Secret Lovers // N.H.

Chapter Seven

“I’m a failure! I shouldn’t be acting this way. This isn’t suppose to happen every f*****g time!” Niall’s palms are tightly pressed on his face, covering his beautiful features from me. I sigh, running my hand up and down his back in a soothing motion. The barely hearable screams of the fans echo through the room.

It’s another night at another concert, with Niall’s nerves getting the best of him once again. I’m worried about him, a feeling very normal to me after so many of these situations happening so frequently. It’s also overwhelming to know that he’s capable of pushing these feelings of not being good enough away but instead he gets trapped in them every time, and every time it happens, I’m here to help. I'm thankful for it, something I will never regret doing.

“Just breathe.” I comment. After so many times of being in the same situation, I always end up saying the same word. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to it coming from my mouth, or maybe it’s because it’s the only word that seems to help Niall out, even if it only helps a tiny bit. It’s a simple word, yet so much meaning can come out of it.

            As my hands keep making slow motions on his back, I look around the room. It looks so familiar with its contents and the reason we’re here. It’s even funny to think that we travel to different cities yet every time there’s always a green room with similar features.

Niall let’s out another frustrated groan and I grab his hands in mind, uncovering his beautiful blue eyes from the grasp of his pale palms.

“Niall, this is getting out hand. Maybe, maybe you need professional help or…” I start to suggest, but as soon as I say the words, Niall interrupts me.

“No! I don’t need a shrink. I…. I…. I need you, only you.” His eyes bore into mine with so much sincerity I can’t help but nod my head in understanding. It’s true; I would be here with him, no matter the circumstances, until the day that he did not want me. I can’t say the same for me though, because I’ll always want him, I’ll always need him in my life.

Without thinking about it, I grab a fistful of his white shirt and pull him towards me in an embrace. My hands reach the back of his neck, pressing his head on the crook of my neck.

“I will always be here, always.” I whisper in his ear. I can also feel his heart beating faster than usual and I can’t help but wonder if it is for me or because of his nerves. I am mostly certain that it is a cause of his nerves but I can’t help and wish that I were the one causing him these feelings.

Suddenly, he let’s go of my waist were his hands were carefully clinging onto my own clothes and parts his head from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. They’re glistening, as if he’s fighting back tears and I can’t help but reach and cup his rosy cheek with my hand. Seeing Niall in any sort of pain causes me extreme discomfort and all I want to do is make it go away. He’s always so carefree and seeing him with any other expression than that makes me want to make it disappear. And I know I am no magician, but I can’t help and try.

In an instant, his eyes turn dark blue and I feel taken aback.

“Will you help me?” He asks. His voice sounding more hoarse and more demanding than usual.

“Always.” I say sternly. Our eyes won’t break contact and there’s this sort of electricity surfacing through the air that was not so prominent until now since our faces are only inches away from each other.

It seems like we are in the same position for hours, my hands becoming sweaty in anticipation, my mind surfacing through how delicate and beautiful he looks from up close. Without a second thought, his lips are on my own, moving in a rapid rhythm that’s taken my ability to think properly. I don’t know who went for the kiss first but right now, that’s the least important thing.