The Difference Between Us (Under editing)

"I'ɱ Fιɳҽ...Dσɳ'ƚ ɯσɾɾყ"

What does it feel like to have a lost one? What matters most is how much you cherish them. Would you do anything, even one small tiny thing, just to bring someone back to life? What does it take to do so?

Third POV

The wind, cold and chilly, indicating the season changing soon, an unusual time for winter to come on a summer July.  (Y/N) spacing out, fearing the future that holds their time. It had been a while since they felt peace and quiet around them. After all, there had been some false rumour that had been spreading on the internet for a while. At first, (Y/N) tried to not believe anyone this and ignored it for the first few days or so but only to know when the rumors started to get worse, they gave into it and everything that's said was true . Their loved ones, including Jel was not aware of what was going on and that was because they kept it a secret. Keeping this, they felt trapped and heavy, slowly developing into a deep depression.

(Y/N) had also tried ways to harm themselves behind Jel's back such as cutting or even attempted hanging but they couldn't seem to do it. They didn't want to harm themselves is because some part of themselves told them everything will get better and it will eventually, also because it was Jel special month. (Y/N) decided that they will live longer, just for him.
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Already dark outside, the moon shone brighter than the stars and the night, dead as the silence.

It was 7 in the evening where (Y/N) was sitting in their room, overthinking and daydreaming. The only way they felt at ease is when Sutopuri, a group of six singers including Jel posted something. Most of the time, the channel either posted something related to their new songs, livetstreams or even activities they do with the camera on. But whenever they finish the videos, they go back to feeling all sorts of things like sadness and regret once more. Jel, on the other hand, rarely came back home to see how (Y/N) was doing. That's because Jel was working on a new song along with Kagamine Len and Rerulili. His work made him stayed at the headquarters all night, only the need to finish the paperwork before deadline. (Y/N) always stayed up late, waiting for him to return, only to know at times he was going to stay there overnight again. But that's alright, they said many times whenever

Jel, however, wasn't like the typical boyfriend who only cares about his reputation and stuff. Although he always stays at the headquarters, filling himself with so many works including doing videos for his channel and editing, he always thought about (Y/N) day and night and he always missed them dearly. So when he finally got the chance to have a day off, it was around 1 week before his birthday and he couldn't wait to spend his time with his lovely (Y/N).

When (Y/N) heard that from Jel, they got excited but something did not feel right. They were happy but at the same time not feeling themselves once again. They felt something was missing, like a missing piece to a puzzle. They couldn't bother less, they were just happy. When Jel arrived home for the very first time, the first person he wanted to see was (Y/N). He missed them dearly and when he opened the door to the apartment, he called (Y/N) using one of their favourite nicknames. "Where is my little strawberry?" Jel said, pretending to look around when he actually saw (Y/N) in a corner. When (Y/N) heard his voice physically for the first time, they felt at ease and happy. They immediately ran out of the corner and took Jel by surprise by hugging him from behind. He felt that and turned himself around to reciprocate the hug. "I missed you so much, Jel. " (Y/N) said. "Who knows what would happen without you." they continued in their thoughts.

They stayed hugging for a while before (Y/N) broke the hug and Jel giving them a kiss on the head. They yearned for his touch the most. "I missed you too, (Y/N)-chan" Jel said softly. "I'm so sorry that i have been so busy these past few days, I promise once I'm done with this project, i will spend my every last second with you only. " Jel said and pulling out his pinky to prove his words. They weren't sure if they want to do the pinky promise because they knew it wasn't going to be easy to make this happen, and it is also because they could no longer stand to be in this world. But for Jel, they decided to stay a little longer, just for Jel. "Promised?" They asked and he simply nodded. They connected their pinkies together and for once, they smiled but it wasn't a happy one, it was one that was filled with sorrow.

After that, Jel immediately noticed something was wrong with (Y/N). He looks at them for a bit and knew that something had made them feel strange. "(Y/N), are you doing alright?" He asked, and genuinely was worried about their well being. "I told you Jel, I'm fine. " (Y/N) lied with the answer when in reality they are not fine. "(Y/N), I won't push you into telling me if you aren't feeling right but if you want to, I am all ears to listen everything you want to say. "Jel said, feeling sad while pulling (Y/N) into a hug. (Y/N) felt the words pierced through their heart like an arrow. They knew if they kept this up, it will just hurt them even more and worried Jel because he might think that they don't trust him enough to tell him what they are feeling truly. They dread that this day to come to an end fast. When it was time for dinner, (Y/N) didn't want to eat anything and drank only water for the whole night. When they slept, it was the first time they felt the love Jel was expressing to them when he took them into his arms. "Would you still love me the same even if I'm gone?" They thought. They stayed awake before their eyelids slowly take control of their vision, falling into a slumber they never knew they had in a long time.
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Days of Diary ( (Y/N)'s Diary)

Dear Edelweiss(Nickname for Diary)

It had been a while since Jel returned home. When I saw him, he looked really happy and even though his appearance looked tired and messy, i felt the happiness he was radiating through me. I have never seen him look so tired but yet when he saw me, his smile had never changed since the first time we met in highschool. But, what am I going to tell him? I want to tell him the truth but I'm sure he would find out sooner or later. Please, help me... I don't want to be here anymore.