Virago - Ivar The Boneless

Close to Death

Little Bear stood on the boat, she was at the back by a pole. Her ears pricked up at Ivar's words, he was shaming them for wanting to escape away from prying eyes but it was too late. Ivar at atop a rock, the army behind him apart from the few who were Ubbe's followers in the few boats. 

Ubbe had said it would be easier to go, to just leave and hopefully no one would notice. 

She knew better, lately, Ubbe had not been right about things and this was another thing he was wrong about. Of course, Ivar wasn't going to let them go without making them feel weak. 

Hvitserk had tried to talk to the young woman before they left. He wondered if her leaving was the right thing but he couldn't work her out for once. It was almost like she was broken like nothing mattered to her. Little Bear remained quiet and withdrawn. He thought it strange that she stood at the back of the boat, usually, she would remain close to the brothers but today was different.

The blonde noticed the exchange of looks between Hvitserk and Ubbe. Ubbe stood strong. He wasn't going to back down. She noticed the hesitation Hvitserk's face though, his eyes flicking between his two brothers before he looked at the young woman. He gave her a sad smile before looking at Ubbe one last time. 

Hvitserk turned away from them, she watched as he abandoned the ship. Ubbe's face dropped in disbelief, he felt betrayed by Hvitserk's actions. Iona's eyes were wide, "Hvitserk!" She called him back but he ignored her calls. 

Ubbe stayed silent. He didn't look back at the young woman, he didn't try to stop her as she went to follow Hvitserk but when her eyes met Ivar's she stopped on the boat. Something about the look made her want to follow his orders. She stood at the back, her hands holding her axe as she looked over at Ivar as the boat started to move away. 

She sucked in her bottom lip as she felt a tear roll down her cheek. 

Watching, she knew Ivar and Ubbe were staring intensely at each other. Hvitserk stood beside Ivar like he had a purpose. That is where she wanted to be, she wanted to be with Ivar. She wanted to stand between those two brothers, her closest friends. 

The further they got out, the smaller the crowd got. She found it difficult to see faces, they were more just shapes. "Ubbe," she called out to him. 

He looked at her, he only had one good eye to see out of at the moment due to the beating he had endured by The Saxon's. Gingerly, he walked towards her, he didn't need her to explain her actions. "I know," he said to her before giving her a small nod. 

Hugging him, she held him tight for a moment before pulling away. "I'm sorry." She turned away from him slowly.

Taking a deep breath, she jumped ship. 

The water hit her like a slap in the face. It was freezing. She had been in deep water before but not this deep and this far away from safety. When she surfaced she heard gasps but no one jumped in to help her, she didn't need it. 

She started to swim back towards the shore. She knew she could never return to Kattegat, not to be with her mother. Little Bear would rather stay here with Ivar knowing what she knew than pretend to play happy families. As she swam closer, she could finally make out things better. 

Although the crowd had got smaller, Ivar and Hvitserk remained to watch the boats travel out. 

Her arms were beginning to feel a little numb as she tried to continue to swim. The water was dragging her back, her furs were soaked and as she tried to move her arm again, she felt herself being pulled down. 

Little Bear tried to shake off her cloak, her fingers fumbling with the clasp at the top as she slipped under the water. Water filled her nostrils as she panicked. Pulling on her clothes, she struggled to find the strength to help herself.

She was tired, she couldn't think straight. 

As she panicked, she opened her mouth subconsciously to breathe but only water filled her mouth and lungs. The pain from the seawater was intense, it burnt her throat as she continued to take in more and more water. What she felt was worse than being hit with an axe, it was the worse feeling in the world yet the best, she was alive. 

Then her head switched over. It was almost like her mind was telling her it was time to let go. 

She had remembered people saying your life flashes before your eyes but all she saw in the darkness was the beautiful blue that had haunted her for so long. 

"Iona." His voice came into her mind. "You're scared."

Little Bear was scared. Scared for all the things she hadn't yet done. She had done so much yet so little. She wanted so much more, she needed more. This seemed to be it though, she couldn't just accept it. Her mind was laced with so much regret.

"Little Bear!" He shouted her name in her mind. She was confused, he'd never called her that. "Little Bear!" 

Just as the burning stopped, so did the bright blue flash of colour. 

Then darkness. 

"Little Bear," her name again before she felt a jolt then coldness on her face, like the water had left her skin but had been replaced with something else.

"Come on," Hvitserk hugged her tightly as he tried to get some air back into her lungs. 

He didn't know how long she'd been under the water for, he bet to her it felt like an eternity. "Not today," he said as he angrily slapped her back hoping to wake her soon. 

Men swam over to help him, they were closer to the shore than Iona had thought when she went under. Dragging the blonde to the land, Hvitserk fell to his knees at her side. Slapping her face, he tried to raise her. Making a decision, he knew he needed to get air into her lungs. He opened her mouth and connected his to hers before breathing heavily into hers hoping to help her. 

The middle Ragnarsson found himself in a state of panic. Little Bear was one of his closest friends, this couldn't be it for her. He was going to do everything he could to keep her alive.

"Hvitserk!" Ivar called out from a distance. He had been told of the commotion, he returned but when his older brother looked up he wasn't ready to see what was happening. 

On the floor laid Iona, Ivar noticed how pale she looked. She didn't move, she laid there lifeless. He wanted to go to her side, he wanted to tell her that he was sorry but he knew he couldn't appear weak. He had just taken over the army, he wouldn't let them think a woman ruled him.

Hvitserk looked back at the young woman again before blowing air into her lungs once again. 

Suddenly, she began to cough, spluttering up seawater as she turned on her side. 

As she struggled to clear her airways and catch her breath, she felt only happiness at being alive. Putting his hand on her back, Hvitserk sat her up helping her. "Take deep breaths," he tried to offer her advice. When she managed to sort herself out, she leaned forward hunched over as she fought to get her breathing under control. "What were you doing?"

Ivar watched on from the distance. He didn't move to try to help, he watched through narrowed eyes. Inside, he was grateful that she was alive but he didn't want her to know. 

She turned her head before looking at Ivar. She knew that things had changed, they would never be the same for her. She knew that in her darkest moments he would be in her thoughts. For a second they looked at each other before Ivar turned away again and walked away.