(DISCONTINUED) Chains | Fundy Angst Story

-•> Chapter IV <•-

-•) Chapter Title: Gone (•-

-•] TW | Nightmares, Blood, Cutting, (Somewhat) Thoughts of body shaming, and Heights | TW [•-

TYSM FOR THE SUPPORT <3

The plane lifts off, leaving the place I used to call home for so long, but now I'm leaving. I happy to see myself leave this place, but I feel like I deserve what happens to me back home, but deep inside I know it's wrong, I can't just bring myself to think it.

I curl into a ball while sitting in the back of the plane. I cry softly because all my friends that I've known here could think that I just...

Left them..

These dark thoughts keep looming around my head until I get broken free by a simple question.

A fligh attendant, handing out snacks and food, looks at me on asks a simple question.

"Sir..? Are you ok?"

My mind goes blank and I fumble around to find an excuse but something just makes it way out of my head, working thankfully.

"I-oh-j-just afraid of the heights!" I say in a somewhat non believing way, but she nods and hands me some crackers.

I look at them for a solid minute, and just ignore them, as if they weren't there to begin with.

"I need to work on my weight."

I look down at my pale thin body, but it looks  like fat and weight to my eyes, which see the world different than anyone else.

I look out the window trying to keep my mind off of things, but it makes it worse.

I wasn't entirely lying when I said I was afraid of heights...

I look away and curl up into a ball as bad thoughts and ideas swarm my head causing tears to stream down my face from all the stress.

Jump off, it will be a quicker death

What if you fall and your just forgotten by everyone you ever knew

Your going to die, there's no stopping it, whether it's yourself or the plane

I stand up from my seat and walk a few feet to the bathroom where I immediately lock the door and sit down on the ground crying.

I feel like I'm going to throw up but there's nothing in me that I've eaten to throw up. I start picking at my skin and cut at it with my long and sharp fingernails until and starts to bleed.

I let out a sigh of relief, I can feel something other than stress or anxiety.

Pain

It should hurt, but it feels amazing on my skin. The warm blood hitting my cold pale skin makes my whole body feel better.

I do it some more to get the feeling, which I do but then I hear knocking on the door signaling someone is coming.

"LET OPEN THE DOOR YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I hear a man scream.

He's correct on describing you

"L-leaving now!" I respond to him nervously, but I put on a cheery mask.

I pull my sleeves over my wrists and open the door and walk back to my seat and sit down crying again.

"I can't do anything right."

"I can't do anything right."

"I can't do anything right."

"I can't d-"

"Are you ok sir?" I hear a flight attendant say, but a different one.

One again, I use the altitude lie to brush her off, buts it's a little less successful.

"J-just the altitude...!" I say with a half cherry voice.

She nods her head slowly and walks away slowly, almost like she's scared of me, or it's just my minds playing tricks against me.

I go back to my thoughts, thinking only bad things, but at this point in my life it's normal. There's usually nothing good to look forward to.

The racing of my thoughts tire my body, just enough for me to get some sleep, which even a few seconds for me is luxury, because the shorter the sleep...

Less chance of nightmares

My mind takes it in, and falls asleep wondering about what I could have done better.

"Come home, Fundy."

"I never meant any harm!"

"It's just a normal punishment!"

"Come home sweetie, we can be a H̶̟͈̿̈́͒͆̅͗̚̕̚͝ą̷̢̛̩͉͉͖͔̫̪̤̠̙̟̗͍̈́̈́̈́̄͂̽̉͒̅̐́̚̕͠p̸̨̡̛̙̠͍̟̺͎̲͙̩̫̬̾͂̅̿͌̂́̃̓̎͝͝p̴͓͕̥̮̠͉̱͎̝̥͎͙͇̊͜ý̷͇̗̠̭̭̱̈́̋͘͠ ̴̜̣̭̜̗̐́̌̚͠F̶͔̹̤̥͉̯͈̿̑̓̔͆̈́͝à̷̠͍̭͍̟͍̘̜̊͆̓̈́̀̀̈́̉̇̚̚̕͠ͅͅͅm̶̛̬̙̺̩̝̱̜̏͒̇͗̊̔̽̅̃į̶̛̯̞͊̾̆̿̇͊͌̌̅́͝ĺ̸̩̼͈́́͛͑͋̏͊̌̕y̷͕̘̹͉͈͍͈̏͒̏͋̓͘͜͝͠"

