Wrong kind of Attraction

3

Shaurya

At present

That night badi maa knocked some sense into me, she showed me how I can't put up with another abandonment not now not anymore. Though I have nothing for Anokhi, I just..... maybe like her. But that's it and I have to make sure I don't develop any kind of feelings for her further. Because she is not for me, she is a free spirited girl, she is like a bird who'll always choose sky. Who will never choose me over her dreams, who won't love me back or enough. So why stick around her and let these strange feelings grow? Instead of taming them. Why stick around long enough to let my crazy temptations take over me.

"No" I whispered looking outside the window "I am done with abandonments. I am done!
And Anokhi... she's no one, she is and has to be just another student"

A week ago

"Besides Shaurya you have to draw a line, at the end of the day she is still your student. And not everyone in our society approves of such strange relationships. But anyways you said that you don't feel anything for her and that's enough for me." Badi maa patted me cheek softly "I will find someone perfect for you."

Ok keeping this peculiar sadness, anger and confusion aside, why the heck is badi maa emphasising so much on my that one line "I don't feel anything for her" I mean yeah I don't, but that doesn't mean she has to repeat it five times in two minutes.

At present

I needed some break after that night, I needed some time away from Anokhi, who send my senses on overdrive. To rein my emotions and alarming urges. And so I ignored her for a week

You tried to ignore her...

Ughh yeah I tried to ignore her for a week. I didn't answer her texts or picked her calls. Didn't ask her questions in class even when she practically jumped to answer in today's class, didn't acknowledge her when she had some questions regarding economics. Like genuine questions, not ones she was making up to get my attention. To sum up I didn't say a word to her this whole week.

Now that I think about it, I once again feel like a grade A asshole. I need to keep my personal life away from my professional life. I need to start answering Anokhi's questions, like I answer other students' questions. She is my student and I have to start treating her like one. Yes talking to her, acknowledging her will not be easy but ignoring her and staring at her when she is not looking is not helping either. So why not at least try to go back to normal?
Maybe these efforts can help me subdue whatever I feel when I am around her? Maybe these efforts are my key to 'Normal' Shaurya Sabherwal?

"This girl has messed up with my mind" I said to myself. Or maybe not because Makhann looked at me through rear view mirror "what happened Sir ji" he asked. And I gave him a bored look.

"I'm sure I sound & act like a freak these days"

Couldn't agree more...
My inner voice whispered and for the first time I wish this voice had a physical form, so that I could slap it.

Anokhi

"Nikki" Babli Di's voice stopped me and I turned to her "take this" she said shoving a tiffin box in my hand.

"What's this?" I asked my brows creasing.
"Lunch box, I know you don't have enough to spend it on meals in cafeteria." she replied, her voice low.

I looked over her shoulder, living room is empty... for now. But I am sure her mother in law is listening. It is foolish to even think that no one is keeping an eye on us, or listening our conversations.

"Di-"

"Just take it already" she pushed my hand back "Nikki, arguments are of no use"

"Di, your mother in law and jiju won't really appreciate you packing lunch for me, you know that right? And I don't really appreciate your mother in law taunting you because" I waved lunch box in front of her "of this"

"Nikki, I'm used to all that. Another thing you should know by now" Di replied with a sad smile.

"Ohooo, you are used to it?" Di's mother in law's piercing voice made us both look at her. And there she is standing as expected she was eavesdropping "I am noticing since past few months you are getting more and more bold" she added narrowing her eyes and basically glaring daggers at my sister.

"Vineet oh Vineet puttar" she called jiju.

"Aunty no need to create a scene" I put my tiffin down one the table near me "I don't want tiffin di. I'll manage something"

"Ohoo now I am creating scene? And what about what you are are doing? Haan"

I looked at her in confusion "what am I doing?"

"You pay only three thousands and five hundreds. And eat more than four chapatis, use more than two buckets of water-"

"Mummy ji she only do dinner here, four chapatis are-"

"You shut up I am not talking to you" Aunty pointed a finger at di before bringing her attention back to me "and lights, Hey mata rani I have seen your room's light on all night. Do you really think all this worths Rs 3500 only? And now you want a tiffin too?"

Her mentality left me dumbstruck.
'How can someone have such a small heart?'

"What happened mummy ji" Jiju asked coming out of his room and looking between me and di "now what did they do?"

"Ask your wife. She packed tiffin for her shameless sister and says she is used to my taunts"

Jiju gritted his teeth while Babli di stood there fumbling her fingers "She is becoming courageous with each passing day, I guess company of her shameless sister is not really good for her after all. But no problem I will domesticate her"

I stepped forward to reply but Babli di held me back, shaking her head to stop me from saying anything. I looked at her and then back at her so called husband and mother in law, she is right saying anything further will only worsen the situation for her. So just for Di's sake I sealed my lips tight. And glared at her husband and mother.

"What? How dare you glare at me" Jiju said walking towards me but just when he was a step away from me Babli di jumped between us.

"She i-is ver-y ra-rash, don't mind h-her" She stammered .

"Then tame her, teach her that if she wants to stay under this roof then she should learn how to keep her head down" he said looking directly at me.

"And tell her that she has to pay more from now on. Five thousands from next month. She eats too much and wastes electricity and water. Plus if she wants this lunch" Di's mother in law walked to us and picked up the tiffin box "than she has to pay five hundred extra. We don't feed for free here"

"Mummy ji" Di tried to protest but jiju dragged her by her elbows.
"And you come with me" He took her to their room locking door behind them.

If I stand under the same roof as this woman and that man for another minute I am sure I will do something that I shouldn't. So digging nails into my palms I looked at the cheap woman standing before me who happens to be my sister's mother in-law for few seconds, then I picked up my bag and ran outside. With tears in my eyes.

Just another day in Chandigarh, where I leave for my college with empty stomach. Where I witness my sister getting harassed by her husband and mother in law everyday. Where I am bullied by kids of some so called trustees in college and insulted at my Di's husband and in-laws everyday.

I wipe away a lone tear that managed to escape, as I run to the bus stand.