Anxiety Attack

Chapter 30

Finley's P.O.V

"Yeah, I, um," Eli struggled to form a complete sentence before sighing. "I hate Luke."

I agreed with this statement, as my brother tended to meddle in my business more than he should, but then again, I did get involved with him and Allie so this must be his revenge.

"We do need to talk though," I said tentatively.

Eli nodded but didn't say anything, and I felt slightly awkward as tension filled the room.

"Who was that girl that sat with you at lunch?" Eli asked abruptly.

I laughed, but there was nothing funny. "Why? Are you jealous?" I teased.

"Yes," Eli's brutal honesty shocked me. "Please, Finley, I need to know."

"You called me Finley," I whispered.

"I-well, yeah," he said, his hand going to the back of his neck again. "I thought that the nickname made you sound like a fish."

"I love it when you call me Fin," I admitted, keeping my eyes fixed on the floor.

"Okay then Fin," Eli said gently. "Who was that girl you were with?"

"Her name is Ashton," I said. "Why do you care?"

"Because," he admitted. "I'm selfish, and I don't want to share you and I didn't like that you replaced me with her."

"You don't own me," I reminded him.

"I know," Eli groaned. "But I just get jealous!"

"You had no right to be," I said. "You're the one that left me."

Eli nodded and ran his hands through his hair, looking frazzled. "I know, I know, trust me, I know."

I almost cocked my head at Eli's tone. He sounded torn up about it. Maybe... maybe Eli was as upset by this as I was. I never stopped to consider that.

"I get it," I whispered, so quiet that I was surprised that Eli answered.

"Get what?" he asked.

"I understand what you said," I said, refusing to look Eli in the eyes, knowing that that would make me start crying somehow. "When you said that I was pretending to be someone I'm not."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked.

"When we fought, I asked you why you were pretending to be someone you weren't and then you told me that I was doing the same thing. I get it. I thought about it a lot in the past week and I got it. I'm pretending to be fine, I'm pretending to be weak, by letting those bullies walk all over me and I was pretending that I didn't have anxiety attacks at school," I explained, feeling slightly uncomfortable as Eli's gaze was intense.

"And what about me?" he questioned. "What was I pretending to be?"

"A bad boy," I began. "You were pretending to be tough, and mean, and act like you hate people but in reality you love talking to people, you love having in depth conversations with them or you just like fooling around with your friends. You were pretending to be stupid and never do your work but you're one of the smartest people I know. You pretend to be a delinquent but you're just a stupid, idiotic adorable boy who likes the weirdest things," I finished.

Eli blinked before opening his mouth to speak. "You saw me get in that fight."

To be completely honest, I wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth after my long speech. "Um, yeah, I did."

"Are you scared of me?" he asked next.

I sighed, about to protest that this wasn't relevant. "Eli-"