Beneath the Surface

chapter 4

TW: Suicide

JJ's POV
I walked in the bathroom only to find Emily lying on the floor. She was in a puddle of blood. There was a knife right next to her and her wrists were sliced open. I couldn't breath. I reached down for a pulse, but there was nothing. Shaking, I grabbed my phone and called 911. I didn't know what to do. I was panicking, so I called Hotch. He was the first person I thought of and I knew that he would tell everyone else. The paramedics finally arrived and carried her limp body onto the gurney and rolled her away. I just stood there as they took her listening to her blood drip from my fingertips. I don't understand why she would do this. I need her to be okay, we all do.

Emily's POV
I did it. I could not believe that I did it. I got very lightheaded and then it all started to get dark. At this point I couldn't remember why I did it. The darkness was so scary. I tried to fight it, but it eventually overwhelmed me and I gave in. What seemed to be a good while later I could see some light. I wasn't sure what it was or where it was coming from. My eyes would open just a little bit, but not for long. Then, when I could finally keep my eyes open, I could see dark figures standing in the light. Echoey sounds started filling my ears, almost like someone was trying to talk me. Then I could see.

Derek's POV
I never should have left this morning. I could tell that she wasn't happy, but I didn't think it was this bad. I never saw this coming. The badass Emily Prentiss who wasn't afraid of anything and would stand up against everything ran away. She ran away from fighting, away from life. I never thought that the doctors would get her back. Who knows how long she was laying on the floor all alone. I just don't understand why or how she could do it. I couldn't sit still like everyone else. I was pacing back and forth in the doorway of her room waiting for her to wake up. I was still scared that she wouldn't. After what seemed like forever, she started to stir. Her eyes would open then close and she was scrunching her forehead like the light was too bright. We all stopped slouching and looked in her direction. JJ, who was sitting by her head, started talking to her. Saying hey and that we missed her. When Emily finally opened her eyes, she looked empty. She panned around the room looking at all of us. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she said that she was sorry in a very tired and raspy voice. Emily's body was there but she wasn't. She had disappeared completely, almost like how a turtle would retreat into their shell.

JJ's POV
Seeing her lifeless body being carried around was one of the hardest things i've ever had to look at. I just wish I could have helped her. I wish she would've opened up to me or anyone, it doesn't matter. She opened her eyes hours ago, but she still hadn't woken up. It was like her soul left her body. I stayed by her side for a long time and she barely talked. It wasn't like she had to because Penelope kept rambling about anything and everything. Then, there was Spencer. He looked almost like he felt betrayed. That Emily was selfish and tried to steal something from him. She tried to steal a part of his family. I sometimes felt the same way, but I always stopped myself. She was in so much pain that she couldn't do it. She had to just stop.

Emily's POV
I was sad when I woke up. At first, I only felt regret and then fear. Now, I was almost disappointed that I didn't succeed. I thought that all my pain and suffering was finally over. I saw everyone looking at me with the deepest and darkest sadness I had ever seen. It makes me feel so bad that I caused them all of this pain. I never want anyone to feel the way that I do. It is complete and utter torture.

*A few days later*

I had to be admitted into the hospital and it was horrible. I just laid there and couldn't do anything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and I hadn't said anything since when I first woke up. I wanted to, but it was like my body wouldn't let me and something didn't want me to. I was beginning to think that I would never be the same again. I would never be the same Emily from before.

Sorry this chapter is shorter. I've been struggling with what to write. Suggestions would be very much appreciated. I hope you like this chapter and I'll try and update as soon as I can.