Wandering

20|

I woke up in a dark but warm room. I hear two voices mumble to each other and my eyes flicker open. My head is pounding and my eyes are heavy. I make out two figures by the door on the opposite end of the room.
"Shh I'm trying to sleep." I groan.
"Shit you're awake?" I hear a male voice say. 

The figure comes closer and I see who it is.
"Chris? Why am I here?" I ask confused.
"Chiara what the fuck!" A girls voice shouts.
"Huh?" I'm still confused. "Chloe?" 
"Yes what were you thinking!" She screams into my ear.

I pull a confused look at Chris but he doesn't keep eye contact with me.
"My head hurts." I say to fill in the silence. 
"Yeah?" Chloe says. "Thats what you get for drinking."
"I drank?" I say.
"Yeah..." She replies.

I sit up and run my hands over my face. 
"I'm sorry. I should get home." I apologise, getting up.
"I can drive you?" Chris offers.
"Um I can walk." I say awkwardly.
"Chiara let me drive you." He raises his voice a little.

I nod in response and bite my lower lip. 
"Chiara I'm gonna go home." Chloe says. 
"Thanks for... yeah." I feel awkward. I have no words for myself.
"No problem." She pulls me in for a hug.

We get into the Chris' car and sit whilst listening to the slow hum of the radio. Leaning my head against the window, I think about my choices. The night is coming back to me. The guys did try to stop me but of course I was selfish and thought in the moment. I watch as Chris turns into the road leading to my lake.

"Just drop me off here. I need to go somewhere." I say and click my seatbelt.
"Are you sure?" He says.
"I'm very sure. You can wait here if you're that worried." I say with a sad smile.
"I'll wait here. Then I'll drive you home yes?" He says. I nod and run down to the gate of my lake. 

I grab the key from the basket and unlock the gate. I run down towards the docks. I pull of my clothes so I'm left in my underwear. I jump into the water and a squeal escapes my mouth. The cold water swallows me and I feel all my worries slip away for the time being. The water blocks my ears... silence. The water makes me shut my eyes... I can't see the demons of my life. 

Water allows you to feel the most alive. You can fly in the water but you're unable to breathe. It's a live or die situation. This for that. 

Waters a great conductor of sound.

You could scream underwater and no one would hear you. 

Peace.

The place where you feel most alive but the place that can take that life in an instance. 

I break through the surface of the water, met with all my troubles once again. I wipe the water from my eyes and down the lengths of my hear. When I open my eyes once again, Chris is stood on the dock staring at me like I'm mad.

"Are you still drunk!?"He shouts.

I don't reply and add to the dramatic irony. I use my arms to pull my body out from the water. Chris turns around when he notices I'm barley wearing anything. I pull my clothes from last night over my head and ring out my hair. 

Ignoring Chris, I walk back out of the gate to which he runs back after me. I lock the gate and my feet wander up the gravel pathway. 

"How'd you find out about that place?" He asks after we stay in the silence.
"You're not supposed to know about that place." I say and silence again. 
"What is that meant to mean. You're not supposed to know about that place." He mocks.

I give him a look and he shuts up.
"I mean that it was a private place that no one knows about. For me. Personal." I say harshly and he ends up taking the message and walking in silence. We get back into his car and he turns the heaters on. I give a half smile to thank him. I am cold.

"Why'd you follow me?" I whisper. I doubt he even heard me.
"I was worried. Worried you would do something bad." He whispers back.
"I couldn't do that. Not to him." I say.

Chris knew who I meant by him. 

Chris rode me back home and to my luck mom wasn't here once again. Neither Harry nor Tom. I walk in and go straight to the shower. I rinse off the tears stained to my cheeks and delicately wash my hair. 

Once I had finished I just tidied my bedroom and had music playing to try and distract myself from everything that happened in the past day. I had become tired of cleaning and text Chloe

ME: hey clo i'm sorry about everything last night

I waited for a response and bit at my fingernails nervously.

CHLOE: don't worry about it, i know you didn't mean to cause trouble

ME: yeah. remind me to never drink again

Once I had sent that text to Chloe my phone rang and Romeo's caller ID came up. I answered but allowed him to speak first

"Hey chi... you're ok now?" He seems nervous
"Hi. Um yeah. I'm really sorry!" I blurt out
"Chiara I understand and you don't have to be sorry. It was a one time thing and you're just acting like any other high school student would." He comforts me
"I know, I feel awful today though." I say and I hear him chuckle on the other end of the phone.

We speak for maybe an hour and I assume it's getting late because Romeo is yawning. I giggle as he tries to hide it from me. We say our goodbyes and when we finish the call, the front door opens. 

Harry's voice booms through the house.

"Chiara!" 

What now? I think to myself... oh shit.

What if he found out about last night? I would be dead. But I'm not sure how he would have gotten to know?