the secret of distance

Chapter 14

Notes:

"It can be good to be given what you want. It can be better, in the end, never to have it proved to you that this was what you wanted."

—Mary Renault

Hope opens her eyes slowly, feeling blissfully warm. She closes them almost immediately when bright lights hits her pupils, and burrows herself further into the blankets. Her body presses into something, and she barely thinks about it.

It takes her a few moments to realize that that something is Josie, who is cuddling into her like her life depends on it. She opens her eyes wide, wondering if she should try to untangle herself to get out or simply wait for Josie to wake up.

She ends up choosing the option of trying to escape.

At first, she attempts to push the other girl away, only really seeing if anything will happen, but Josie just makes a small sound at the back of her throat and cuddles closer. So much closer that she can feel the siphoner's breath directly at her pulse point. It sends blood rushing to her ears and a shiver down her spine, the sensation pointing her body to everything else that's happening.

One of Josie's hands is positioned on top of her leg, moving restlessly enough that Hope almost squirms as it comes higher. Her lips are also dangerously near Hope's own, and the tribrid lets out a deep breath to focus.

She tries to quell the sudden surge of possessiveness quickly, yet her thoughts are too dangerous and tempting to stray from for so long.

This must be a consequence of not shifting into her wolf for a while, she tells herself. She just needs to get up and leave, that's all.

She takes a steadying breath to concentrate once again, but loses all her resolve when a pair of lips mouth at a sensitive spot on her collarbone, likely completely on accident. She groans, loud and low. It's enough for Josie to shoot up and out of sleep.

She stands up on the other side of the bed, her cheeks pink and eyes wide. Hope sits up but doesn't get out of bed, an apology on her lips even though everything had been Josie's fault.

"I'm sorry—"

Josie ignores her, glancing to Hope's alarm clock. It's nearly ten o'clock.

"Oh god!" Josie screams, running a hand through her tangled hair. "I'm late for class!"

Hope rolls her eyes, but Josie's already running out of the room.

"Bye!" she calls after her, and hears no response. She doesn't mind, of course. She knows school is really important to Josie—she just doesn't share the same values.

After a couple of minutes of lazing about, Hope is able to bring herself to get out of bed and takes a look at the stack of assignments on her desk. She's only missed a couple of days, yet she has about fifty different pages of homework to complete. She sits down for about three hours and completes half of it, her mind easily distracted.

In fact, she is having the hardest time focusing. Any time she tilts her head the wrong way, she'll catch a whiff of Josie's distinct scent and loses herself in it. Any time she glances backwards, her eyes fall upon the mess of sheets and pillows that is her bed, and she finds herself thinking about holding Josie in her arms again.

Feeling restless and bored, Hope abandons her homework and resolves to go out on a run. She needs to shift desperately, and she has a feeling that this will go a long way to making her feel better.

She sheds her clothing by the tree line, taking one step and changing into a large, white wolf on her second step. The feeling of her bones breaking and reforming settles the anxiety that had been building up until now, and she runs mindlessly for about an hour. She has too much energy, and every minute her paws hit the ground takes away from that.

She's been on edge since waking up on Tuesday, but hasn't been able to fully admit it until now. She doesn't remember much of the time she had been in a coma, but sometimes, she feels as though her body does. The hollow of her neck still stings whenever she stretches the wrong way, the muscles of her back still knotted and tense.

Now, in her true fur, she feels fine.

When she's done, she changes back to her old clothes and visits the kitchen. Not realizing how hungry she is, she eats almost everything there and elects to take a shower. In the privacy of her own room, she turns the water to hot and allows steam to fog the mirror. She lets herself fantasize about Josie for about five minutes before she shuts the water off and changes into sweats.

Classes have just ended, and Hope doesn't want to be silly, but half of her expects Josie to come running back so they can spend more time together. Now that the tribrid knows absolutely that they're each other's soulmates, she doesn't want to waste a single moment away from the other girl.

Yet, an insecure part of her hates the thought of being clingy. What if Josie just couldn't wait to get away from Hope, and she had only burdened her last night by asking her to stay?

Shaking her head, Hope waits until the moon begins to glow in the darkness of the sky to do anything at all. She picks up her phone, hovering over Josie's contact.

[Hope 7:03] Do you want to come over?

She sends it, and immediately regrets it. God, she sounds like a horny teenager making a booty call. Hopefully Josie will understand the way she meant it.

[Josie 7:04] Sorry :( Something happened with Lizzie, maybe another night?

Hope reads the text message the second it pops up on her phone , and thinks to herself for a long couple of moments. What does Josie mean that something happened with Lizzie? Are they okay? Why did she have to be so vague?

[Hope 7:11] Sure

Hope has to physically restrain herself to not say anything else, not wanting to sound desperate. But she is. She is so desperate that she almost finds herself standing up and knocking on Josie's door herself. Yet, she can't bring herself to, and Hope only plops herself in front of her desk and continues finishing the rest of her homework.

Around nine, she's done with every page and stuffs all of it into her book bag with no care. It should have really only taken her an hour to finish, but she had constantly been checking her phone for new text messages, thinking that Josie might take back her own message and instead ask if the offer was still out there to come over. But Josie never does, and Hope turns off the light by herself this time.

She settles down into her bed, the mattress carrying only one person's weight, and wishes Josie is next to her for what must be the hundredth time that night. She goes to sleep feeling painfully, unbearably alone. Hope checks her phone one last time before throwing it onto the floor.

And although it had been so easy before, and there was a time where she was fine with it, Hope Mikaelson finds out that she does not like being alone at all.