ADVENTURES WITH ROBERT

Chapter 3

    So ya, it's been a while. I've been a bit lazy honestly but it's time for a new chapter! So ya, enjoy!

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    It's Robert!!! I was at Macy's and I was in the dress section, looking for a fabulous outfit for my date tommorow. Sadly I'm too fat, so I decided to buy a shirt and pants. Then I realised that I'm a peasnt so I bought absolutly nothing.

But then I saw her there. She was struggling to zip down the zipper on her sweater.

  I walked toward her. I got really close to her ear. "Hey Lil' mama let me zip it down."

    She looked at me with wide eyes and shrunk away. She started running.

  "BABY I LIKE THIS GAME OF TAG!!" I yelled. I caught up to her, and I believed I had accumulated boob sweat, but whatever.

 

  I held the zipper in my hand and forcefully pulled it down. I smirked at her. She had hot tears running down her face. I then noticed she was like fucking 15. I ran. I ran as fast as humanly possible, that means like the length of a house and I started hyperventilating. As well as during on the ground like a fish out of water. *me doing arobics*

  I ran to my shitty car and drove the fuck away. I just decided to go to the park. I sat on a bench and stared at a tree.

  "That's one sexy ass tree." I say aloud. The man walking toward me begins laughing. I turn to him and slap his ass. He stops laughing and slaps mine as well. We ended up doing this multiple times. I had to leave, it was so much fun. I cried. I loved him so much, Gerold, or whatever the fuck his name is.

  I drove home and entered my house to only see a mysterious rose on my couch and a note attached

'Let's hang out sometime ;)'

  I swooned. But then I kept reading...

'PS; I'm a woman'

"FUCK!" I scream, I was so delighted but my dreams were crushed. I then cried with my stuffed monkey Harold.

  I was so sad. I only can out of my house if it was necessary, but one day at the super market I saw her. She was looking through to the cereal isle. She saw me, I ran away and I began to cry.

She ran towards me and hugged me. I had to break it to her. I didn't like her. She slapped my face and yelled at me. Why was life so unfair.

   I then decided to get over her and eat a gallon of ice cream alone. In the dark. With Harold. Did you cri every tim? I did.