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SHE COULD HAVE SAID NO. The lack of sleep she was enduring, the constant worry of her manager asking too many questions, the avoiding she did toward her costars was enough to have her pulling out her hair. He had told her it would be fine if she said no. She knew that he meant it, also, being that it was Dohyun. And she could say that she wasn't sleeping well due to filming, since it wasn't anything short of the truth, even if it was still an excuse. She had hardly slept in her bed since the last article came out, opting for drinking her weight in coffee and taking probably one too many energy vitamins, or even sleeping at empty makeup stations.
She felt so embarrassed. How could she had let her emotions take over like that? How could she allow herself to consume over her limits of alcohol and then run amuck with no awareness of her possible consequences. All because of a stupid boy? Well, not a stupid boy. Dohyun is smart, kind, incredible really— She clapped her hands in front of her, jumping out of her thoughts. Her dark hair had yet to be brushed. Her under eyes were growing darker with every night she lay awake. Her lips formed a frown as she pulled the sleeves to her shirt down over her hands. They were always jittery now, which was probably the caffeine's fault, or maybe the vitamin's. Who really knew?
Finally, she tore her eyes away from her appearance. She could just throw on a cap and mask, which both would hide her face well. She'd probably tie her hair back, but she didn't feel as if she had the energy. She snatched the hairbrush sitting on her sink and yanked it through her hair, wincing with every sharp tug against her scalp, forcing tears into her eyes. She felt like a zombie walking around, head empty save for the awful things floating around. Her body was almost entirely numb. Maybe she was still dreaming? Maybe all of this is just a hallucination from bad drugs? Did she even really take them?
Before she could truly question reality, she heard a knock at her door. It was still early, super early enough that most of her co stars would be sleeping away. Her head turned to the sound. She knew exactly who it was. "Aera," the voice whispered to the door. It sent chills down her spine. "Are you awake?" Tears resurfaced in her eyes, though they weren't from the same pain. She swallowed heavily. How was she going to do this? She couldn't tell him anything, even if he did promise to protect her before. She couldn't drag him down into the pit of shame with her when he has so much promise for the future. She sniffed and used her sleeve to wipe away the water at her waterline.
She hesitated. "Aera?" he called out once more in a sing-song voice. Go, her inner self hissed. Go before he changes his mind. Her feet began walking on their own accord, taking her to the door of her hotel room. She reached for the doorknob, but paused. Oh, God, she thought, resting her forehead against the thick, wooden door. He's going to ask so many questions. And he's probably only doing this because everyone is worried anyway. "I can run and get breakfast to bring it back if you don't want to go out," he spoke up, hoping that his offer would be enough for her to finally stop avoiding him.
