Here's my amazing Christmas story, sorry it's a bit late! Remember to vote and comment!
"Rushing through the ash
On a one guy open car
O'er the cliffs we dash
It'll leave a scar
Shiny iFlames ring
Making spirits soar
Oh what fun it is to sing
And be an awful bore
Oh, Christmas time, Christmas time
Christmas time in hell
Oh, what fun it is to climb
Buildings with a yell
Oh, Christmas time, Christmas time
Christmas time in hell
Oh, what fun it is to climb
Buildings with a yell-"
"Shut up!" Satan said furiously, and with a wave of his hand, the singing demon fell into a pit of ice. Yes, Hell had frozen over for the holidays.
"He was just trying to bring the joy of Christmas to Hell!" Beelzebub protested, a bit too loudly.
He was met with a glare, and stayed silent.
"It's hard enough spreading the message of consumerism, and I don't need a stupid caroler to mess up my concentration!" The Devil grumbled.
There was a loud commotion, and a busty redhead pushed to the two men.
"Honey, I have some hot chocolate along with the super top secret plan paper you wanted." For once, his wife Lilith's flattering body was covered by a red parka. She seemed determined to not get frostbite this time, no matter how tempting it was to wear her usual amount of clothing, little to none. It's hard to be a succubus.
"Mmm, hot chocolate. Wait a second, Beez."
After a few minutes of gulping down that delicious drink of the gods, along with a kick of vodka in it, Satan continued.
"Anyway, I have a plan to utterly decimate Christmas and all it stands for-"
There was a dramatic pause.
"Eliminating Santa Claus."
"That's the stupidest idea you've ever had, besides the Antichrist one."
"Hear me out. We know Christmas isn't about Jesus anymore, it's all about Santa and the presents. If we get rid of Santa, or at least give him a bad name, than nobody will celebrate it anymore."
"But won't people go back to Jesus if there's no Santa to distract the masses?" Lilith asked.
"They won't, they'll be wrapped up in the evil of consumerism and everyone will be like cynical grownups."
"You sound exactly like the Grinch, dude." And with that Beelzebub flew off, only to find himself stuck to the ground. A painful moment passed as he tried to tear his shoes off.
"Is this Edward Cullen's hair gel again?"
"Yeah. So are you going to help me?"
"Fine."
"Do you have a jackhammer handy?"
********
It was a cold Christmas Eve, and Santa was working hard to meet his deadline.
"Elves, we need more Apple devices!"
An elf, Mr. Cutie to be exact, called the CEO of Apple to make an emergency shipment to the North Pole. Originally, elves made toys, but since everything was being outsourced to China, all they had to do was call the companies. Mr. and Mrs. Claus had a nice vacation for most of the year, and the elves too.
