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(Aurora's POV)
You're never prepared for the loss of a parent. That void always remains. A missing piece in your heart.
I've been told it gets better with time. It never occurred to me that this pain would still be evident a year later. I feel like I can't do anything I used to love without thinking of mom's face.
Julie and I loved to sing. It was our thing. We were pretty damn good, too. I physically can't bring myself to do it. Something that made me whole, makes me want to crawl into fetal position and just cry for hours. It'll never be the same without mom.
Julie and I dropped out of the music program. The teacher has given us so many chances to take our spots back before they fill it but, we can't. Julie was going to try and perform for her class today. Lydia and I watch her walk down the hall to her locker with her head down. I know she's terrified.
"Is it any better? For either of you?" Lydia asked me.
"Not at all." I sighed and walked over to Julie. "Hey, love. Figure out what you're doing today?"
Her friend, Flynn, answered for her. "She said she'll know in the moment." She retorted.
"Julie..." I trailed.
"Hey, don't look at me. I don't see you making any effort." Julie remarked.
"Fair point." I sighed.
I was lucky to miss Carrie handing out flyers for some rally tonight. She gets on my nerves.
"Hey, text me okay? I want to know how it goes." I let out.
"Yeah yeah." Julie smiled and I walked away with Lydia.
"Are you ever gonna sing again?" Lydia asked me.
Good question. It really is. And it's one I don't know the answer too.
"Time will tell." I shrugged.
__
I guess the performance didn't go well. Julie froze and ran out. I was sitting with her at the table. She was silent.
"Are you okay?" I asked sincerely.
"Would you be?" She asked back.
I wouldn't be.
"No."
She let out a breath. "Will it ever get easier?"
"Who knows? I'm still working on it, too. What you did today was brave."
"It didn't feel very brave."
"It's more than I've done."
I miss it all. I miss music and singing with Julie. I miss belting my heart out and having fun.
