I'm with the Band

nine

Harry

"For fucks sake," I groaned, flopping over in my bed like a fish, keeping two pillows pressed tightly against my ears in hopes to drone out the awkward noises coming from next room over.

     I'd quickly come to realize I shared a wall with Louis as whoever he'd brought back to his room was repeating his name over and over again. Actually, most of the band had brought girls they'd met at the gig back to their rooms. I think Niall, Sailor, and I were the only ones who went to bed alone. Niall had spent most of the night at Sailor's side, the two of them cracking jokes and talking with Zayn, who I'd found out was their old drummer.

When I spotted Sailor with him in the crowd, I'd instantly felt a small ping of jealousy. Did I have a right to feel this way? Absolutely not. It's not like Sailor and I were really even speaking outside of this band. She was allowed to be with whoever she wanted and I had no right to get all huffy about it...or try to flirt with her during the set. I had no right to do any of this and yet, there I was doing it.

I'd barely spoken to her after the show, instead sitting in the background of a conversation between Mitch and Liam while I kept sneaking glances at her and Niall. Occasionally, I'd catch her eyes but Niall was quick to pull her attention away, pointing something out and making her laugh nonstop. I knew she didn't feel anything romantically towards Niall but again, watching them together left me annoyed and slightly jealous.

We'd all stumbled our way back to the hotel once the last call was announced over the speakers. Sailor was kept tucked neatly into Niall's side while the rest of the group had random girls cuddled into their sides. It wasn't like I didn't have the option to bring someone back, I had plenty of girls trying to catch my attention throughout the night but of course the only one who caught my eye was sort of spoken for.

I let out another groan as I flipped to my other side, wanting nothing more than for both my thoughts and the noises next door to stop. The last thing I needed was to cause a riff in this band, especially with Louis or Niall who would no doubt kick me out without a second thought if it came to Sailor. Mitch had made this extremely clear that first day and yet, here I was, with only her on my mind.

I don't know what it is about Sailor that has completely captivated my mind. She was witty but reserved unless it came to defending herself. She had a sarcastic comeback for everything but was sure to show her love and appreciation for each of the guys at the same time. Not to mention, the lingering secret that I'd been told not to investigate only enticing me more.

I threw my covers off, chucking my pillow at the wall in front of me while I was at it. My hands ran down my face as I let out an unsteady breath. The fact that I couldn't sleep or get Sailor off my damn mind was enough to drive me mad.

I'd promised myself moving here would be for me and me only, to focus on my career and flourish. And yet, here I was, allowing another girl to possibly mess up that plan. I couldn't let that happen again.

I slid out of bed, slipping my feet into my sneakers and tossing a sweatshirt over my shirtless torso. I snagged my room key off my nightstand before throwing my hood over my unruly hair and stomping out the door.

The hallway was silent, the lack of sound almost comforting considering what I'd been listening to previously. I rolled my bottom lip between my pointer finger and thumb, my eyes adjusting to the dim lights as I searched for the sign that would lead me to the roof.

     Once I spotted my out, I shoved my hands into my pockets and trudged towards the red door. I pushed it open abruptly, the slam of the door echoing in the dimly lit staircase. I took each step two at a time, knowing I needed some fresh air in my lungs sooner rather than later if I wanted to avoid a complete mental breakdown.