Cre.ker the tiny company is debuting its' first girl group but the girls receive more criticism than fame for having a connection with The Boyz. In particular, Moon Hana (Hana Moon whatever u wanna say) who has grown fond of a certain someone( ͡...
I sit up in bed, recalling the events of the past month.
Kiki was arrested on the spot for attempted murder, Ms. Yang retired from her CEO position due to the loads of backlash for mistreating idols.
The new CEO is super nice, and she allows me and Chanhee to date. NEON is in fact not disbanding, and is continuing as a five person group.
We've gotten so many new fans, and guess what? People like me! I have not seen a single hate comment. So many people came out and apologized, of course I forgave them because they really just had to know the truth.
My mental state is significantly better, my bruises and cuts are fading. The scratch on my arm is visible, but always protected with my arm warmer.
I am currently wearing this
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I am walking along the sidewalk to a discreet and small cafe. An old friend of mine from middle school owns it and informed me that around 5 it's pretty much empty. I walk into the cute pastel cafe and the door opens with a bell ring. A boy sitting at a two person table gets up from his seat and takes my hand.
"Hi Hana," Chanhee says. I smile up at him and go on my tip toes to ruffle his blonde bangs.
"Hi," I say, and we sit down at the table again.
"You're hair looks nice!" He says, and brushes through my newly dyed ash brown hair.
"Thanks, I got it done this morning," "I heard you got a migraine this morning, are you okay now?" He asks. "Yep, nothing major," I say. "Did you take your medicine?" "Yes," "Did you sleep early?" "Yes,"
"That's good," Chanhee smiles. We see each other nearly everyday now since the major music awards are over, but we don't go out often.
I look out the window for a second and my eyes widen. A girl similar looking to Kiki comes into the cafe. I look away immediately and I feel my heart beat quicken and it suddenly feels unsafe here.
Chanhee takes my hands, "Don't worry, there's no way it's her," he reasons. I nod but I refuse to look up.
The girl stops at our table.
"Ah," my old friend (Millie), who owns the cafe comes over. "No pictures please," Millie often helps idols sneak here to go out.
"I'm not here for a picture." The girl says calmly. She has a similar voice but not quiet the same. She waves Millie away and bends down closer to me. "Hana, right?"
I freeze, I can't move, she looks exactly like her. "Why do you want to know?" Chanhee speaks up confidentially.
"I'm not looking for trouble. If you won't talk then fine. You might know my sister, Kiki. She wanted me to give this to you," Kiki's older sister puts an envelope on the table. Without another word she leaves.
I can finally look up. chanhee is shaking the envelope.
"I think it's just paper," He informs me. I nod and take it from him, hands shaking.
"Hey, it's okay, she's gone. You don't have to read it if you don't want to," Chanhee says.
"No, I want to," I say, and carefully take the piece of paper out.
It really is from Kiki, I recognize her perfect handwriting anywhere.
Dear Hana, I'm writing this, because just as you said, people deserve to know the truth. I want you to know that I have no excuse for what I did. It haunts over me, and I'll never move past it. But I hope you can.
The truth is that at first I was jealous of you. When you first arrived as a trainee you ranked high during evaluations, if not first. Meanwhile I had been there for years prior to you. But that's not really why I turned to my violent persona.
When we finally debuted together, I was ecstatic. I had worked my whole life to get where I was, and that's all I ever cared about. And I mean all I ever cared about. Because I was so focused on that one goal I lost myself in that time. When things started going downhill, like when we got hate for being close to The Boyz, I was saddened, but I didn't really care.
But when you started to get a lot of attention for those false rumors, I began to worry. I began to think that you were stealing the spotlight on purpose, because most of the content, articles, and comments were always about you.
It made me angry for some reason, and I forgot how grateful I should have been to get this opportunity in the first place. You might have assumed all of this already, it is the obvious reason why I became so psycho. But that wasn't it. I never told a single soul about this, about the real reason.
But the truth is I was unhappy. I thought that when I debuted my depression would go away, and my life would be complete. That's why I was completely crushed when I still felt like something was missing. Something that I had risked my life, risked everything for, and it wasn't what I wanted after all. For some reason I felt the need to blame you. I thought maybe if all of your controversies stopped, I would be happy. Except those had nothing to do with me, so whether they were gone on or not, I was still unhappy.
My emotions got so out of control I completely ignored the big picture, and the world around me. I began to easily switch between my idol persona, and the one I became to "solve my problems". I practiced combat in the middle of the night, plotted my attacks, and threatened you in my spare time.
When I finally got the idea that if you disappeared completely maybe everything would work out, I was too deep into this hole, and I was having a hard time switching back to my idol persona. All logic and reasoning left me which is why I ended up actually pushing you off the bridge.
When you came back I thought I was safe because you lost your memories, I hadn't even felt guilty. But at the awards ceremony when you snapped back to reality and exposed me, I snapped back to reality as well.
I'm just saying this so that you know that I am now aware of what I did. And I am so sorry. Words can't even express how I am feeling. I want you to know that I am getting everything that I deserve, and I don't want you to accept my apology. I don't deserve it, I just hope that you have some conclusion now.
We will probably never see each other again because I am locked up, But once I am let go I am going to move far far way so you won't ever have to see me. It's the least I could possibly do.
- Kiki Chen
I take a deep breath.
"You okay?" Chanhee asks, who is chewing his lip from nervousness.
"Yeah. She, explained things well, you can read it," I hand him the letter. Once he finishes he nods, neither of us knowing what to say.
"Anyways, did you bring the stuff?" I ask him.
"Yep," Chanhee smiles and takes out a small kit from his back. We both take out our arm warmers from the stage and start embroidering small designs at the bottom.
We both sew on a small bridge, the one near the entertainment building. Of course, not to remember when I was pushed off, but where we had our first kiss.
Hand in hand we walk out of the cafe and back to the building. We spend the rest of the day in Chanhee's dorm on the couch watching last season's Road to Kingdom.
"Do you think we'll get married?" I ask suddenly.
"Huh?? I mean- sure," Chanhee says.
"Good. Then I'll propose okay? Is that good with you?" I say.
