evan peters + ahs imagines

kyle spencer: i love you

tw: mentions of kyles sexual assault and death
word count: 1261
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"no!" kyle sobbed on the floor, pushing his bowl of soup away from him.

"kyle, i'm sorry. but it's just your mom, and cordelia said that i cant keep you here any longer."

"no. no. no, no."

kyle pulled his hands to his face, sobbing into them. i wasn't sure why kyle was getting so upset, it was his own home hed be going back to, shouldn't he be happy? "no, p-please." he cried, getting worked up.

"kyle, it's home. you're gonna go home." i cooed, and he held onto my hand, pulling it to his face as he cried. i sat closer to him, trying to figure out what was wrong. "what's wrong?"

"i-i stay. here! w-with you." he muttered, falling into my chest like a child who'd just scraped their knee.

"don't you miss your mom?" i asked softly.

he didn't react to this too well.

he mumbled loudly, seemingly in emotional agony. he shook his head, clinging to me for dear life.

"p-please." he finally said, softly.

"kyle what's wrong?"

i pulled him away from me and held his face in my hands, brushing my thumb underneath his eyes.

he was trying to speak, but it was too difficult.

"can you show me?" i asked, trying to figure out another way he could communicate his emotions.

kyle wasn't sure how to show me,  so he pointed to his heart, and made a heart with his hands and then broke it apart.

"she broke your heart?"

more tears started to form in his eyes and he shook his head.

"is that it?" i asked, wanting to know why he was so upset about his mother.

"no.." kyle responded, laying his head onto my chest. i wrapped my arms around him, kissing the top of his head. "h-hurt me."

"she hurt you?"

he nodded against my chest, a sob starting to escape his lips. his fist was holding onto a part of my shirt, scared that i would leave.

"i'm here. it's okay." i whispered, holding onto him. i didn't yet know how she hurt him, or anything but i felt so bad. kyle had gone through so much in his life, and it seemed i didn't know the half of it. "howd she hurt you, ky?"

he nuzzled into me, too scared to say what had happened. i looked down at him as he unclenched his hand from my shirt, and trailed it down to his pants. he didn't have to say more, i already knew. as soon as he figured i knew, he started to cry again.

"hey, it's okay. i won't take you there. you can stay with me, i'll figure something out." i cooed.

kyle was absolutely miserable, as he was most of the time since his death and resurrection. but now, he felt even more miserable. it was difficult thinking about the horrors of his assault, mainly when he could barley talk or understand too much. he knew what had happened to him, and he understood what happened before he died but now the understanding part was much harder.

not only that, but kyle felt embarrassed and alone. i tried my best to comfort him, but you can't really stop those intense feelings that he didn't even recognize.

he was sobbing so hard i thought he was going to break. so, i pulled him away from my chest, and once again held his face in my hands.

"it's okay." i cooed, "it's all okay."

"noo!"

"stop, kyle. i've got you. you're alright."

i hugged him, and we stayed like that for a few moments until he was able to calm down.

"sorry." he finally said, softly.

i felt so heartbroken for him, i'd never seen anyone in so much distress before as i'd seen in him the past few weeks.

"are you okay?" i asked.

he shut his eyes, he was shaking, but not crying.

he nodded, signaling that he was okay. but i knew he wasn't.

i looked over at the soup bowl sitting beside the two of us and picked up some soup with the spoon. i brought it to his mouth, and he took the spoonful i had given him. i fed him for a few minutes before he didn't want to eat any longer.

"i'm gonna talk to cordelia, okay?"

"o-okay." he whimpered.

i kissed his cheek and got up to leave.

"kyle cant go home. please cordelia!" i pleaded.

"you know that this isn't the place for him."

"come on, where else would be go? he's a zombie!"

cordelia sighed.

"okay, but keep him under control."

i smiled, "thank you!" i was so happy and relieved that cordelia has agreed to let kyle stay.

i slowly opened the door, careful not to startle him.

"cordelia said you can stay!" i smiled.

kyle was sitting on the bed and a small smile formed on his lips. his smile didn't look like a happy smile, but more like a relieved smile.

i sighed, and sat beside him.

"i'm sorry about everything that has happened to you." i told him, placing my arm around him. "i love you."

he looked at me, eyes widened. he was almost in shock that i said that i loved him. i placed my hand on his cheek and we rested my forehead against his.

"i love you, kyle."

kyle kissed me gently on my forehead, letting me know he loved me.

for some reason, kyles eyes began to water again. i guess he was just having an emotional day.

"hey, don't cry." i cooed.

kyle wrapped his arms around me neck, hugging me and tucking his face into my neck.

"i-i'm so tired."

"i know, i know."

he was emotionally tired, and just done.

"we'll take it easy, okay?"

it was so hard seeing kyle so vulnerable all the time, but i stuck with him. kyle was worked up, as he was most of the time. he couldn't really understand his emotions too well, but he was getting better every day.

kyle laid his head onto my shoulder, and we both stared a off. eventually i laid my head onto his head.

"you know, we'd only really talked a few minutes before your death so i don't know that side of you too much.." i started, "i loved that side of you. i love this side of you, too. i love every side of you."

kyle was able to relax onto me, and let my voice soothe him.

"i-i lo-ve you."

a smile broke through my lips.

"come here." i told him, moving to the bed to lay down. kyle laid with me, and we cuddled for hours, but i loved it so much itd only seemed like minutes.

i watched as he eventually fell asleep. his chest moving up and down with every breath, his eyelids fluttering from his dreaming. he looked so peaceful. i found myself wondering why, how could he be so peaceful after everything that's happened?

his assault. his death. his recovering. his panic attacks. everything. i just wished i could protect him, but he was his own person.

i saved this night of peace, happy that we got to lay with eachother and love on eachother.

"i love you, goodnight." i whispered softly, laying down onto his chest and shutting my eyes.

i knew everything would be okay, maybe not soon but one day. kyle knew that too. knowing that was comforting.