Lemon boy

What just happened?!

TW: swearing

__________

Rain pounds down on my rapid beating heart, and my backpack soaked in repentance, is weighing down on my last remaining strength. I see the lights of my house grow brighter and brighter as I inch closer.

I reach my front door and burst inside, quickly running to my room and flopping down on my bed, to exhausted to worry about my clothes drenched in regretful poison. What just happened?!

One second, I was laughing and having the time of my life, the next I was kissing a BOY and liking it, the next I just run away like a little girl! If I liked it so much, why did I run away?! Why did I just leave him there?!

I don't even know his name I just call him fucking lemon boy. I wonder if he's panicking too? How am I going to face him again?

Thankfully, it's Friday so I don't have to see him tomorrow, or the next day. I have been granted time process this, but I don't even know where to start!

My iPhone lights up to reveal a text from Jake.

Jake

"Hey bro. Why did you ditch us? And who's that boy you're with?"

  "Hey. Yeah sorry for ditching you guys that was a total jerk move."

"It's all good. Can you come over now?"

       "No sorry. My moms making me do chores"

I feel bad for lying to them so much but they just wouldn't understand the truth. I don't want to see my friends and their judgmental stares. I know they will have questions and I know I won't be able to answer them. They just wouldn't understand. Heck, I don't even understand.

~~~

     Saturday and Sunday, I did pretty much nothing, just watched shows and blocked the world out. Sadly, now I have to return to school. I can't go back there. I can't walk next to... I can't go back to school.

My mom's abrupt knocking on my door shoots an idea into my head. The perfect plan. I'll pretend to be sick. I never pretend to be sick so my mom shouldn't suspect a thing. I usually hate skipping school so why would I fake it, right? It's the perfect plan.

"Good morning Jaim- oh no what's wrong!?"

Her face is riddled with concern, and I want to tell her I'm fine and ease her nerves, but then I would have to go to school.

"I don't feel well."

She lays a hand across my forehead and hums an answer to herself. She claims it doesn't feel hot but nonetheless, suggests I should stay home, which I obviously agree with.

Even though, I don't have to go to school today I know I will have to go back eventually, probably tomorrow.

~~~

After school, I hear a knock on my door and in comes my friend Ryan. He comes bearing schoolwork, and lots of it. We chat for a while about this cute girl he just met and how she's 'the one'.

"Her laugh makes me get butterflies in my stomach and..."

What he describes as butterflies in his stomach, is the exact feeing I get with Lemon Boy. Do I get butterflies around them? No, because if I had butterflies that would mean I like him, which can't be true because he is a boy and I'm not a girl. I'm a boy and so is he.