white sabered || kylo ren x reader

Twenty Four

A week had passed. Well, maybe a week since the incident in Kylo's quarters. Those words still lingered around, but they only came in waves. It was like waiting for the tsunami. You could always see it from the horizon, but you were already on the shore. There was nothing you could do but let the realization hit you over, and over, and over again. Yet, no matter how many times the words reappeared it affected you all the same.

You had panic attacks in meetings, in front of other generals, in front of Kylo, alone, it was all such a repetitive process that for whatever reason decided to really hit you now. Just when you were finally becoming comfortable enough to let the twisted strings of the dark side spin you into their web.

Right now you had locked yourself into a maintenance closet, the light from the ceiling dimly flickering. Inhale for six, hold for three, exhale for six. Zelda, the village, the possible extinction of everyone after your absence, Atticus and Jacqueline, Kylo murdered the only people that mattered to you, and you were falling in love with him, and you hated.. You loved, you hated, you loved-...

Inhale for six.

Hold for three.

Exhale for six.

You jumped at the sound of your name, a small knock following shortly after. "I was just wondering if you were still in here. I saw you on the cams." 

It was Hux, waiting patiently outside of the door for your appearance. You took another breath, brushing back your hair before gulping down all of the sour thoughts. "I'm okay.." You managed a mutter, stumbling over towards the door with shaky legs.

"You're not," Hux replied as you opened the door, his hands tucked behind his back and proper as ever.

"General, I'm fine." You emphasized, finally coming eye-to-eye with Hux as you gulped in another bout of air.

"Princess, you're not." 

"Princess?"

Hux rolled his eyes. "We've all been instructed to refer to you as such, Empress is far too formal for me to address you by." He explained. "We are still acquaintances, correct?" Hux quirked an eyebrow.

"If you're referring to that day in the conference room, then yes. We are still acquaintances." You nodded. "I understand where you're coming from, I mean-" You began, but Hux shook his head. "No, you do not." He corrected.

Hux adjusted his form, approaching closer. "Let's discuss this somewhere more private, I'd hate for your master to catch us exchanging cordialities." He advised, beginning to march down the hallway without another word. 

You hesitantly followed, becoming paranoid about Kylo yourself. It was rare lately for Kylo to let you trail off by yourself after the trooper incident, but he was away on an investigation at the moment. He felt it himself that it was cruel to keep you locked up in your quarters without an estimated time of when he would return.

That was the thing, there was no guarantee if Kylo would return right now, tomorrow, in an hour, or next week. That's what kept you constantly on your toes. 

Hux finally led you back into his commons aside from the Command Bridge, gesturing you to have a seat once more. "Tea?" He offered, same as last time. You thought for a moment, before turning around in your seat to face him. "Do you have any herbals?"

"Cassius and Tarine." He responded.

"I'll take Cassius with a sugar cube." You answered, turning back around in your seat without another word.

After minutes passed Hux rounded the corner, sitting down in the seat beside you as he sat the two cups down on the small end table that separated the two of you. "Now, back to what I was saying-" Hux began, taking a sip.