Puppet Master

Suddenly

"I feel like we should have expected this," Asa sighed, rubbing his temple between two fingers.

Currently he was sitting in the commons of Class 1-A's dorm after receiving a rather disturbing and urgent call from Shouta in the middle of the night.

-----

'We need you at UA now.'

'What's wrong? Did something happen to Izuku or Eijiro?'

'Izuku just tried to kill himself again. The only thing is that he didn't know that he was even doing it. He was walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night when I stopped him. The realization on his face told me everything.'

----

Asa glanced over at the sleeping Izuku in Yuma's arms on one of the couches.

"What do you mean?" Shouta asked.

"I'm a therapist and psychiatrist, Shouta, and I work with a lot of heroes who have severe trauma and depression due to the line of work," Asa started. "I should have expected recession to happen to Izuku as well but I was caught up in the hustle and bustle and it is entirely my fault for overlooking this considering my profession. If you ask a person who has recovered from depression you will often hear them say something along the lines of 'I missed the feeling.' Now, that isn't to say that they missed feeling depressed, only that they had gotten so used to it that it was weird and strange to live life without all of the baggage. Izuku has only just started to untangle himself from the world of fear and trauma which is a whole new experience for him. That constant fear is something that not only has made a home in him but Izuku has found a home in it as well. His constant paranoia was by all means how he was able to survive the years of abuse and life on the streets. It was familiar. Now that he has begun to leave that darkness, so to say, to him it is as though there is something missing. When this happens with depression patients it is very easy for them to backslide back into depression purely because they know how to handle their depression and it is during those times that they need to be even more carefully monitored in their mental state because of how much harder the fall will be when they think the therapy is not working. Izuku's case is a bit different. After finally allowing himself to let some of his fear go, Izuku was chased down and kidnapped by Ms. Midoriya who, I feel, is the one thing in life Izuku will never fully be able to move past. As a child you more or less imprint on your parental figure. It was a shame his was that woman but that initial imprint is what formed Izuku's fragile mind. Being kidnapped by villains is traumatic already, her presence and whatever happened during their few days of captivity added to the stress. In the time that we needed to act steadily to keep him from backsliding we couldn't and Izuku is more or less unconsciously trying to find his way back to that familiar feeling of fear and trauma because he knows how to control and handle it."

Asa took a deep breath.

"Considering what you said about Izuku being unaware that he was trying to kill himself again and his own shock of it, I don't think he necessarily wants to go back to that traumatized state, he is simply following his habitual instincts which sadly means he habitually recognizes pain as something not necessarily good but definitely a place where I think he feels like he belongs. However, I am not too worried about it, honestly. Izuku was afraid of what he was doing on instinct which tells us that he doesn't like that place and has found more joy or comfort in the new 'light' we have shown him. I think that the only thing we can do is to keep him away from that state of mind as much as possible and keep him integrated into the light. I know that being a hero means he will always be confronted with a fight or danger of some sort but it is also helpful to remember that Izuku created Golden Whip as a way to preserve the small bit of health in his psychological state so fighting won't necessarily be detrimental to his mental health. Now, if another villain attack happens unplanned or he is kidnapped again or something, I cannot say the same. We just have to hope that doesn't happen again," Asa chuckled dryly.