Painfully in Love

Prologue

Posting it again. Unedited.
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"Maam Carmela Melendrez?" Tawag pansin sa akin ng isa sa mga receptionist ng Marfori towers.

"Yes?" Taas kilay na tanong ko.

"Maam, may dumating pong letter para sa inyo. Hindi po namin nilagay sa mail box niyo kasi kabilin-bilinan po nang nagdeliver na iabot sa inyo." Mahabang paliwanag niya sabay abot sa akin ng isang pulang sobre.

Matapos kunin ang inabot niya ay agad na akong umakyat sa unit ko para makapag shower. After magshower ay saka ko napagdesisyunang buksan ang pulang envelope.

So this is the party Chandy's talking about? My eye balls almost reach the back of my head. I texted Chandy to inform him, too, that I got this.

Me: I got the invitation already.

I sent the text. I will admit that I already said yes when he told me he wanted me as a date on a specific party. Pero saka ko lang nalaman na yung party na yun ay sa trabaho niya and he wanted me as his "trophy date" para daw magselos yung babaeng type niya. Idiot. If the girl really likes him, di niya na kailangan ng ganito.

Naputol ang pag iisip ko nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. The idiot is calling.

"Hi asshole! How are you?" bungad ko sa kaniya bago ko narinig ang pagtawa niya. It made fucking giddy and made my heart flutter. This is what he do to me.

"Hello Rose! I miss you too! So kailan tayo bibili ng gown mo?" tanong niya agad. I rolled my eyes. He always calls me Rose. Kung bakit? I don't really know. In fact, buong colleagues na namin and friends and family ay Rose na ang tawag sa akin.

"I have lots of gowns jerk. I don't need to buy one." singhal ko.

"Ang pangit kaya ng mga damit mo. Baka mapahiya ako?"natatawang sabi niya na naging dahilan ng mahabang mura ko sa kaniya. He just laugh it off. Minsan naisip ko nga baka pangit talaga ang mga damit ko sa paningin niya kaya never akong naging "babae" sa paningin niya. Kaya never akong pumasa sa taste nya.

"Dahil nasabi mo naman din na pangit ang damit ko, why not fucking attend the party alone? Fuck you and fuck off!" nang-gigigil na sabi ko bago tumahimik. I wanted to just hang up the phone. But I know I can't. I just can't. He laugh again.

"Punta ako sa iyo ngayon. Pagluto mo ako ng carbonara mo para may kwenta ka naman!" dagdag pa niyang tumatawa.

"Bakit di ka kila tita or Chan magpaluto? They're way better than me." isa pa ito sa pinagtataka ko. He wanted me to always cook for him, kahit pa madalas ay palpak ang luto ko. I was never good in cooking. In fact, Chan and tita regularly sent me foods. Maliban na lang pag out of town ako. Alam kasi nila how disaster I am in the kitchen.

"Ang arte mo. Punta ako diyan. Pagplanuhan natin kung paano pagselosin yun chiks ko. Bye!" dagdag nya bago agad na pinutol ang tawag. Umiling ako at saka pumunta sa kitchen at nagsimula nang maghanda ng carbonara.

Mula high school ay barkada ko na si Chandy. Well, we kinda started becoming friends when we were in high school. School nerd meets school jock kind of story. I was madly hoping na mag-end up kami just like the cliche stories. Nerd became beautiful, then jock falls in love. Almost the whole school expected it too. Pero gumanda na ako at naging engineer at model ay hindi pa din siya nagkagusto sa akin. Hindi pa din niya ako napansin.

But I continue loving him. Pinagpatuloy ko ang nararamdaman ko kahit pa sabi nila ay MU daw ang sitwasyon. Mag-isang Umiibig. But what I didn't expect is the pain I'll feel. The pain I will go through because of loving him.

They always say I am lucky cause even if we are not together, I am just around him. That I can freely show him my feelings. What they don't know is, it is more painful. He's near and yet so far. I am with him, but off limits.

And so here I am, both in pain and in love with him.