𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 - 𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧

(fourteen)

"How could you do that?!" I wince at the volume of her voice. "You hardly know the girl! Why on earth would you let her kiss you?"

I sigh. "She didn't kiss me."

Princess Siyeon glares at me and takes a step forward. She pushes me, and I trip and fall back, landing on her bed. She pins my hands down beside my head and looks at me with glossy eyes. "Is this okay, then? It was fine when she did it," she whispers, "Or is the problem just me?"

I need to move. I need to have my hands free. I can't do this again. But Princess Siyeon is straddling my hips and trapping my hands, and I begin to panic. My chest feels tight, and everything looks wrong somehow. I begin thrashing around, needing to be free. I manage to knock the Princess over onto her bed before rolling off the side myself.

And to think I thought she was starting to be a good person. I rub at the red marks on my wrists and stare at the Princess. "I'll be put to death for treason before I let you put your hands on me again," I spit, each word dripping with venom.

"Wait, Bora, please–"

"No. I need some time." And with that, I leave. I can't go back to my room, either Momo or Princess Siyeon would try to find me there. And I'm not interested in seeing either of them at the moment. So I go outside.

It's drizzling slightly, but I don't mind the cold or the rain. I take a seat beside the rose bushes in the garden and let myself cry. Everything spills forth at once. Missing my family. Hating my job. Misplacing my trust in Princess Siyeon. Momo ignoring me when I told her to stop. It's all too much. My sobbing turns into screaming after a few minutes. My chest aches and my throat burns, but I can't stop. I put my hands over my mouth to muffle the sound, but all I can hear is my own screaming and the rain drumming down increasingly harder.

I curl up in a ball, making myself as small as I can. I just need to hide.