Saving Shoyo ✔︎

10//Letter//

 ⚠️TW: Panic attack⚠️

Hinata POV

I squirm under Ushijima's gaze. I'm sure he already knows why I want it. "There's just a few..um..marks on my back and they won't go away. I want to be able to change in front of everyone again." I cringe, hating how pathetic I sound.

A heavy hand lands on my shoulder and I flinch, looking up. Ushijima's face is grim and unyielding. "Hinata, you have to tell your teammates."

My breath catches in my throat and I sputter out some excuse but he cuts me off. "They can help you. They can protect you."

My eyes dampen and I look down. I don't want them to know but Ushijima is right. He's right and I hate it. "Please just...I'm trying to pretend it never happened!" I curse myself for raising my voice as people start to turn our way.

Slowly, Ushijima lifts the tube of concealer from my grip. "Covering up your pain won't make it go away, it'll just make everything harder for you. Have faith in your team."

My hands shake a bit, and I clench them into fists. "I'll try." I finally whisper, relenting. It's not much of a promise but Ushijima nods all the same, tourmaline eyes shining sadly. Sometimes I can't help but admire those eyes.

"Let's go, you don't need anything from here," the Ace growls, leading me from the shop. I almost reach for the concealer again but stop myself. I promised him I'd try.

The trek back through the mall is quiet, but not uncomfortably so. He doesn't push me to talk, and I'm grateful for that small mercy. Eventually we reach the metro rail platform that will take us back to the camp.

The rail car is crowded, and both Ushijima and I end up standing, pressed against the other passengers awkwardly. I quietly stare out the window at the whizzing Tokyo cityscape, admiring with the rest of the tourists.

My peaceful thoughts are interrupted by the sickening feeling of someone squeezing my upper thigh. I jolt, sidling forward and nearly bumping into Ushijima's chest. What creep just grabbed me?!

The hand climbed farther up for the second squeeze, groping my ass and  prodding at my entry. I flinch, hard, and accidentally bump into Ushijima. That's when the towering Ace glanced behind my, presumably to whoever had been groping me.

A frown cut deep into Ushijima's face as he pulled me into his chest and bared his teeth at the man behind me. I shivered. Why can't a stupid train ride even go smoothly?

I breathe slowly, in and out, as I wait for the panic to fade. Once it finally does, though, I notice how close we are, how Ushijima has me pressed against him. It's the first physical contact in a while that I didn't hate. . .

My face heats up, but I don't move from where I'm being smothered. I nearly shivered as Ushijima's hands splayed on my back, long fingers gripping me through the fabric of my hoodie.

I curl my own smaller hands into Ushijima's coat in response, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the male above me.

The train ride wasn't so bad after that.

~

The next day I found myself staring blankly into my locker as the other boys began to exit the changing room. I was half waiting to change alone, half puzzled by the letter someone had stuck in my locker.

I pulled it free and gingerly ripped it open as the other guys changed, if only for something to do. Ushijima had already left, as had most of my team. I pushed the ace from my mind as I studied the creased paper, reading the first line.

Dear Chibi~chan~,

Suddenly breathing became difficult.

Tendou POV

The locker rooms had nearly emptied out, just me and Karasuno's number 10 left, when I finished changing. Grabbing my water bottle, I almost headed out before I noticed something was wrong.

Hinata was hunched over, clutching his sides and breathing heavily, like he couldn't seem to get enough air. I began to hear hiccuping, choked gasps, and my mind reeled. All of a sudden I remembered when I used to get panic attacks in middle school, when the other kids would bully or threaten me.

I never knew Hinata was dealing with something like this.

"Hey, Hinata-," I began, walking up to the orange-headed spiker with deliberate care.

"He's gonna-- he's gonna-- no no no he's right," Hinata choked out, his body wracked in empty sobs. The closer I got the clearer I could see his shrunken pupils and wide, unblinking eyes. Fear- he was afraid.

Of what?

"Hinata, look at me." I was seldom serious but this...I couldn't afford to play around right now.

I wrapped my arms around the short ball of sunshine, gently pulling his posture back and his arms away from his body. He needed to open up, to breathe.

"With me, okay? Deep breaths, close your eyes." I hummed in his ear, sucking in a long, full breath in encouragement.

Body still shaking and arms wracked with tremors, Hinata took a long, shuddering breath as his muttering fell silent. We exhaled together.

"Good, good," I said softly, "Now again."

The spiker nodded, fingers quivering and eyes still wide. Two more breaths and the shaking began to subside.

"Close your eyes," I repeated loosening my grip as he did so. I felt all of the tension suddenly drain from his body as he slumped forward, back pressing into my chest.

My heart wrenched at the way that the smaller boy hiccuped, pressing his hands over his eyes.

That's when I noticed the piece of paper on the floor.

~

Wordcount: 989

A/n

WE HIT TEN CHAPTERS BITCHES YESSS

Y'know, I originally intended to make these chapters 800 words long but they're averaging about 1,000 words now oH wELl

Look at me, double uploading heheh you're so lucky ^-^

Also I'm thinking of writing a Tsukiyama FF, any thoughts?

LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU! I love reading your comments (yes, I read them all)

Notice how blissfully Oikawa-free the last few chapters have been? Well unfortunately he still exists, sorry ;P

MWAH MWAH KITH KITH

~Mor-chan