Hinata POV
I just left. There were too many people there and I didn't want to be seen. I could feel their eyes on me and I just... just didn't want anyone to look at me. Ever. My hand curled into a fist as I broke into a sprint, running for the exit. I need to be outside, away from everything.
Look at you, always running away from your problems.
So what if I am.
Running away was the best option. I couldn't stomach waiting for them to question me, to pity me, to stare at me like I'm the perfect example of a weakling. I don't want to be a spectacle. I came here to play volleyball, to learn how to spike like the Little Giant not-- not to be forced through... whatever this is.
Trauma? Like I can even call it that. I'm just being dramatic.
I know how vacant I must look right now, but I can't seem to muster an emotion. My rope was fraying and it snapped, and when it did I didn't even want to hold on anymore anyway. It was too much effort.
Suddenly everything was too much effort. Crying, running, hiding, lying. What was the point of it all anyway? It's not like anyone would care even if they did know the truth. Sure, they'd hate him, but what if they already hated him for lying to them?The cool air hit my face as I slowed to a walk, crossing the field to sit under the Cherry tree at the far side, pulling my knees up to my chest. I couldn't seem to cry anymore, but the horrible ache in my chest just wouldn't go away no matter how much I pretended it wasn't there.
I don't know how long I sit there, shutting out the world, before I feel warm arms around me. At first, I can't stop the spike of terror as the arms hug me close, tight. I don't want to be touched right now, I don't want to be touched ever--
"Hinata."
I still from my squirming at the single word. At hearing my name come off Ushijima's tongue. My head hangs forward and I allow the larger male to pull me onto his lap slowly, arms still wrapped around my body. For some reason, it's okay if it's him. For some reason, as soon as I know it's Ushijima, the arms feel safe, protective, instead of restricting and caging.
What's wrong with me? Am I just latching onto the first thing that tolerates me despite my disgusting weakness? How pathetic. I'm sure the ace is fed up by now.
I don't reply to the silent plea in his voice, I don't move at all.
"They don't hate you," Ushijima whispers, and I can feel his hot breath in my ear as he lays his head against mine. "They won't ever hate you."
"You can't know that." My words are hollow, and he knows it. I just don't know anymore, and I don't want to risk loosing everyone.
"Maybe not. But you can't know they'll hate you either."
I'm silent at that, spacing out or thinking, I don't even know. It's the sound of Ushijima's deep voice that brings me back the next time he speaks. I can feel his chest vibrate from where he holds me.
"Hinata, will you forgive me?" That was not something I had expected to hear. Not from the ace, not from anyone.
My mind reels. What could he possibly want forgiveness for? I should be apologizing to him, groveling in thanks for keeping quiet for so long about how pathetic I am--
"Please," the word catches my attention, and I'm snapped back to reality to find Ushijima has turned me around so I sit facing him on his lap. My face heats at the suggestive position, but I don't say anything. "Please," he repeats, with a light of urgency in his tourmaline eyes.
"Hold on for me."
My mind doesn't register the words clearly, doesn't have time to think of what he could mean by that, before Ushijima continues.
"I've fallen for you so hard Hinata that I...," I don't think I'm breathing anymore. "I don't know if I'll be able to get up again if you don't."
I can't believe this. There's no way. Someone like him, with someone like me? How could he possibly want that?
Ah, there are those tears.
"Don't lie to me, I don't want lies right now, and I can't handle pity-," My words are silenced by the feeling of the ace pressing a kiss to my brow.
"I'm too stupid to lie, and I respect you too much to pity you."
I choke on a half laugh at his self-deprecating attempt at a joke, and the tears come harder. This time, I think I'm crying because I'm relieved. Relieved I'm not the only one who feels that way.
"I..yes, I-I think I've fallen for you, too, Ushijima-san," my voice is wobbly, but I continue. "I don't know if it's possible to fall for someone so hard you hit rock bottom but...that's where I am."
The worry creasing Ushijima's brow smoothes slightly, and he chuckles, relief evident in his expression. Something about him instantly lifts the burden of my thoughts, if only for a little while. It makes me not want to let you go.
"Then don't," Ushijima grins, bringing a hand up to cup the side of my face. His hand is so large, his person so threatening, but I don't flinch. Instead, I find myself leaning into the touch like a cat.
Then I realize. "I said that out loud?!"
Ushijima just laughs. "I'm glad you did, Hinata. I-,"
"Call me Shoyo." He blinks, and I bury my face in his chest to avoid what I just said, cursing how embarrassing I sounded.
A beat of silence passes before I feel the ace's large, comforting hands run through my hair.
"Alright, Shoyo. Call me Wakatoshi."
Wordcount: 973
A/n
AHHH I LIED I SAID I WAS GONNA UPDATE ON FRIDAY TGDHGFWGHSDG--
To be fair, I did have a volleyball tournament these past few days sO~
I'm a middle blocker, just like Tendou and Tsukki, incidentally my favorite characters, who'd a thunk
Also, my guilty pleasure has been writing a way-too-detailed Technoblade x OC Fanatsy minecraft world (MCYT FF)
It's actually good, maybe 2,300 words so far? Idk if I'll post it, we'll see. The writing is much better than this book oof. I honestly started the story because I wanted to write fight scenes, I'm good at detailed cool fight scenes. They take some time but it's so satisfying to reread what you wrote and be able to envision the fight.
I feel like I write bad in this book. Like, you wouldn't be able to tell but...if you read some of my other stuff--
I have some scenes/limes I'm really proud of. Have I never actually written a lemon?!?!?! OMG I HAVEN'T--
Not a full one anyway. Damn. OH IM DUMB I wrote one for Oikawa earlier yuck--
Um... do y'all wanna lemon with uh... Ushijima and Hinata?
hgFTYGUHIYGFTGghjvhwje OK OK IMA GO NOW THIS A/N IS WAYYY TOO LONG
I just ramble tbh.
ANYWAYZ ILYSM MOCHIES and I seriously love reading all your comments bro it makes my day <3
~Mor-chan

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Saving Shoyo ✔︎
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