Beneath the Surface

chapter 5

JJ's POV
I have been visiting Emily as much as I can. I am still in shock that she could do something like that. I wish that I could take away all her pain and have it as my own. The doctors tell me that she isn't eating or sleeping. They encourage me to try and get her to eat, but I don't seem to be much of a help. She has this empty expression on her face like there is nothing going on inside her head. I hope that she will be able to snap out of this soon or sleep. I think that if she sleeps she will feel at least a little better.

*4 days later*

Emily is finally being released from the hospital. She slept for 3 days straight and when she woke up she was finally eating and talking; only a little bit but it is still improvement. I've missed her snarky comments and i'm glad that she has already made some. I cant wait until I hear her laugh again. I love it so much. And her smile. That's what I miss the most. Her genuine smile. Not all this fake crap she keeps putting out, but her real one where her eyes sparkle and crinkle, just a little. I cannot wait to see that again.

Emily's POV
I have been feeling a lot better lately. I can eat and sleep again, but I'm still not happy. The only time I get a little spark of joy is when the team comes and visits me. I have to put on this fake smile even though I am kind of enjoying myself. It makes no sense. I wish I could just be one of those happy people like Garcia who looks at all the happiness and good in the world. She somehow still has optimism despite the job and I just don't know how.

*2 days later*

I am finally being released from the hospital with all my physical injuries healed. I have to keep seeing a therapist, but this one is different. She actually seems like she cares and wants to help me get better. I still keep saying that I'm fine, but it's like she can tell that I am not. I keep trying to tell her the truth. It's so hard to unravel and let people in. I don't want to get anyone hurt. Then I think to myself, how could I hurt her?

After a few weeks of sessions, I have started to feel more like myself. I'm not sure if I am actually getting better or just getting better at hiding it. Either way I was finally feeling happy. I was so looking forward to finally getting back to the team. My family. It should only be one more week until i'm cleared to go back, hopefully.

I'm sorry that this chapter is not very good or long. I wanted to update again. I promise that the next chapter will be a lot better. Votes and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!