white sabered || kylo ren x reader

Twenty Six

[N/A: Que Super Bass by Nicki Minaj ladies and gentlemen, it's showtime.]

Bright, fluorescent lights blinded your eyes as your pupils readjusted to the harsh lighting of the room, lazily covering your eyes with one arm before irritably turning over, going to feel for Kylo to complain.

He wasn't there.

You quickly propped up, looking around.

Kylo was already awake, throwing on his under sweater and pants beside the wardrobe. The bulbs that you never happened to notice surrounded the border of the room were on, and they were bright. You don't think you've ever even seen them on before.

"I couldn't find my undershirt in the dark, I'm sorry for waking you." Kylo soon spoke, but you just rubbed your eyes in the response, falling back into the comfort of the bed.

"You've had a rough few weeks in my absence haven't you?" His voice broke the silence. You felt him weigh down one side of the bed, and his gloved hand rubbed your bare skin. "I could feel your tremors, you were quite the mess."

You stayed silent, almost forgetting about that entire thing. No longer your home.

No longer your home.

Kylo sighed, letting go of your arm. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." He added, standing up from the mattress. "I just need you to learn.." He paused when you rose up to connect your eyes with him, a glint of offense stirred within them.

"We need to learn we have differences, and how to compromise with them." He corrected himself, but you could tell it pained him inside to know he had to change as well in order to win you over for good.

"Come now, get ready. We have a meeting with the Generals." 

You swung your feet over the bed, going to the wardrobe to dig through what Kylo deemed as your side of the closet. You barely ever stayed in your own quarters anymore, there was no need for you to. You and Kylo were practically "official".

You slid on your black dress, attaching the little cape to you with a small smile. It was the only thing you liked about your entire little dress-up. It reminded you of the flowy dresses at home. 

"Are you ready?" Kylo's voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you nodded, strapping the last band of your heels onto you.

The walk to the conference room was silent. Boots and heel clacking echoed down the glossy halls, distracting yourself from your own thoughts. You couldn't think about General Hux's plan, not with Kylo being so close. God, why would he want you to be the leader of The First Order?

You shivered, giving a quick glance up at Kylo. He had his mask on, it was impossible to tell his emotion. You frowned, your pace becoming slower. You followed behind him, like a shadow in his wake. That's all he ever wanted you to be anyways.

You heard your name, making you jump. You were close to bumping into the wall in front of you, not realizing you had to round a corner while staring at the floor.

You looked back up at Kylo, him gesturing you along. "You're getting distracted, right here." He motioned to come back to his side, already further down the hallway around the corner. You quickly caught up, muttering a short apology.

The conference room was chatty, and could be heard from a few feet down the hall. All struck silent when it was made clear Kylo Ren was entering, though. Everyone's backs went stiff, lips sealed shut, eyeing Kylo Ren in obedience and forced respect. A painful reminder of how harsh your 'lover' could be. 

You stopped your gaze on Hux as you sat across from him, Kylo standing in front of the table. A shiver ran down your spine. "I want you to kill Kylo Ren." Hux's voice echoed through your head, a sour taste in your mouth. You quickly shoved the thought from your mind, but Hux gave you only a sparing glance before turning his attention to the Supreme Leader.

"I called this conference for the planet Batuu-" In an instance, you were lost in a pool of your thoughts, no one ever asked for your opinion anyway. 

Kylo's voice paused, leaving the air icy cold. "Any oppositions?" He asked, turning from the data board to the circle of Generals and Commanders. Silence.

"Well, how about you?" Kylo's gaze shifting to your eyes, sparking panic. You weren't paying a single bit of attention, and he probably knew it. Well, how were you suppose to oppose? You would have no solid argument, all he would have to say is "Do you even know what we're talking about" to shut you up. You sighed out, straightening your back.

"Yes, I like this plan." 

You noticed from your peripherals Hux's look of surprise, leaning back in his own seat. The tension in the air shifted onto you, Oh God, you did something wrong. 

"Then this conference is dismissed, I will see you all in the proceeding days." Kylo nodded, and everyone began to hurriedly exit.

You looked up at Kylo, your heart sinking at the thought of asking "What were we talking about again?". He would probably choke you to the ground, no, he loved you. Just ask, that's all it takes.

"Kylo?" You immediately shift your attention to the glossy conference table, leaning uncomfortably in your seat.

"Yes?" He responds, hands behind his back while still standing. He knew you didn't know, he was just waiting. An animal watching his injured prey.

"What were we discussing.. In this conference?" 

Pungent, heart-shattering, trembling silence. 

"I thought you knew. We were discussing the hostaging of Batuu in order to bait the Resistance. Mainly to grab hold of the Scavenger and to eliminate her. Do you not remember?" His head tilted, but you immediately stood up, bile rising to your tongue. "You knew I wouldn't agree to that!" You cried, knuckles turning paperwhite from clenching the table edge.

"Oh yes, I do know." Kylo, still calm as ever. He approached you, standing behind your chair. "Just think of it as the next step. You're already molding so well into your empress ro-I'm not your empress." You spat, snapping your head back towards him.

"You knew I wouldn't agree and you still did it. Is that supposed to come from a man that proclaims to love me? A man who calls me his entire life and is so fucking insistent on keeping me here like a caged bird?! A man who is still in a desperate search of another woman while gluing another right to his side?!" Tears brimmed your waterline. All of your anger, your insecurity, your anxiety. It was all overflowing in Kylo's face. Last night, this morning, it was nothing but manipulation. A tactic to soften you up for a harsh blow to the gut. 

"I don't know who you think you are, Kylo Ren, but it's not the man you perceive yourself to be." You hissed, pivoting to come around the chair and quite literally deck him in the mask. Your fist reared back, going in for the blow before stopping mid-air. Like an invisible hand put your wrist in an iron hold.

"I'm the stubborn one?" He asked, leaning down to come into eye level with you. "I thought a Grey Jedi, such as yourself, doesn't resort to violence?" He whispered, his vocoder barely picking up his voice, Your arm dropped, making you lose your balance. A gloved hand was there to catch the small of your back, Kylo's.

"Don't you forget this one, dearly beloved." He growled, prying his mask off with the other hand that wasn't holding you. His eyes were fiery, the burnt ember of his brown eyes turning into a full-fledged forest fire.

"No matter the circumstance, no matter where you are, no matter the time, the day, the person. When you are bound to fall, I will be the only one there to catch you." He was inches away from your face, staring blaster beams into your pupils. "Not Hux, not your lightsaber, not your home planet, not your village. It will always be me."

His teeth clenched, and Kylo suddenly let go of your back. You fell, but your bottom abruptly landed into your seat. "You forget this is supposed to be a two-way street. I'm not going to be the only one willing to change. Perhaps, you're not the righteous woman you perceive yourself to be either."

He turned, mask still in hand as he headed towards the exit of the conference room. You had barely exerted any kind of stamina, but you were gasping for air. Everything felt as if it was closing in on you. A panic attack. 

"And perhaps next time-" Kylo began, inches away from the now opened door.

"You will pay more attention to these conferences."