A Nightmare Within a Dream

(15) in solitude, all noise is heartbreaking.

-Alex-

it was quiet. my wrists and ankles sore from the chains that pulled at me. iron fetters on my hands to keep me from using my powers. i looked around but didn't recognize this cell. it didn't matter anyway because i had no intention of leaving. i had no reason to. i had betrayed my mother, my country, my people. the person i loved? a lie. a half demon seduces the crown princess to...what?  i don't know. i guess look for a way to gain rights? end the monarchy? whatever it was it worked. im enamored by her. was?  whatever.

i heard a cough. probably from the guards who were outside my cell making sure i stayed put. i wonder if wigget was in on this, i wonder if he knew. if he hid it from me too. i don't know how long its been. i feel like its been days. i thought of her. and it made my heart crack. as much as i wanted to deny it, that she was one of those things that i've been raised to hate. that she had lied to me. that she had used me and was going to dispose of me as soon as she got what she needed. it couldn't be. but it made sense. all the hiding. the stupid pills. the glances of secret between her and her father.  i was raised to kill them, to defend my kingdom against all threats and there they were a threat. im so tired. i miss the feeling of the floor. though the pain was nothing compared to the unbearable pain that was her. the words she had told me on the train kept repeating in my head. like endless blows to me.

' remember I would never lie to you,'

' remember I would never lie to you,'

' remember I would never lie to you,'

' remember I would never lie to you,'

and yet she did.
i was played like a fool.

i wanted to forget all about her. i wanted the pain to stop i want to stop seeing her face. oh gosh. why didn't you tell me. why did you have to betray me. why did you let me fall in love with you? why did you find me in the garden that day? you should've left me to die. i would've been happy to die without love. I would've died without love anyways.

i closed my eyes shut.

i cant hold on any longer.

i'm tired. i thought as i sat quietly in the garden. looking down at my feet. my body bruised and bleeding from the training. from the torture. i picked on the scabs on my hands.

"do you think mother and father would even care if i died?" i whispered, clutching my ribs as they burned.

"if they didn't, i definitely would,"

a cheerful voice called out in front of me. i looked up only to see a little girl with bows and ribbons, brown curly hair that was terribly hidden with a scarf and dots... little dots on her face what are those? i stared into her eyes they were a soft yellow. that's a weird eye color. i thought to myself. it was the first time i saw another girl. i didn't know what to say.

"what happened to you?" she asked pointing to my bruises and cuts. i looked away and moved away from her. she was kinda pretty, it didn't matter though, im not allowed to interact with anyone. "well my name's cathrine! my daddy's part of the royal court, who are you?" she continued sitting next to me. i look around to find no other benches in the vicinity. just great.  "that's okay if you don't talk. my mommy used to say that sometimes a person needs a little love to be themselves!" She paused, "she's not with us anymore..." the little girl became less chipper but then reverted as if respun. "but! shes in a better place, waiting for me!" she says happily holding her necklace.

"alexis," i spoke softly not looking back at her. afraid i'd speak too loudly and alert the guards. the girl only stopped confused and tilted her head.

"what?" she asked curious to know what i had said.

"alexis," i paused, waiting for her to connect the dots. "that's my name," i responded again, even quieter. the girl moved to meet my face. from the corner of my eye, i saw her grin widely.

"you have the most wonderful name," she said sweetly. something churned in me and i looked away.

"what are those things on your face? the dots," i quietly said. i heard her giggle.

"those are my freckles! they're kinda like birthmarks," she said. i turn to glance at her and see her touching her face with a memorable expression. it was almost a sad expression. before i could ask why she was sad i heard a guard's stepping toward the hidden gazebo in an attempt to find me

"hey times up," i heard him say.

"i should get going. its time for me to go back," i whisper abruptly standing up. "you shouldn't let anyone see you here, you could get into trouble," i looked toward the guard's direction, i glanced back and saw her still sitting there smiling at me,

"Bye Cathrine."