Hope

Chapter 2

God I love this song. Lovely by Billie Eilish 

Anywho this is the second chapter. :)

"So" my care taker sighs her face was plastered with fake sympathy which would even look suspicious to a five year old. She was acting so dubious with the whole ordeal, not hiding the fact that she would rather squeeze her eyes with lemon than sit and mourn with a depressed teenager who just lost her father.

At least that's what they think he was. My father.

After the whole crime scene was wrapped up and the fire was put out, the cop who's name was Jones according to the old lady took me to the police station. His whole plan was to first take me to the hospital to get a thorough check up see if I have any injuries then to the police station which I immediately declined to. I just made up a story of how I wasn't anywhere near the house when the accident happen as to why I didn't get injured. Surprisingly they bought the act.

But only if they knew what actually happened.

An angry huff pulls me out of my thoughts. The lady who was my so called caretaker was giving me the stink eye which I felt hurtful for. Maybe sleep is way too precious for her.

She clears her throat "I'm really sorry for you loss....." She zones out giving me a questioning look. I sigh So much for being my caretaker.

"Sarahfina" I whisper suddenly remembering that my throat was still clogged and dry from all the crying I did in the car.

"Strange name" she mutters as she glares her eyes boring on the papers of the file. I felt a pang in my chest of hurt making my eyes water. My mom had named me Sarahfina and although It was strange I liked it. It was one of the only things that my mother had given that nobody could take away from me. She was a kind lady many of the reasons how I survived seven years under that devil's care. The alone thought of her giving me intangible hopes gave me enough strength to go through those horrible nights.

"So" she sighs "My name's Emma and as you know and I'm assigned to put you in a suitable foster home since both of your parents are dead" Till the last word it almost sounded she had used these lines more times than I ate. How many are there out like me. But the last words caught up with me they were very clear and hardly unnoticeable like a black cloud in a blue sky.

"One parent" I mutter rapidly correcting her. I fiddle with my hands that were covered with my huge sweatshirt hiding all the bruises. It was true my mom died a long time ago roughly when I was a month or two away from turning seven. She had taken her life by drowning herself in a river. It was a suicide case at least that's what the police said to my care taker. Back then I had overheard the conversation and though it was wrong I was too neglected by my manners. All I wanted was to find out how and why she committed suicide. I had found the former by hiding behind the doors making me think and pestor over the fact that I was the latter.

She took her life because of me.

Why wouldn't she? I was hated by my own father even before I came out of the womb. She must have pitied me and decided that I should have a life then have it taken away from me. At some point she must have gotten fedvup by being a single mother working day and nights to raise so fed up that she took her own life, but according to her, her husband my father wasn't dead they had divorced around the time when mom found out she was pregnant with me. My father left after hearing the news further leading them to divorce each other. I disgust myself. I have been ruining lives since I was born. I should have my name printed in the guniuses book for having murdered two people at the age of fourteen. First my mother then..

"Are you listening" Emma snaps her fingers in front of my eyes. I break out of the negative trance and look at her with furrowed eyebrows. Was she saying something?