Debbies POV
I'd been back home for a few hours and was trying to "relax" on the sofa, the tv playing quietly in the background- it being the only source of sound and light in the living room- thinking about how my mom and dad were hardly ever home. These thoughts soon spiralled into how I thought I was okay when in reality, I'd only been shoving all these feelings down and pretending they no longer existed.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, the bright screen blinding me a little bit. I read the notification on screen.
Tammy: Hey! I'm sorry for the way I acted today, it was uncalled for, especially when I don't know what happens in your life. It wasn't my place to say those things. I know you're only trying to help and I appreciate you for that. I'm sorry again and I hope you forgive me x
Now she apologises? After acting like she knows my life and like she knows what I've been through? Telling me I don't know anything about help? Fucking bitch.
Debbie: You had no right to say what you did, you know nothing about my life outside of college and I don't appreciate what you said. All I'm doing is trying to help you and you push it back in my face. I love you Tammy but Jesus Christ that was uncalled for.
I looked down at my phone, biting my lip and contemplating whether I should hit send or not. Watching the blue line blink at me, waiting to see if I'd type more, I hit send and shoved my phone back in my pocket and went back about my thoughts.
I picked up the remote and started scrolling through the tv channels, looking for something better to watch than whatever crappy evening horror movie was on. My phone buzzed a few times in my pocket but I ignored it, not wanting to talk to whoever it was, probably Tammy.
Looking at the time, I realised more time had passed than I'd expected, and I should probably head to bed. Even though it is almost 11:30pm, I do not feel tired enough to go to sleep. Like usual, I'll just shut my eyes in hopes of drifting off at some point.
[...]
I must have got about 3 hours of sleep last night, tossing, turning and staring at my ceiling for most of it. I did my usual morning routing but this time half assed. Looking at myself in the mirror, thoughts of Lou trickled into my brain, bringing a light smile to my face even though she wasn't exactly much help yesterday.
I picked up my phone, reading the messages sent by Tammy and a few other people I was on talking terms with, but no longer cared about enough to talk to.
Yesterday 19:42
Tammy: Please talk to me? You're one of my best friends and I can't lose you.
Yesterday 19:49
Tammy: Please?
Yesterday 19:52
Tammy: I'm sorry :(
yesterday 19:59
Tammy: I didn't mean to hurt you, I wasn't thinking. Please reply...
Yesterday 20:04
Tammy: Okay that's a lie, I did mean to hurt you, but I wasn't thinking about the words I was using to hurt you. Can we just talk this out like adults???
Yesterday 20:30
Elliott: yoooo i heard what happened today, is everything good? if you ever need an escape hmu i know some good people 🤙
Yesterday 20:52
Bailey: What happened between you and Tammy? Tell me all the goss!!
[...]
Back at college, time seemed to move slowly. Every time I passed Tammy in the hallways we both looked at each other as if we were complete strangers. I really don't wanna deal with her even though it was such a small thing.
Sitting myself down at the front of Lou's classroom, I looked mindlessly at the table, wanting the world to swallow me whole in self pity. I don't care about the work right now, the worst Lou can do is put me in detention and even then it isn't the worst thing if it's with her.
[...]
I heard the bell ring but it seemed so distant that it didn't even register in my brain. I don't know how much time passed before I felt her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, tears in my eyes, lip quivering.
"I think she hates me." I choked out.
