, at the time, had seemed unimaginably high off the ground, and waiting for her to join him, his small hands gripping the tree trunk to keep from falling as she pulled herself up. He remembered the chill from the spring breeze and cuddling close to her as he looked out from his new vantage point, amazed at how things looked from so high up.

Months later, Brynja returned for another visit. She was once again draped in her purple robe, but as before, she sat down against his cell and tore off the hood. She looked tired.

"Brynja. It's been a while."

She nodded, "Too damn long. I tried to send you stuff, but Father wouldn't let me- seems he thought a draught of mead and the plays of Sophocles were an inappropriate gift."

Loki raised his eyebrows, "The plays of who?"

"Sophocles. Midgardian playwrite, Greek, really ancient. The trilogy I've got starts off with a man who kills an old guy on the road, marries a queen, and discovers some pretty crazy stuff about his family after years and years of being king. Unfortunately, the story also involves patricide and suicide, as well as self-blinding, so I guess Father thought it would give you ideas or something. The second two plays aren't any happier. I tried to tell him that if you were going to commit patricide, it would have been before you were in a box in the cellars, but that didn't convince him."

"So what has kept you away?"

Brynja rolled her eyes, "Ugh...I keep having to save the asses of people who don't know I'm saving their asses- Thor asked me to ask the Witch to keep his Avenger friends in Midgard safe. I'm all like, 'Dude, you're in Midgard, do it yourself' but he gets all flattery and talks about how it's stuff only the Witch can do and since I know the Witch, can I pass the message along? Well, you know, maybe I'm sick of keeping the man in the metal suit from falling off things and killing himself or making sure everyone shooting at the man with the star on his chest has terrible aim. Miraculous survival doesn't seem so miraculous when it happens all the time and they're never going to learn they can die if I keep saving their asses. I haven't had to save the one who turns green, he does fine on his own. And that scientist you messed with- I keep nudging him away from finding other things that will open portals- he's been too close too many times- of course, he's slipped my watch here and there, but I do the best I can, you know?"

Loki chuckled, "Why would you keep doing this over and over again? You are a slave to Thor and his ill-lucked Avengers and you keep saying yes. It seems ridiculously stupid to continue to allow yourself to be their lackey."

She shook her head, "It's not that simple, Loki. You've always done just whatever you want- even after all the shit you've pulled, you were just tossed in the cell, thanks to Mother. After her death, the memory of her kept you alive- one last favour for the Queen. If I step out of line, do I get to just say no? Of course not. I'm always threatened with marriage or exile if I do. I have to walk a very long way away- say, to Midgard- to avoid either of those. Which I have done, but the bigger the transgression, the longer I have to stay away. There's a reason I spent nearly two decades in Midgard over their 1960s and 1990s, a few trips over that time. I mean, the drugs were fantastic, but I didn't spend that long in the realm just to get high. Mother doesn't approve of the whole marriage or exile thing, of course, but Father's got his ways- can't have a misbehaving woman coming out of the walls and ruining his house now, can he?"

She stopped to breathe, having ranted without taking a break, and Loki realised that, in a way, she was jealous of him, "You resent this place."

"No shit."

He thought for a moment, "What would you do to leave it?"

Brynja stared at him, "If you're suggesting that I spring you and we run off to Midgard together, you're even crazier than they say you are."

Amused, he said, "You're a quick one, Brynja," he paused and his smile faded, "They?"

"Yep, they. Everybody who still talks about you, except for probably Mother, says you went nuts because you couldn't handle your big brother being king."

He leaned back against the wall and sighed, "Of course they do. And what do you think?"

She poked at the barrier at the front of the cell, "I think there's a lot deeper mess in that head of yours than just being a nutcase. Jealousy? Sure. A feeling of familial neglect and pent-up rage? Of course. The belief that you are never good enough and continual comparison of yourself to Thor and Father? Damn straight. A sense that if the world is unjust, there is no sense being just? Yep, that one, too. You were, at least the last time you were out of here, ambitious, proud, stubborn, and felt like there was nothing left to lose- a very dangerous combination." Brynja brushed back her hair, "I'm good at this, I should have been a therapist. I'd have work until the end of time just in Asgard, we're all so screwed up."

Loki watched her. He wondered how long she had been watching him to have him so well figured out.

"Brynja, tell me this- do you remember when Odin brought me to Asgard?"

"Clear as a summer sky, Loki."

"And what did they say about me?"

"Thor thought it was so cool to have a little brother. He would tell people so very proudly and when they expressed surprise, asking where you came from, Thor would look confused for a moment, shrug, and happily tell them he didn't care that you were adopted, he had a baby brother! Of course, it wasn't long before his impatience for you to grow up took over and he went off to play mostly with his friends, but he still cuddled you in the evenings and curled up with you against Mother. It was very sweet. I watched Mother handle you so gently, just as she did with us, and I knew you were one of us, even if I didn't understand entirely where you came from. Father was, as usual, rather distant, in the child-rearing, but he did take an interest in teaching you both. He just had no idea what to do when it came to feeding us, or how to play, or when we needed to change our clothes. You were treated well, Loki, and deeply loved, until you started to ask questions about who would get to be king of Asgard. It was then that Father backed off. I saw far more once I was living in the walls."

Loki was confused, "Brynja, you've been speaking this whole time as though our families are the same...who are you?"

Brynja's hands flew to cover her mouth, "Oh my god, you don't remember, do you?" Loki shook his head, "I'm Odin and Frigga's only daughter...you must have been too little to understand who I was when I was locked away. I'm so sorry, I thought you knew."

Loki started to speak again when Brynja heard a door open in the distance and tossed her hood back up, scurrying to her feet, "Until we meet again..." she said, giving a short bow as she hurried back out the way she had came.

Loki sat down on his bed and stared at where she had been standing, "A somewhat sister?" he asked out-loud, wondering if a completely unrelated person could really be a sibling if one never felt a family bond to them. After much thought, he decided he would rather keep her as a possible friend, rather than family. It would be easier to stay angry at Odin and Thor that way.