Ỵ̴̗͆ȍ̴̦̎̄u̵̟͚͗̉ ̷͈̊d̸̬͎̮̾ë̴̢̺̬̆ṣ̸͛͊́ė̸̢̝̹̓ȓ̶͈̲͍v̵̧̲͒̈́ͅḙ̶͈͈̌d̵̬̔ ̷͚͕̈́a̷̖͚̮͗̊l̵̤̳̬͑͘l̴̞̠̙̉ ̷̝̝̜̒t̶̛͇̞̉̈́h̷͖͝ͅe̶͍͊̇͋ ̸̪͊̐͘b̷̥̊e̴̞̪͌̿͛a̴̟̟̟̍t̸̤͎͑̆͘ǐ̷͙̓̐n̴̠͖̙̏́͠ğ̴̥̻͉̈́s̶̱̉,̵̗͊̉͜ ̸͎̀̓â̴̝͉̥̔̚l̴͖̋͂̓l̶̞̩͗̋̚ ̷̫̰̺̎͛t̵̫̬̑͘h̷͇̞̕ȩ̷̛͎̲͊̀ ̴̣̬͛̽p̷̤̳͑̇͠u̶͉̱̐̿n̵̻͑i̷̼͐s̵̡̟̓͆h̴̭͂m̵̝͗̓͐ͅë̶̠̦̰́̂͗ṋ̴̚ṱ̸̂s̴̡̤͛̐.̷͈̘̯̉͛̒ ̸̟͑͊͝Y̴̧̪͐͊o̸̩̟̐͝u̶̡͚͙͆̏ ̷̬̳͐͜f̴̗̐͘ứ̴͍̭c̵̱͖̼͌͗k̷̹̤̫͝e̸͍̤̣̒͆d̴̘̜̓ ̷̮̭̋u̵͚̖̓̂͘p̴͙̜̋̽̽ ̴̪̈̏̈́m̴̬̍̆ý̴̖ ̷̮̥̠͠l̵̹̱̰̂͆́ĭ̴̢̺͐͛͜f̸̖̤͑̍ĕ̸̳̞ ̴̹̼̂͑̈́b̷̖͚͕̽y̴̨̞̽̀ ̵̤̞͚̂j̵̤͛ǔ̵̻̬͈̓ś̵̼͕̮͐͐ť̴̬̦͜ ̸̪̈́̈́l̶͈̻̕ĩ̶̪͍̩v̵̧͌͋ỉ̶̅͊͜n̶̨̢̝̐͋g̸͚͍̮̎.̸̩͓̆͌̈ ̷̳͔̥͑̎̑C̴̣̦͆͆̋͜ǒ̵͚̾ͅṁ̵͙̞̉̚e̶̜̋͌͘ ̸͓͍̞̾̓̎b̴̗̰̰̉͘͝a̴̢͚͈̍c̷̡͍̐ͅk̷̤̏̄̕͜ͅ ̵̬͚͖͗̕f̵͙͌̏͠ö̷̼́͆̽r̶̻̖̋̀̚ ̴̻͆͆I̵̭̙̫̋̓ ̷̘͑̓ç̸͉̚a̵̰͑̕n̴̺̋ ̶͎̚d̷̡̥̈ȏ̸̬̫̝ ̷̹̬͙̓͐m̷̠͐̌͂o̷͎͌̈́̍r̷͉̪̊͝ê̴͙.̶̢͉͙̂̂͠

I pull myself awake from the short nightmare, just to see people exiting the plane. I woke up just in time for the end of the flight, maybe having the nightmare wasn't so bad.

Maybe I deserved it.

I grab my items and leave the plane, stepping foot into a new country and a new adventure. A new life where my friends can be there for me. It's possible that I could have fun, or even enjoy life here. I miss Holland, but maybe here will be better for me.

Maybe I can be saved. Maybe I can be helped.

"Maybe I can be broken free from these chains."

__________________

Sorry for not updating in so long!

Got caught up in writing my other stuff (Read them or die)

Anyways thank you to PeganPenguin35 adding this book the your reading list stuff.

Really, it's that small stuff that gives you the motivation. It's that thing that lets you know that people want to see things from you and that they enjoy you work. Ty Pegan

Anyways that's it for today, now follow me because I want clout and I have a gun.

Bye

Love you all

Ep~

893 Words