Debbies POV
I was worried for Tammy but I know she wouldn't want me to pry on it. As I sat in form period, my mind went straight to Lou. I had just met her yet I couldn't stop thinking about her. Was there something wrong with me?
I jumped back to reality as I heard "Debbie? DebBIE? DEBBIE?" from behind me. It was Tammy trying to get my attention. I looked at the clock, soon realising form was over and I had daydreamed the whole time and that's why Tammy was trying to get my attention. Oops.
"Yeah, sorry, I accidentally daydreamed, let's go?" I said apologetically as possible, which actually came out sounding not apologetic at all...
[...]
Lou looked better than yesterday today, wearing a maroon-purple looking suit, I couldn't tell, but it looked amazing. As she talked about which books we would be reading this year, I stared out of the window because I knew I had already read them. An inspector calls, read. Macbeth, read. Of mice and men, read. A Christmas carol, read. Romeo and Juliet, read. I couldn't think of anymore but I had most likely read it. I thought about Lou again, and her eyes and her amazing figure and her smile, and just her.
I looked at her, as she wrote up on the board how long it would take us to read and analyse the books we were reading. She said it would take us one to three months to read each book whilst analysing at the same time, so we would be done just over half way through the year and then we would do exam practice for the last few months. How amazingly boring.
The bell rang, and as I packed away my stuff, Lou asked me if she could have a quick word with me before I left. I agreed of course, I mean, what else was I supposed to do, but also because I didn't know what I had done wrong.
I threw my bag on my back and mumbled, "What's wrong, Miss?" She looked at me and sighed. "Well I noticed you didn't really pay attention this lesson and I was wondering why?"
I sighed, knowing this would happen. "Well, I have already read all of the books we're going to be reading so I kind of lost attention... I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I flashed her a smile and she nodded, letting me go. "See you tomorrow, ma'am!" I spoke as I left the blondes room.
Lou's POV
"See you tomorrow, ma'am!" she spoke before leaving. my stomach did front flips after she called me that. I sighed, knowing this would be a long year.
I stood up, picking up papers and tidying up my table, knowing if I left it any longer I would get more annoyed at it. I thought about Debbie, not even realising I was thinking about her for a good five minutes. I have known this girl 2 days and all hell has broken loose already... I wondered what will happen within the next year.
I had nothing to do for 55 minutes as I had a free period. Next class was at 12:15 and I wouldn't see Debbie again until 2pm. Maybe I would see her at lunch? I hoped I would but I'm not sure if she stayed for lunch.
[...]
Debbie's POV:
"Are you hungry?" I asked Tammy, while smiling at her. She frowned and slightly shrugged her shoulders. "Come on Tam Tam, you have to eat... I'll pay?" I told her, trying to convince her to eat. She sighed, rolled her eyes and nodded, mumbling a small 'fine' before walking past me towards the canteen. "Come on Tammy! I know something traumatic happened but you have to eat! I'm only trying to help you!" I raised my voice at her. She stopped dead in her tracks, clenched her fists whilst sighing and turned around.
"You don't know ANYTHING about help Debs. NOTHING. Every time you try and help you actually make it all worse! You don't understand what happened, you have this perfect little life all wrapped up! You have a perfect family, good grades whatever! You'll never feel what I feel!" She yelled, a small tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek. Everyone looked at us.
I shook my head. I laughed before angrily saying, "funnily enough, you know absolutely nothing about me, my life or what I feel and what I've been through so you Goddamn take that back!" She shook her head and I scoffed, walking away before I did or said something I regretted. I left the school building, barging past everyone in my way.
As soon as I left the building the tears flooded my eyes and I couldn't help but let them fall. What the fuck was she thinking. I walked to the bottom of the bottom of the playing field where the big tree swing was that the school let me and Tammy build last year, angrily pulling my cigarettes out of my pocket.
tw// rape/sa/self harm/suicide and thoughts !!
I wiped my tears, sniffing, only for more tears to fall. I had been through the same thing as her, multiple times growing up but never told anyone. I mean i understand why she would assume I was perfect but I'm far from it. My parents basically hate me and my siblings are off doing their own thing so they don't care for me anymore. I had a history of self harm and suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts. I didn't tell anyone because I was scared and I didn't know if people would believe me. Now I do with I told Tammy because maybe then she would not have said what she said but I'm probably just overreacting and she'll hopefully come round.
A couple of cigarettes and many tears later, I felt a shadow come over me. I looked up to see Lou, with a disappointed look on her face.
"What is going on?!" She half shouted at me. I stood up. "What is going on? Did you really just ask me that after what just happened on the way to the canteen?" I seethed at her.
"You embarrassed yourselves in front of everyone!" She heaved out at me. "Whatever, you're just another person disappointed in me!" I yelled before storming off. I wasn't staying here. Shoving my hands in my pockets and holding my jacket close to me I huffed, hoping this would eventually blow over.
*a/n- hi guys sorry for the late update, i'm not really sure where to go with this, if you have any ideas let me know :)*
