That Little Space Between Never And Ever [completed]

♡ Part 16 ♡

Hii! Sorry that it took so long before a new part came online, but here it is :) Yesterday I got the 3k reads with this story and I want to thank you for that! I am really happy with it, but without your tips, help, motivation, support and of course reads I would never have come here. Thank you! I was a bit hesitant about posting it now because of the stuff about Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell. I did it anyway, because I didn't want to let that stuff stop my story and letting you read it! You should know that I don't agree with any of the things they have said. Still, I will never hate Lando and I will continue to support him. Hopefully they will apologize because of course it's just not okay what they said. Now nice and positive again! Hopefully you like the new part, let me know about it :)) Stay safe! Lots of love and all the best for you all xx

"How did you sleep, sweetie?" My grandmother asked when I entered the kitchen. I hugged her and kissed my grandfather's cheek. That reminded me of last night... Last night was the best night I have had in a long time. Lando was so sweet and caring, the bond between us even started to grow stronger. I was very excited and nervous, I would spend the next two days at Lando's grandparents with his family. Flo had been right when she said we might meet in person soon. Yet I was also scared and tense, what if they didn't like me? What if I am indeed not enough? "Pretty good." I answered my grandmother's question. "I'm a little nervous, but other than that I'm fine." That wasn't true at all. Yesterday night, when I was alone again, was awful. After Lando had taken me home I went to my room. I felt so alone and had no idea what to do. My fears and anxieties had been so bad, but I wouldn't have dared to call Lando. I was afraid that I would annoy him, but I really needed someone to be there for me, to hold me, to make me feel something different than just all those bad feelings... "So, Norris will come to pick you up at a certain time?" My grandfather asked. "Yes, he will be here at nine." I made breakfast and sat down next to them. My mom, Charlie and all the other family members had already left. "So there will be friends here on New Years?" I asked them. I didn't feel like being social, but of course I couldn't make it to ignore my grandparents. "Indeed! We are going to celebrate New Year with them." My grandmother told me, but I didn't really pay attention to what she said. I felt a little bad about that, she deserves better, but I just couldn't be social at the moment, I was way too stressed. Lando will be here in 40 minutes. After a few short, pointless conversations and many awkward silences, I was done with breakfast. After apologizing I went upstairs to get ready, I had 30 minutes left. I quickly brushed my teeth and fixed my hair. I put on a little makeup and left the bathroom to get dressed. My bags were already packed and I sat down in front of one of my bags to choose what to wear. After wasting some time I decided to call Chloe. She always knew how to put together a great outfit. I put my phone on the speaker and dropped it on my bed. "What?" I heard Chloe's voice say, but I would never recognize him as much as hers. She was always happy and full of energy. We had always been polar opposites. She is the happy and strong girl, while I am the sad and weak one. The only reason people don't see us that way is because I'm hiding the real me. Chloe is popular and beautiful, I still have no idea why she wants me as her friend... I went back to the bed and picked up my phone. She had never taken a note like that before. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked her, a little concerned. "Oh, so you want to tell me you don't know what's going on?" I've never heard her like this before. At least not to me. "Chloe, just tell me, okay?" I tried but didn't think it would work. "No Olivia, your Prince Charming might want to talk to you." She said, and then I suddenly understood what she was talking about. "This is about staying here a few more days, isn't it?" I said confused. Of course I knew she's not happy about it, but that she's mad at me now... "Oh no, sure not, why would you even think that?" I hate when she talks to me like that, full of sarcasm. "Olivia, I get that he is popular, handsome and interesting, but you've only known him for a week..." she continued. For four months actually, but I didn't say it because she could only get more angry. "That's why I want to stay a few more days to get to know him better and see if this is really what we both want. And we aren't only in contact, because of those things." I sounded a lot more secure than I really am and then I really feel. "Girl, did you forget that you told me about Monaco? Going to Monaco with him and meeting his friends isn't really what I see as 'getting to know each other'." She sounded really angry at this point. My mood quickly deteriorated and I started to feel a little bad. "I don't have time for this right now. 'Prince Charming' will pick me up in 25 minutes. I'll call you later, okay? I'll explain everything if you want to listen to me." I said and hung up. She's never overreacting, she's always calm and doesn't care much about things. I tried to get it out of my mind, my mind was already filled with being very nervous about meeting Lando's family. I quickly put on a very light yellow knitted sweater with small colored dots and denim dungarees. I looked in the mirror, I loved this outfit, but I was still very insecure… "Olivia, sweetie!" My grandmother called from below. "He is here!" I looked at my phone, it was 8:53 AM. "I'm coming!" I called back and quickly packed all my luggage. I put my makeup and some clothes back in the bags, along with my phone charger. For the last time I looked around the room, indeed I had everything with me. I could already hear voices as I walked down the stairs and one of them cheered me up a bit. I put my luggage in the hall and wanted to walk into the living room. Then I heard Lando talking to my grandfather. "Yes, your granddaughter is really special." Lando said and I felt my cheeks glow. "Please be careful with her. She's been through too much to get heartbroken thanks to a boy. I don't mean this to you! Believe me, she starts to glow when she says or hears your name... You really cheered her up a bit and I trust you two are good for each other. You just have to know how special she is." When I heard them talk about me it made me smile, but it also made me feel a little bad about it. I listened to them not knowing that I could hear everything they were saying. That's why I entered the living room. Lando looked up and smiled at me. I couldn't help it, but I smiled back at him. I still felt bad and really felt a lot of fear, but my smile was not fake. He had cheered me up a bit again, just by being there and smiling at me. "Hey, you are early." I said and I wanted to kick myself, it sounded so stupid. "I couldn't wait." Lando replied with a smile. I felt my cheeks flush. I looked at my feet and smiled weakly. The fear and uncertainty began to become too much. My hands were shaking, I felt insecure about the strength in my legs and at that moment the fear was really strong. I tried to focus on one point, but my eyes weren't working with me. A blur came before my eyes and not only my hands were shaking. My whole body was shaking and I could go through my legs at any moment. Breathing became more difficult, there was not enough oxygen in the room and my chest felt too heavy. Just breathe, everything will be fine, just breathe, calm down... I tried to tell myself. I felt a hand under my chin that lifted my head slightly. It was very difficult for me to concentrate, but I tried to look the person in the eye. When I finally did, I saw Lando's beautiful eyes. He looked really concerned and that hit me in a way that I've never touched before. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked me. The way he spoke, the way he looked at me, the way he worried... Did he care about me??  "I... I think so..." I muttered softly, but I could feel the tears behind my eyes. He was so sweet, I was so worried, I was so scared of falling in love, but maybe it wouldn't be long before that would happen... Tears started to flow. Lando hesitated for a moment, then he put his arms around me. First I froze, I did not expect this. Then I surrendered to it. I buried my head in his chest and tears continued to flow. The fabric of his sweater got wet. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I function the way I should? Why am I such a mess, so fucked up, a failure like this? I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself so damn much.