Secret Lovers // N.H.

Chapter Fourteen

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END

Niall didn’t sleep at the cabin that night.

Right after he walked away from Liam and I at the beach angrily, I didn’t see him again. I did try to stay away as much as possible though, particularly because I did not want a repeat of all the yelling and fighting, which I knew would happen if we were in close proximity. There were so many things I wanted to get out of my chest, and I figured he did too, but yelling at each other was not a way to do it. That’s the main reason I decided to pack my bags and go home to Ireland. Going back to the tour with Niall and the rest of the boys would just be awkward and quite frankly, I really didn’t want to be near Niall for once.

I needed to clear my head and think about what I wanted to do and what I wanted to say. Back at the beach we misinterpreted each other’s words and clearly made a bigger mess than already was. I knew I was the one who ruined everything this time, but Niall had some past things that contributed to the mess as well.  

But at least the kiss with Liam was cleared out.

A couple minutes after Niall entered the cabin, I sat down on the sand with Liam and explained that the kiss was an impulse that I really regretted doing, solemnly because we did not have feelings for each other in that way. Sure, I knew he will one day make a girl very happy, but to me, he’s always been a best friend, a brother if you must, and just someone who is easy going and a really, really good listener, not a lover. When I kissed him, I misunderstood both feelings, mixing them with each other and the anger. Liam was very understanding about it, just as I knew he would be. He understood that it was a mistake and even agreed about the mild separation between Niall and I, saying it would do us good, but that we should eventually make-up because he wanted to be a best man at our wedding. I chuckled at his response and agreed, telling him that I will always try, because I love Niall and I couldn’t stop trying if I wanted to.

When the rest of the boys and Eleanor got back from the carnival, it was quite awkward as everyone got on track about what was going on, most of them wondering if everything was alright or not, but eventually everyone acted themselves for the remaining of time, trying to pretend that everything was all right like the great friends they are.

Since it was already quite late by that time, when I went back into the cabin behind everyone, I excused myself and went straight to my room where I packed all my clothes and called the airport for the earliest flight to Mullingar. I could faintly hear everyone chatting away in the living room, but my mind kept wondering where Niall was and what he was currently thinking. By then, I had no idea if he was still in the cabin or gone, but because of his lack of presence, I figured he had left who-knows-where already.

Eventually Harry came in and told me he had gotten a hold of Niall and said he wasn’t going to sleep here tonight, so I fell asleep right after. It was also intended because I refused to let everyone know I was leaving. I knew they would find a way to convince me to stay, plus I would cry, so I told Liam to keep it a secret until I was gone and he gladly agreed. I felt bad that I was just running away from the problem and leaving everyone with no clear explanation, but I knew it was necessary.

I didn’t know how Niall felt about me leaving because I figured they all knew by now, but a very big part of me wanted to know what he would think of it.

Would he miss me?

But not only was Niall my main priority right now, there was also the explanation I would have to tell my mum when I went back. She didn’t know about Niall and I, she just knew I was traveling with One Direction for the opportunity to see new places and support my best friend. Of course Maura and her wished we would date. They would always comment about how we were perfect for each other because our families were close, and how they couldn’t wait to plan our wedding.