heather||dreamnotfound and sapnap

5

a/n : YOO IM BACK BABYYY. big announcement at the end of this chapter :)

•sapnap•

i woke up in dream's arms, i actually smiled. a real smile. i wiggled my way out of his grip and went to go get ready.

"sapnap?"

i jumped back as dream popped up behind me as i was fixing my hair.

"oh- hello there dream. wasn't expecting you to be awake" i said as i tied my hair into a little bun

"i woke up when i noticed u weren't next to me. i got worried." dream said as i turned around to look at him.

"dream. you don't have to worry about me i'll be okay."

"sapnap, come on. you're not acting like yourself. i didn't want to bring up this up but. i noticed when i picked you up yesterday for school you were pale. and then when i picked u up off the floor last night you were really light. have u been eating sapnap?"

oh god. i didn't think he would notice.

"yeah uhm i'm fine dream. really. thank u for checking." sapnap said as he left the room.

he knew he hasn't been eating but didn't wanna tell dream. dream cared about him too much. he didn't like people to be caring and worrying about him.

"okay but i'm always here if u need me. okay?"

"i know.. uhm hey dream? do we have to go to school today? i don't feel good."  sapnap said as he pulled a hoodie over his body.

"yeah yeah that's fine we can stay home. uhm are u feeling bad mentally or physically or both?"  dream said as he watched the younger boys shake.

"both. i feel really cold and there's just a lot of thoughts going through my head right now." sapnap spoke, his voice shaking.

"mhm, okay. well you don't look or sound too well so how about we just lay back down okay?"

sapnap got into bed, shivering. he pulled multiple blankets over himself.

dream took a moment to look at sapnap. he looked so broken, just not the sapnap dream knew when they were 14. he was way thinner, a lot paler,  he would shake a lot, and his eyes were always glossy. dream hated to say it but he was losing his best friend. the original sapnap being lost in the shell of someone who was always the most happiest.

sapnap fell asleep after a few minutes. dream sat down next to sapnap and just held him. he could tell the boy was having a rough day

- a few hours later-

sapnap woke up feeling sick.  he knew he should probably eat but didn't want to. he was afraid of gaining weight. he tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. instead he decided to go and steal some of his mother's alcoholic.

absolute vodka. this should work.

sapnap went back up to his room and started downing the bottle.  sapnap was halfway through the bottle

"dr- dream, give me the bottle" sapnap's speech becoming more slurred

"sapnap. look at yourself. you're drunk. you're losing yourself sapnap and i don't wanna lose you." dream said, his voice breaking as he had started crying

seeing dream cry kinda sobered sapnap. still drunk but not as drunk as he was before. sapnap pulled dream into his arms and just held him.

"dream. i'm so fucking sorry. i know i'm not doing the best. i know this is affecting you seeing me destroy myself and i'm sorry dream but i just want the pain to stop. i can't keep pretending i'm fine dream. i just can't i fucking can't anymore." sapnap said breaking down at the end.

"sapnap. what's bothering you. please tell me. i promise you i won't be mad. i just need to know so i can help you."

"dream. i know this is gonna sound selfish. but i've liked you since we were kids. i've always fucking loved you so so much. i know your so happy with george but it just hurts me so much dream."

"sapnap- i- i didn't know. i'm really sorry but i really like george. i'm so sorry sapnap. i never meant to hurt you."

it wasn't meant to be.

a/n YOOO this chapter was kinda messy but this book is just a project for me to keep me busy so i don't overthink 🧍‍♀️ but HEYYY time for the announcement

my friend is a song writer and i'm a book writer obviously. but we had a really cool idea. we decided that they would write a ep and i would make a book based off the songs :) obviously it's gonna take a while since it takes a while to write songs and for me to think of ways to make them chapters. but i hope you guys will enjoy this :]