Hitoshi Shinsou | Pro-Hero AU | 172732014

Here's To The Good Ones - Reflection

"Kitten, you have to leave this place eventually," coaxed Shinsou, looking around the large white empty space. He wasn't a stranger to it. In fact, it was preferable to meet here when the both of you were working long hours and needed to see each other, at least for a moment. It was your safe space, in your head, in your mind. However, you only allowed this meeting due to your current state of affairs. You were a dishevelled mess, wearing your jammies loosely on your body and your mussed unkempt hair as if you no longer cared.

Your shoulders dropped in slight defeat. You sat on the white pristine floor with your back to Shinsou, slightly ashamed of how you looked. Curse your Quirk's drawbacks. You wished you could at least recreate yourself in your mind.

"I'm not ready," you spoke, exhausted.

"It's been two weeks since the news, I get that," reiterated Shinsou while he took a few steps towards you. "But you haven't left the bedroom in the past three days, and I'm not going to walk around on eggshells when I know you already do that when I'm not home."

You breathed deeply after hearing his thoughts on the matter, your head hanging low. He wasn't wrong. Right now, his body was probably sitting on the couch just outside the bedroom - his bed for the past few days while you wallowed in the linen. Ever since receiving the terrible news of your family's loss, the shock of it prevented you from working effectively in the precinct, even though you had attempted to be as logical and as objective as possible. You were aware of the stages to follow. It was the first thing that crossed your mind, but knowing those things when a loved one had left this world felt... distant. It only supported the guilt you felt for doing so.

"I needed time to think," you explained. "I know that doesn't excuse my behaviour, but I... I just don't know how to process this... yet." That was a half-truth. You felt it in your ribcage. The past few days had been nothing but hiding away from the world for something out of your control. However, you wandered to times when you could've made time for them. You could've shared your time, shared your memories, made new ones before it was too late.

And now it was too late.

A shuffling caught your ear when Shinsou sat next to you, the image of him in your mind dressed in a loose shirt and shorts. You wondered when he must've collected his clothes from the bedroom. The days went by without any sense of time, and you only recalled a few moments he entered then exited in the same fashion. Seeing him next to you, despite it being a mental image, made you choke and swallow that guilty feeling again. You immediately looked away, still ashamed of your state, but felt contradicted about your feelings towards the depression you swam in. It felt easy to stay here, to stay in bed and not move, to let time just walk by without you.

The touch of his hand on your knee made you jump from your train of thought, feeling his fingers grip onto it firmly yet gently.

"You shouldn't be here thinking these thoughts out loud to yourself," he stated, his tired eyes staring into your exhausted ones. "You know, I've learnt to not always rely on myself as much as I think I should. You should learn from your own example."

You looked into Shinsou's eyes smiling back at you, immediately understanding that he was referring to yourself, someone who was capable of relying on others in times of need, who wasn't prideful in their actions. Reflecting on those words made you realise that you had been acting selfish lately, internally swallowing yourself in this swarm of negativity, and in doing so, pushing Shinsou out.

That just made you feel worse.

"I'm here if you need to talk," reassured Shinsou, while he watched you internally battle against your thoughts. "I may not be the best to hear advice from, but I'm a good listener when I need to be."

"Yeah," you finally spoke with a weak smile. "You don't give the best advice."

"Really? That's all you picked up from what I said?"

A weak giggle erupted from your throat before Shinsou felt your hand over his that still laid comfortable on your knee. Your fingers made their way between his longer ones before he clutched onto them instinctively. The weak smile on your lips still remained before your tired eyes looked into his. It was the first he had seen you smile for the past week.

"Can you do me a favour though?" you asked, warranting a quirked and suspicious brow from Shinsou. "Can you lull me to sleep? I haven't slept well these days. And when you do, can you come back?"

Shinsou knew your need for sleep was an understatement. He saw the aftermath of your emotions still swirling inside of you, eating away at you. The past few days had been nothing but silence when he did walk to and fro from the bedroom, but finally having this talk with you after what felt like eons was a good first step.

"You give me permission to do that?" he asked before you smiled, knowing what was to come.

"Yes," you answered, before your smile slowly faded away and your gaze drifted towards the floor in your mind. You felt relief wash over you when all control was relinquished, feeling Shinsou's hand tighten around yours.

"You know I love you," he spoke. "I do really love you." He watched as the white space slowly began to dim, as if the light that surrounded the both of you grew darker over time. Shinsou pulled your llmp body into a hug, holding you close while gently pressing his lips atop your head.

Your mind was beginning to fall asleep.

"Go to sleep. Sleep well. I'll see you soon, Kitten."