don't stop reading just yet

darling

Oh darling,
How I have missed you my love. It has been quite hectic.

I had to take Elio to the vet, turns out my missing sock Ive been looking for was ate by none other than him. Wonderful.

But I'm now trying to enjoy the warmer days here in England, the sun felt so nice yesterday, I just sat outside and listened to the birds chirping as the sun set and hit my face, the warmth was so wonderful for me.

If I'm being completely honest, I love the cold. But it gets a bit too much for me this year. I don't know if it's just me and my horrid blood circulation, but it was extra cold this winter and I was not a fan. But I'm so glad it has warmed up. I'm going to sound like every classic English boy, but I have missed my stupid cargo shorts. I mean come on, they have so many pockets!

But what has been going on with you love? I know I talk a lot, but I have always enjoyed what you say to me, and also how softly you flip through my pages. I think what scares me the most is that one day you will just stop turning the pages, and it will be out last chapter. It's quite sad really. I don't know how to feel about it.

But I hope you are doing well. Life has been super hard with all the melting of snow (finally) and the library has been packed. I guess every young person in town loves to have a good romance novel to read during sunny days on the stupid little beach surrounding us. But I don't mind.

I see you also have a fondness for reading, isn't that right darling? I see how hungry you are for the next chapter, but it always worries me that maybe you don't hunger for my words. All I know is I hunger for yours.

And your presence.

But enough of that.

Summer is going to be wonderful. As I told you before, England is wonderful in the summer and I can't lie when I say that people love to come here to get away from everything. I don't mind it.

Loves got the best of me, and honestly, I could not wish it any other way for me. This country is beautiful and so are its people.

But not as beautiful as you. You always give me a huge smile on a normal basis. And I long to see it. I think that may just be why I love to make ironic and quirky little jokes to you. It just makes me happy to see even the tiniest smile light up across your face and just accent every part about you. It is so wonderful.

I mean come on, look at you. Every single one of your features is just so perfect in every way anyone could imagine. I just cannot believe you truly spend your time talking and listening to me when you could just go out and find someone who can physically appreciate your features.

But for now, I will just appreciate the fact that u get to look at you and spend all the time I can with you until you close the book and come back for more when you are ready.

It always hurts me to see you go but I know you will come back at one point...

You always do anyway.

But don't take that the wrong way my love, for I just know how much you care for me and my presence and my words. I can see the thoughts you think every time you move to the next word. It is crazy to think that not too long ago you met me and now here we are, sitting and staring.

I know it is hard not to be able to hold me, but I will always be there for you mentally anyway.

For I do love you, with my whole heart. It is a wonderful thought to know that every time you skip to a new word you think of me. And you think of holding me. I see it in your eyes all the time. The longing for it. I know, it has got to be very hard not being able to. I mean, it is at least very hard for me. For I love you quite a lot.

I know I don't spend as much time as I wanted to with you, but that's okay. Because you can always start over and watch me fall completely head over heels madly in love with you. I mean, who wouldn't?

You are just heaven looking at me like that.

But anyway...

Elio and I are just sitting by the window looking out as the sun rolls down. I decided it may have been better to sit inside and hold him, I don't need him getting sand all over the house anyway. I had just cleaned yesterday! But he and his little princess of a cat are showing me the type of love I want.

If I am going to be honest, it is really annoying. Cat love is so pure and the thought that one day I may never have it hurts my heart deeply. But I know that I will be okay...

Hopefully.

I think every night I dream of being able to hold you and just feel your presence. And sometimes it hurts me deeply to see the sadness in your eyes. But that's okay, because my darling, I promise everything will be okay. I know it is hard to believe but I promise it will.
I love you in a way that is so hard to describe, but it is true. I love you so much. Through these last few pages, I feel like I have connected with you so much and honestly that brings me quite a lot of joy.

As well as talking to you while I watch Elio and his adorable cat love all cuddled up on the sofa.

I feel content. And I hope you do too.

Je t'aime, my darling
Maddi