Hope

Chapter 14

I woke up in a hotel room. Pretty sure I slept through the flight again. I remember we were going to Norway for Viktor's funeral. I jumped off the bed half asleep. 

A shower, that's what I wanted right now. 

I went into the bathroom taking a few pieces of clothing with me. I stood in the warm water, feeling a heavy wait on my shoulder. I was finally here and now everything was catching up to me. The funeral was tomorrow, it wasn't a surprise that I didn't want to go. 

Should I tell Aless and Leo that I don't feel well?

I groaned, running my hands through my soaking hair. They'll see right through it. I had to attend the funeral and maybe get a chance to say goodbye to my old life and the old wounds that had been caused by Viktor.

I never got nightmares, but during the two weeks I had spent with my brothers, there were some days when I had woken up in the middle of the night panting and clutching my beating heart. The images flashed in front of me from the night of the fire. Flames enveloped all around me when I was in that old rotten house, and then it jumped back to Viktor's burning flesh-

I shook my head getting rid of the horrors. closing the shower I dried myself and put on one of Dexter's sweatshirts. 

When I was out Leo was already ready and buttoning up cufflinks. He smiled gently before picking up an envelope from the bed and bringing it to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, as he placed it in my hands. My eyes went wide when I read the words on it.

"Happy birthday?" I blurted out.

Leo laughed throwing his head back with his hands in his pocket while I stared at him incredulously.

 "I was shocked too, But we were supposed to give it to you when we meet you"

"When you meet me?" I repeated, slowly like a child, as if that would make it easier to understand.  "Don't tell me you waited almost a decade to give me this" I whispered shakily, examining it.

How crazy was this.

He laughed, a hint of sadness evident. "I know right, it's ridiculous, we should be drowning you in jewels and everything but all we can give you is an envelope"

"It's fine" I smiled "I'm not a princess and I don't think I would have liked pieces of jewelry too much"

"Well as long as you like it."The envelope looked very old but I'm impressed it's in such great condition. They must have kept it really safe cause even the bold letters on the front didn't fade away.

How important was this thing? 

"So should I open it?" I asked.

"Maybe after we are gone." He said 

I looked at him confused. I thought he'd be curious to find out what was inside it, or maybe he has already opened it, not that it mattered or anything, at the end of the day it's just a letter.

 He sighed rubbing the back of his neck, I could tell he was tired. The bags under his eyes were evident. "We had to make some promises," he said, "and although I'm dying to know what's so precious about that piece of paper I can't, it would be like breaking an oath."

Now I was scared to open it.

"Just promise me one thing".  He turned his fixation back to me. He looked different. He looked alert and grave. I tried to hide any unease visible on my face. 

It's common knowledge that I can't resist his authority, deep down I know he wants my word for it too, but he's softening the blow with the word promise. 

"If it's something upsetting you tell me. I can't look at it like I said"

Yes because he gave his word. So a promise in order to not break another promise. Made no sense. 

"Okay". I replied. He nodded in satisfaction, clearly at ease. We talked a bit more and I told him how I wanted to meet Jason, and it was mandatory that I have some time to myself since everything was becoming a little overwhelming. At first, he didn't he wasn't prone to the idea, so I had to guilt-trip him, Ironically I ended up feeling more guilty about it. But after being very reluctant we came to an understanding,  he'd drop me off and pick me up. I had no problem agreeing on that. It was better than having them there throughout the entire conversation. 

It was evening when we decided to leave. I dressed up in simple clothes, the cold was harsh and I had to wear extra layers to keep me warm. The envelope was safely pocketed in my coat. Amidst all the internal turmoil I had come to a conclusion, that I'm not brave enough to open the letter. So it would have to stay closed for some more time. 

 A deathly quiet silence fell around me. This is it. I fist my hands and squeeze them tighter. Everything was starting to catch up with me. I asked myself 'Was I truly ready for this?'. Though I already knew what was about to come, it didn't stop my nerves from going haywire. I'd rather keep my heart locked up in a chest than have it beat so fast. 

We ascended the stairs, quietly. No one spoke a word. It was hard to figure out what any of my brothers were thinking but I knew for an unknown reason they were feeling just as uneasy as I was. I furrowed my brows, much to my dismay I had to keep quiet. They don't strike me as someone who would talk about their problems. 

 The car ride was anything but silent. Aless kept driving but every now and then his hand on the steering wheel would tighten, Leo was silent, and Dexter was furiously whispering something on the phone in a language I couldn't understand. 

"Non voltarci le spalle quando abbiamo bisogno di te. abbiamo solo bisogno di alcuni uomini del tuo distretto. Non credo sia difficile organizzarlo"  He spoke harshly. The conversation went on and on as Leo kept giving me glances. He knew I didn't understand a word he was saying but that didn't stop him from trying to control Dexter's anger. A few more words were exchanged and we were getting nearer to the destination. The whispers were so harsh that I thought Dexter was bound to lose control. That would be terrifying. Things just kept getting more heated. 

"Give me the phone," Aless asked suddenly. 

Everyone tensed. Dexter stopped talking. He looked extremely worried, scared even. I knew better than to butt in. He hesitated for a second but gave in. He looked shameful for some reason.

Aless never looked up,  just took the phone. "It isn't your fault" he stated "You tried to handle things correctly But there's no point in trying to straighten a dog's tail, it's bound to stay crooked". Dexter nodded as though he understood what Aless meant and proceeded to look outside the window. 

My heart kept hammering. 

Car rides are supposed to be fun. 

Aless was furious but at the same time very calm. I'd never imagined my brother to look like he would go on a killing spree. Maybe it was just his authority but it made me look down and I didn't have to look up twice to know that everybody else was shadowing the gesture. 

I kept breathing in and out. Aless had been nothing but kind to me but now for some horrible when I looked at him I had only thought. He's was capable of violence. He's capable of doing things worse than I have ever experienced. 

"Talk" his voice rang with authority.  I flinched. e se è spazzatura, otterrai quello che sta arrivando per te.

I swallow I should be scared and I am.

Non mi interessa se non puoi entrare nel territorio. Farai come ti dico e manderai i tuoi migliori uomini, perché se trovo un solo graffio su di lei ti darò la caccia fino ai confini della terra.