𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 ( 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦𝘴 )

. . . 𝑻𝑾𝑬𝑵𝑻𝒀-𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬. "𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟"

( LOVE AGAIN )
( chapter twenty-three ! )
( ❝ lying to myself ❞ )

🌷💞🌸🐷🎀🌺
━━━━ 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 !

     THINGS WERE QUIET and Leilani was not entirely sure why. The concert ended over an hour ago and the drive with Tom back to her apartment actually did not take too long. However, the conversation in the car was much more mundane than usual.

     They had stepped through the front door of her apartment and she could already feel some sort of awkward tension rising.

     "Hey," She said softly, grabbing Tom's attention. "Is everything okay?"

     "You still love him," The words didn't come out as a question, it was said as a simple statement. And they hadn't come out malicious or angrily either, instead they seemed a little sad.

     Hearing Tom say those words slightly stunned her, but for some reason, they made sense, because she immediately knew the "him" that he was referring to in his statement.

     She desperately wanted to shake her head and tell him that his words were wrong and she did not still love Harry in the way that Tom was referring to. However, saying no didn't feel like the right thing to say.

     Instead, she ultimately settled on muttering out a small, "I'm sorry."

     The immediate saddened expression that took over Tom's features made Leilani want to take back her previous statement. But, she knew that she couldn't because the words were true and the damage was already done.

     "Why? How? I really don't even know what to say," Tom responded with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

     Leilani wanted to say something to him, offer some sort of explanation, but she couldn't think of the right thing to say, or anything to say, for that matter. Every single unresolved emotion and feeling she had for Harry, which she had been pushing away for such a long time, was now running through her mind, making it feel like a completely scattered mess.

     "I think I've been lying to myself and avoiding the truth for a long time. I convinced myself that I was truly over everything with Harry, but now I realize that actually isn't the truth. And I know this is not fair to you at all, and I'm so sorry. I hate that this is happening like this," Leilani explained, her words coming out slightly rushed because she was trying to say everything that she was feeling at that moment.

     Tom did not say anything in reply to that for a while, but he didn't need to because Leilani could clearly see how hurt he was, and she absolutely hated that she caused that.

     After what felt like forever, he finally began speaking. "I'm gonna go. I can't be here anymore."

     Before Leilani could respond to his words in any way, he was already walking away from her, going to grab the things he had in her bedroom and his other things that were scattered about the rest of the apartment.

     Crying for the second time in one night was not something that Leilani wanted to do, but she couldn't fight the tears that were upsettingly threatening to spill. This all just felt so unfair, mainly to Tom but also to her too. It had been two years since the break up with Harry, she should've been completely over everything; people had gotten over their exes much quicker than that. But, she hadn't. And she knew Harry hadn't either, at least that was what the last proper conversation they had with one another back in Malibu told her.