From LA to UK {Larry Stylinson book 1}

Chapter 46

Today the Tomlinson's and Harry go to the Christmas market in Manchester. It's early in the morning when the family takes off and Harry and Lottie are sleeping in the back of the car, both their heads leaning on the window. Louis is sitting in the passengers seat next to his mother.

"How are you doing now, love?" Jay asks her oldest child. She has been worried about him a lot. They have a good relationship but Louis would never fully open up to her. When the boy opens up, it's to his uncle. But now the woman has a feeling that there is a new person in Louis' life.

"I'm good, mom. I had a bit of a rough patch but I'm honestly doing alright now. Uncle James and Harry helped me through it. Thank you for letting me stay there, mom."

Harry helped him through it? Jay's suspicion confirmed. There is a question burning on the mother's tongue and before she speaks again she looks from the mirror to the two people in the back. They are both still sleeping and Jay takes her chance to have the talk with her son that she has wanted to have for a while now.

"So how are you and Harry?"

Louis can't help but smile when he thinks about their date yesterday. It was so perfect and being able to see Harry smile and have fun for a whole night was just a privilege. When they came back home they even played uno for a bit before they went to bed and Louis fell asleep in his arms. The smaller boy doubts if he will even manage to fall asleep without Harry by his side.

"We are good." He smiles. "Actually we are really good."

Jay nods but is not satisfied with the short answer that her son just gave her. She is looking for a way to ask him the question without upsetting him.

"I noticed you guys sleep together."

Louis' eyes go wide. He thought his mother didn't know about it. He feels his cheek go hot and red and he looks at his hands.

"Yeah it's cold during the nights and it's a habit I guess."

Still not the answer Jay wants to hear.

"So you guys went out yesterday night. What did you do? You came home pretty late."

Louis rolls his eyes, but smiles fondly.

"What do you want to know, mom? No need to play 21 questions. Just get to the point."

Jay is taken aback from her sons' answer but she will not let the opportunity slip that he just gave her.

"What are your feelings towards Harry, boo?"

And Louis should have known that it would be that kind of a question, but still he is shocked. He knows his mother is blunt but still, no one never asked him straight to his face. What are his feelings towards Harry?

"I like him." Louis admits. "And I know that it might hurt you mom and I really don't want to hurt you but I think I like him more than just friends. I really feel safe near him and I trust him with all my heart. I never had this feeling before and it scares me. I don't know what to do. Please don't be angry, mom." Louis' eyes are tearing. He came out to his mother and he has no clue how the woman would react.

"Oh, Lou. Why would I be angry?"

"Because I have feelings for a boy that I shouldn't have." Louis' hands are hidden in his sleeves now and he can't face anyone.

"Who told you that bullshit?" Jay looks at her son. She is pretty sure that she has always raised her kids to be open. She doesn't know why her son would doubt her acceptance. She would never be angry at Louis for being in love. Also as a mother, she saw the signs pretty early.

"People on the internet..." Louis whispers, thousands of comments he read on the internet under articles of people that killed this gay person in Belgium just because he was gay, come up in his head. 'He deserved it' 'one fag less' 'good riddance' 'another ass saved'. Louis had been staying up all night once reading the comments, making his own heart hurt.

"Baby the people that comment those kind of things and do those kind of things they are not fuelled by love, they are fuelled by hate. That's not the kind of people whose opinion you should care about. Louis baby if you like Harry then I don't see the problem. He really likes you too. Be who you are honey, accept yourself."

And for some reason his mother words are the last thing that Louis needed to make the click. His friends support him, his mother and uncle do. What matters most? He is so close by loving and accepting himself. He is so close to being ready.

"It's been hard, mom." Louis opens up. "It's been hard to suppress these feelings. I was doing so fine by ignoring that side of me until Harry came along. I felt immediately a kind of attracted to him. He looks really good and he is a nice person. I think that's why I was acting the way I was. I know it's not an excuse but... Mom he scares me." Louis bites his lip to hold in more tears.

"What scares you, baby? Why does he scare you? He has always been good to you, right? Did he hurt you?"

Louis aggressively shakes his head.

"No, he hasn't hurt me. He has always protected me in fact. He is the sweetest. I'm not scared in the way of 'he is going to hurt me or hit me' or something. I'm scared in the way of, I'm losing myself. I'm getting so close to him that I miss him when he is going to the bloody toilet. In two weeks he is going to LA and I won't see him for a month. Mom I am so scared about how this month will go for me. I know it sounds stupid because it's only a month but I honestly don't think I can still function normally without him. The way I feel, it doesn't feel healthy mom. It scares me so much. The thought of losing Harry makes me cry and I can't imagine him stepping on that airplane. I'm so scared because I never really cared about anyone or anything yet he just walks into my life and he makes my whole world revolve around him. Just... I don't know what's going on with me, mom. I don't know what this is!" Louis is desperate and he tries his best not to sob loudly. He doesn't want Harry or his sister to wake up.

"Love baby, that's love."