CHAPTER 25

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TW// Emotional abuse

It was a nice Sunday morning. A rare one. A bright December sun shining brightly on the sky, swelled up with pride of being there. There were no clouds in sight and it was painted a true blue, the bluest it had been in a while. A miracle day, the oasis of winter, it was often called, as it was soon to start snowing.

Louis was tangled in Harry's arms, sighing happily. The week had been awful enough after the play cancellation announcement. They drifted through classes without that much to look forward to. Miss Maples caught an ugly cold and had been missing all week, though it was probably due to heartbreak, he thought.

The planets had alligned and his parents and siblings had gone out for a hike and a picnic lunch, leaving him home alone with his boy...friend, boyfriend... the word tasted sweet laying on the tip of his tongue. Green Day was playing on the background and he buried himself more into Harry, tracing his neck with soft lips.

Harry let out the most precious groan at the tingling sensation, after days of sadness and worries. Louis was on top of him, being all sweet and gentle, he had suited himself in his lap, dark blue eyes. He wondered, what would it feel like if Louis rided him... he felt dizzy just at the thought.

'Fuck me.' Harry almost choked, Louis words almost a wishper but so clear at the same time, a taint of need in every sound.

'Lou...' Harry held the boy by his hips, grinding him down with strong hands, a gasp leaving his strawberry lips.

'Please?'

'Oh god... I... I wouldn't know how... he never let me.'

'I didn't know a shit but you lead me and it was amazing and... wait... what do you mean he?'

Something clicked inside Louis, the way Harry talked about being hurt in the past by people he loved, the fear he had of diving head first in love, in trust, his hesitation about a relationship... he knew someone had hurt him, he just didn't know how bad.

A mix of doubt and fear was brewing in  Harry's eyes... also... shame, maybe?

'I wouldn't know where to start...'

'Haz, baby, I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me... but I'm here if you ever wanna talk about it.'

Louis held his breath, while Harry let out a long and resigned sigh.

'He was eight years older than me, he was an amazing dancer, was in the city ballet and thaught some classes for younger pupils in my studio...'

Panic flashed through Louis' eyes.

'Harry... d..did he ever... do something to y...'

'No, no, it was not like that. I caught his eye and... he caught mine. I fancied him. I felt so special that he liked me... it was innocent at first. He had lived so much more, had such interesting conversation, so many ideas about life. I don't know how it happened, but we started sort of dating, I think. I was young and inexperienced... he was my first everything, except for my first kiss, but he was my first boy kiss.'

Louis couldn't bear to look at Harry, he was telling his story calmly, like he was reading a child's book. But he was on the verge of tears, the thought of what that man could have done to break his boy's young and innocent heart.

'At first he wouldn't kiss me, said I didn't deserve it yet... and he also had a girlfriend, so that was tricky, he was also fucking half the studio, both boys and girls. Said that he had an open relationship and that love had to be free from any boundaries. At the same time that he kept telling me not to fall in love with him, he would treat me like I was his only one, sleeping with me, cuddling, taking my virginity, helping me learn about my body, but never letting me touch his, cooking for me, breakfast in bed and holding my hand in the street. He kept telling not to fall in love with him while he fucked me and told me I was so precious he might just fall in love with me. He would let me know when he was fucking someone else, but he would get mad if I went on a date with someone else. Even though we were nothing, girlfriend position was filled, and had plenty fucktoys, so I was on a strange limbo, never knowing what to do, what to feel...'

'Oh, Harry...' Louis covered his mouth with one hand, fighting back the tears so hard he might drown on them.

'Ssh... Lou... it's fine.'

'No it's not, and I'm h..here crying l...like a fucking i...diot when I should be comforting you.' Harry kissed his head, hugging him tightly.

'Right after he told me he thought he loved me, I told him I did, I did love him, with all my heart. He thaught me exactly how to love him despite everything he was. He started losing interest in me, like I had fulfilled my duty. He even started going out with a boy I told him I liked... he abandoned me in a corner while keeping me at arms lenght, knowing I would do anything for him. Having to move was the best thing that happened to me, honestly, otherwise I might have never fully opened my eyes. He still texts me sometimes, wishing me well and shit like that... I stopped answering a while ago.'

'Harry, Haz... baby. I'm so sorry. If I ever meet that asshole I'm breaking his fucking legs I swear.'

Harry laughed while Louis sobbed and rambled uncontrollably. He was so lucky to have found him. The sun going out after heavy rain.

'Lou, it's okay, I promise. It still stings sometimes... it was a painful wound, but it's healed. I have to thank you for most of the healing. The way you treat me... you are amazing.'

'I treat you as everyone should, as you deserve because you are too precious for this world!!! I hope you know you did not deserve that, that he was wrong in everything he did, he did take advantage of you and your goodness, youth and innocence, and that's not how love or relationships are supposed to go.'

'Yeah, I know, I know now.'

Harry brushed the tears off Louis' cheeks, both smiling now.

'Good, and I'm gonna make you the happiest man on earth...'

'Yeah? How you gonna do that?' Harry smirked, playfully.

'I'm gonna give myself to you, full control baby...'

'Lou.' Flashbacks of Louis in his gorgeous Julio costume were going through Harry's head, the way he was so willing and eager to please while he took his pictures.

'Fuck me, wreck me, fucking make me yours.'

Harry had rolled Louis on the bed, now on top, he held the boys' arms above his head, pinning him on the matress by his wrists. A content sigh escaping his beautiful lips. Harry thrusted his hips, his mind racing, his pulse through the roof. He went for Louis' neck, kissing and licking and bitting.

Louis was completely flushed, cheeks red, breath heavy, head dizzy with the new sensation.

'I'm not just going to make me yours, but I'm going to make sweet, sweet love to you.'

Harry's voice was deep and needy, a growl from inside his low belly. He bit Louis' earlobe, who didn't know to be this hard was even possible. He had never wanted anything this much in his life than to be Harry's right now.

__________

I was not gonna update so soon but I wanted to celebrate 1k reads!!!!!!

I honestly honestly thought that no one, NO ONE was gonna read this.
I have been enjoying writing this little story very much, there's big parts of me put in here.
Today's chapter was a tad personal.
So, to everyone who has been reading, thank you so much, this means the world to me.

I had been hinting Harry's heartbreak love past but I didn't want to make it too obvious, I hope it didn't come off weirdly.
Also don't worry, next chapter it's gonna be smutty!

Ps: I really wanted to thank Syd, who gave me the confidence to start this fic, and here we are 25 chapters in!
Thanks also to Tania who keeps me going, Pao who always has such sweet words and Sofi who is amazing and actually translating this into italian!

To everyone out there today, keep having faith in the future.

Much love,
Leo x

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