the secret of distance

Chapter 11

Notes:

"When I was silent,
I heard the universe.
Strangely,
or maybe not so strangely,
it sounded a lot like my heart."

—R. Jacob

"Okay! Okay! Everyone out!" Alaric yells between Hope and Lizzie's bickering that had been occurring for the past five minutes. Hope smartly chooses to shut her mouth as the twins file out of the room, leaving Caroline and Alaric alone with her.

Josie glances at her as she leaves, but she follows her sister and chooses not to say anything either. Hope thinks it's for the best. Yet, her entire body says differently, staying attuned to the siphoner's scent and her movement outside. She is still far too sensitive to the other girl despite their kiss ending minutes ago.

"Caroline, it's alright," Alaric says, and Hope swallows thickly as she can already see what's coming. "You can go talk to the girls. I'll take care of this."

"I hope you feel better, honey." Caroline pats her hand with sympathy, but Hope doesn't miss the small laugh that escapes her as she leaves the tribrid in a room alone with Alaric.

"I didn't molest her, I swear," Hope rushes to say, catching the look in his eye. She can't get her mouth to stop moving, and she knows she looks guilty as hell. "We were only talking, really."

"Listen," he cuts her off gently. "I know Lizzie tends to exaggerate things, and I—truthfully—don't want to know anything about what she walked in on, but we still need to have a conversation about it. That can wait for later, though. I think we should talk about why you're here."

The tribrid only nods, not trusting her traitorous voice for any longer.

"Before we start," he begins, and she nearly sighs in relief that they've switched the subject. "Do you remember anything about what happened?"

"Yeah," Hope blurts out in a whisper, voice quiet and withdrawn. She then regrets it and hesitates, shrinking in on herself. "I was trying to get information out of the Timor Tunores, and I guess I kind of...lost my temper."

She gulps, remembering sharp claws against her throat. She pulls at the collar of her shirt, trying to loosen it. She feels like she's suffocating. Hope holds her breath, struggling to inhale and exhale normally.

"It knew all of my weaknesses," she says finally, her lungs clearing. "I can't believe I let that thing get the best me for a second time. I'm so, so sorry, Doctor Saltzman—"

"How could you be so reckless, Hope?" he snaps, and Hope wonders how long he's been waiting to say that. She wonders how long he's been trying to appear calm when he's absolutely seething, boiling inside. "You didn't tell me or any adult where you were. You ditched all your classes. For what? Because you felt like you had something to prove? I don't understand how you could do something—something so stupid."

"I only wanted to help," she tries, but he's not having any of it.

"I was just upstairs, Hope! I was in my office!" She can't look him in the eye. "I was reading a book, and you were dying!"

She understands suddenly. Alaric isn't really angry, he isn't yelling at her because he wants her to feel bad. He's yelling at her because he feels guilty—he himself is feeling bad.

"You're lucky MG found you," he tells her, anxiously running a hand through his hair as if he's reliving the stress. "He was able to get to you in time, but you didn't wake up for days. Your energy was completely drained, so your brain decided to shut your body down. You've been in a coma since Friday. It's Tuesday. I don't know if Josie told you that. I don't know if...I don't know."